


Seasons 11-13 Reviews

by grey2510



Series: Tumblr Backup [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode Review, Meta, Season/Series 11, Season/Series 12, Season/Series 13, from tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-19 16:19:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 67
Words: 72,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17004996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grey2510/pseuds/grey2510
Summary: Seasons 11-13 Ep Reviews (originally posted on Tumblr)





	1. Parallels? (11x04)

**Author's Note:**

> Season 11 is kind of when I started doing episode reviews on the fly, so not all episodes have a review. 
> 
> I'm not looking for kudos or comments or anything. This is just for my benefit.
> 
> Also I did exactly zilch for editing formatting, beyond taking out images/gifs and writing what would have been there. This is pretty much a straight copypasta job.

 

Anyone else notice that it was SAM who got all the sexytimes action in “Baby” and that Dean’s only comment the next morning after the Heather story / the bar is “Mistakes were made”? 

Sam gets the waitress, he flirts with the cashier… And yeah, I’m more of a meaningful relationship instead of one night stands kinda person, but hey, consenting adults and all that… and it was nice to see Sam have the chance to loosen up for a change.

Meanwhile, the only really meaningful interaction Dean has, other than with Sam, is with Cas (via phone, but still).

For 10+ seasons, we’ve been figuratively beaten over the head with the fact that DEAN is the womanizer, DEAN is the flirt, not Sam.

But now, two episodes in a row, we see Dean get shut down by women. 

And in case you missed last week’s episode or the 100,000 gifsets posted since last week, who did Dean have the most meaningful interactions with in 11x03? Oh right, Cas. 

(Random side note: I’m actually ok with Dean continuing to flirt with women, though last week’s scene was just weird because it was so out of place with the action, and in some ways, it was OOC. Dean flirting while canvasing for info on a case? Totally IC. Dean flirting while in the middle of a tense search to rescue a hurt friend/family member who might be in danger of hurting someone else? Ew. And just no. And OOC. Dean might not always think with his upstairs brain, but c’mon, priorities! Family  _always_  comes first. Anyway, remember, folks, if you’re in the “Dean is bi” camp like me, liking Cas doesn’t mean that he is no longer attracted to women!)

I feel like we’re back in Season 8/Purgatory territory: the Dean and Cas storyline is being told parallel to Sam’s romantic (Amelia) / sexual (waitress & cashier) storyline.

Oh and let us always remember the moment when Sam asked Dean if he was ready to settle down with a hunter, someone who knew the life (aaaand Sam did not use gendered pronouns at all during this) and was then surprised when Dean shot him down. Granted, he should have expected this response because, hello, have you met your emotionally constipated brother, Sam? But really, who could Sam have possibly meant? Because based on his surprise, Sam must have had  _someone_  in mind when he asked Dean, and Cas is really the only viable candidate. 

(And speaking of parallels, anyone get 10x16 confession flashbacks during Sam and Dean’s conversation in 11x04?)

So yeah. Sam ships it. The shows ships it.

And this post ended up way longer than I intended. Whoops.

##

[spn](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn) [spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [destiel](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/destiel) [nyoom nyoom baby](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/nyoom-nyoom-baby) [dean is bi](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/dean-is-bi)[spn season 11](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-11) [spn season 11 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-11-reviews) [11x04](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/11x04) [10x16](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/10x16)


	2. Creepy (11x06)

Fandom: We want SPN to be creepy again! Like it was in the early seasons!

  
SPN Writers: "Creepy," you say? Ok, how about we Renesmee (it's totally a verb now) Amara with Dean?

  
Fandom: WTF. No.

  
(Seriously, the episode was so good except for that.)  


##

[spn](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn) [spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [spn season 11](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-11) [dean winchester](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/dean-winchester) [amara](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/amara)[spn season 11 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-11-reviews) [11x06](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/11x06)


	3. 11x10

Dear Destiel shippers,

Please stop freaking out about Cas being possessed by Lucifer or the whole Cas feels unloved thing. Think about it: we all have those moments, and Cas has been mentally struggling all season; this is nothing new. It also doesn’t mean it’s true. 

Besides, do you really think Dean (and Sam) is just going to sit by while Lucifer walks around in Cas’ body?

And, let’s not forget that Dean is usually the most honest and most emotional when he thinks he’s going to lose someone he cares about. Don’t believe me? Think of all the times he thought he was seriously going to lose Sam. Or think of Dean and Cas in Purgatory. Or when Dean and “Emmanuel” talked in the car, because he thought the Cas he knew was gone. OR THE FREAKING CRYPT SCENE. 

Speaking of the Crypt Scene, let’s replace Naomi with Lucifer and what does that scene look like? The finale of “Swan Song”. If you don’t think that Dean isn’t going to try and break through Lucifer’s hold on Cas (unless Cas’ soul is in the Cage?), then I don’t know what show you’ve been watching.

(Yes, I brought up a lot of Dean and Sam parallels. I don’t ship Wincest, but again, if you say that Dean doesn’t love Sam (as a brother!!! people can love more than one person and in different ways!!!), then I’m just gonna have to quote Dean, “Have you met me?”)

So don’t give up hope. Watch the show. See where it goes. Then judge the endgame after it happens.

Sincerely,

Me

##

Destiel spn spoilers spn season 11 spn season 11 reviews 11x10


	4. Lucifer’s Vessel (11x10)

I’ve seen a few posts about how Lucifer possessing Cas doesn’t fit canon because Sam is Lucifer’s true vessel. I think this can be explained fairly easily:

1) Sam is his true vessel, but not his  _only_  vessel (e.g. Nick. Also I have a headcanon that Nick is a distant Campbell relative; since John was a Michael vessel, it makes sense that the other half of the family was Lucifer vessels, which means Mary could have been a vessel for Lucifer. Now  _that_  is something I would have loved for them to address.).

2) Cas  _is_  a vessel, not an angel possessing a human. That body is no longer the body of Jimmy Novak, even if it looks like him. This is a vessel reassembled/created by God to do one thing and one thing only: host an angel. It’s possible that this makes Cas’ body different from others.  

3) Yes, Cas deteriorated when he stole another angel’s Grace, but that’s different than being possessed. The other angels’ personality never showed when Cas had their Grace. Obviously that’s not the case here.

4) Cas’ Grace, as far as we know, is still in the body (unless it got left behind in the Cage somehow). Before, Nick and Sam drank demon blood to keep their bodies running for Lucifer. Maybe Cas’ Grace is preserving the vessel, even if Lucifer is in control.

5) It is canonically possible for a human vessel to host more than one non-human “soul”/entity at the same time: Crowley possessed Sam to help Sam kick out Gadreel.

Who knows. Maybe I’m being too optimistic and naive about the show/writers. But I hate when everyone shits on an arc before it even really gets going.

(Except for Charlie dying. Feel free to shit on the writers for that forever and ever. I’m still bitter and maintain that it made absolutely no fucking sense…but I digress.)

##

[castiel](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/castiel) [spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [lucifer](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/lucifer) [spn season 11](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-11) [SPN](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/SPN)[spn season 11 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-11-reviews) [11x10](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/11x10)


	5. 11x11: Who is Dean pining for?

Ok, so I’m obviously biased and want Dean to be pining for Cas, but I think there’s a big difference between the connections Dean has with Amara and Cas that make this question more Destielish than Damaraesque. (I’ve just decided those are the adjective forms of those ship names. Feel free to disagree.)

On the surface, it would make sense for Dean to be pining for Amara. They’ve had a weird connection all season (and I’m still skeeved out by teen!Amara basically hitting on Dean) and within the episode, Lucifer asks Dean if he’s attracted to Amara. Dean doesn’t deny it.

But to me, that’s not the same as pining. Yes, there is some sort of attraction or connection between Dean and Amara. I’m not denying that in the least. Do I think it’s consensual? Heck no. Dean is totally creeped out by it.

Do I think that’s who Mildred was referring to when she said Dean’s pining?

No.

And here’s why:

1) Mildred’s just a regular ol’ human. Sure, she’s had a supernatural run in or two, but that’s it. It’s not like she’s magically picking up on Amara and Dean’s “bond.” 

2) Just because Mildred says whoever he’s pining for is a lucky lady doesn’t necessarily mean anything. That’s just heteronormativity at work. 

3) Mildred clearly picks up on Dean’s pining when she’s talking to him about sunsets, retirement, and having a happy life. If you look at Dean’s face in that scene, it’s clear he’s thinking about  _some_  sort of happy future for himself, and he looks wistful. Would Dean be thinking about sunsets with Amara? Heck no. Any “pining” he has for Amara is magical and sketchy and not part of an apple pie life.  

Other non-Mildred reasons from this episode:

1) Sam is set up with a romantic interest in this episode (I ship him and Eileen so hard), and this romantic interest fits what he said back in “Baby”: Eileen is a hunter, she’s someone who understands the life.  _Supernatural_  loves doing parallels; it’s not hard to imagine that both brothers have someone in the life they can watch sunsets with.

2) Sam brings up Purgatory, something that hasn’t been talked about on the show in forever. Wanna know what else was great about Purgatory? Oh right…epic Dean and Cas scenes. Wanna know who  _did_  feel guilty and tried his hardest to get someone out of Purgatory for a year? Oh right…Dean. Why bring up Purgatory this season considering how far removed we are from that?

3) Robbie Thompson.

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[32 notes](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/post/138195239023/11x11-who-is-dean-pining-for#notes)


	6. 11x12

I can’t wait to rewatch the episode because I’m pretty sure I missed half of the awkward dinner conversation because I was laughing/cringing so bad.

Oh and uh…  **WAYWARD DAUGHTERS BETTER BECOME A THING!**

## 

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	7. SPN 11x13

Well. That was an episode that happened.

I think this is the first episode all season that bored me.

That being said, some takeaways:

1) Everyone chill the eff out. They made it pretty damn clear that the Damara thing is sketchy as hell and no one is on board with it, except for Amara.

2) Dean says Amara’s not his deepest desire in a romantic way. HOWEVER, it’s clear she is his deepest desire in a “I wanna gank that bitch” kind of way (he even says this at the beginning of the episode, that he doesn’t care about any cases unless they’re a lead on Amara). **

3) Dean did get a real deepest desire: he beat Sam in rock paper scissors. (I’m pretty sure that scene was the only redeeming thing about this episode.)

** I still stand by [my assessment that when Mildred said Dean was pining, she wasn’t talking about Amara](http://grey2510.tumblr.com/post/138195239023/11x11-who-is-dean-pining-for). Further proof from this episode: Dean says he only feels this connection to her when she’s near him. Amara wasn’t anywhere near him when he was chatting with Mildred.

[spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [Destiel](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/Destiel) [spn season 11](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-11) [spn season 11 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-11-reviews) [11x13](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/11x13)


	8. 11x14: Thoughts

  1. Thank you, SPN, for redeeming yourself after last week’s episode.
  2. Misha, you are amazing. I’ve enjoyed your Lucifer performance throughout, but I felt like in this episode, you really nailed it.
  3. Sam, the protective brother and friend. <3
  4. The sub plot line: good, but actually felt like the weakest point of the episode. I just felt like there was more they could have done with it. Then again, Dean sums it up best at the end: he was just a witness.
  5. I think we all could’ve guessed that the Hand of God wouldn’t work if only because we’re only halfway through the season.
  6. Dean’s denial that Cas  _chose_  to say yes to Lucifer….sounds a lot like post-Purgatory, doesn’t it? [Ignore the shipper goggles…nope, nothing to see here.]
  7. Can we talk for a minute about the look on Dean’s face immediately after Casifer got zapped out of the bunker? Heartbreaking.



Minor complaints:

  1. The Nazi officer sounded and acted like he was hired from “Hollywood Nazis R Us”.
  2. Not nearly enough Indiana Jones references. Seriously, only one  _Raiders_  joke? I fully expected Dean to make some sort of crack about it when Sam was explaining it all in the kitchen.



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	9. 11x15: Keep Grinding

Some initial thoughts (although I think I’m going to have to watch the episode again because I was seriously dying from secondhand embarrassment–in a good way. I was laughing and cringing all at the same time).

  1. “He does [want to be saved]. Even if he doesn’t know it yet.” – Dean about Cas.   Kudos to Jensen’s acting: he always knows how to break my heart. Ughhh I  ~~hate~~  love when Dean is so protective and in denial about his friends/family/whateverlabelyouwanttoapplytoCas. Makes me think of S6 when Dean just couldn’t possibly believe that Cas could be working with Crowley. 
  2. Speaking of Crowley: CROWLEY YOU ARE AMAZING. Although it’s really too bad that the Hands of God seem to be one shot deals. I think it would have been utterly fascinating to have the (former) King of Hell become permanently juiced up with God’s mojo. What kind of existential crisis would that bring?
  3. Crowley and Lucifer: love their dynamic. Not in an approving/this is a healthy relationship way, obviously, but Mark and Misha just play off each other so well, and the Lucifer vs. Crowley conflict is interesting.
  4. Dean’s sexuality. Ok, so I know it’s easy to just shout DEAN IS BI from the rooftops, but after that episode,  _c’mon,_  how can you not?? Even if you wanted to deny it as reading too much into acting choices in this episode or whatever, the the funeral scene was structured to parallel Sam’s first crush, Rio, with Dean’s extremely flustered (like it may have been worse than the Dr. Sexy incident) encounter with Gunner. Oh, and other than Dean congratulating Sam with a “nice” in regards to Rio, Dean showed nothing but passing interest in her. Hmmmmm.
  5. Dean and Gunner: so much to unpack there. The scar stories? The demon deals? The working for little reward? Deserving Hell/punishment? Shit, the list could go on.
  6. “You’re just Dean Winchester’s #1 fan.” – Casifer.  ~~Um, no, you’re wearing Dean’s #1 fan, assbutt.~~  As much as I am against Dean/Crowley (real, normal Dean), I do firmly believe that Deanmon had a  _lot_  of fun with Crowley, if ya know what I mean. I think it’s interesting that the show, which often seems so against the possibility of Destiel being canon, has no problem returning to the pretty much accepted fact that Deanmon/Crowley was canon. Sam calls it their “summer of love.” Crowley listens to break up music and goes through the photos. Lucifer makes this comment. Perhaps the reason the writers aren’t afraid to reference this relationship is that it all happened off camera and it’s over. Which is just chickenshit, if true.
  7. Minor complaint: I wish that the two storylines had tied together a little more. When Crowley zapped out, I was half expecting him to show up near the Winchesters; considering they were dealing with one of his former crossroads demons, it could have worked plot-wise.
  8. Sam. I feel like I didn’t have as much to say about Sam here, but I still love Moose. And I fully expect all sorts of “Sammy knows” and “Sam Ships It” gifs from this episode. Like I swear, 90% of what Sam’s expressions were doing was either 1) trying not to tease the crap out of his brother or 2) being all supportive and understanding of his brother’s obvious crushes.
  9. Dean and wrestling. In “Bad Boys”, Sonny mentions that Dean was on the wrestling team. (Yes, very different kinds of wrestling, I know.) I think it’s cool that this characterization has carried over into more than one episode.



 

Anyone else want to chime in? Thoughts? I feel like there’s a lot more to say, but I’m tired and am going to bed.

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	10. Idjits. (SPN 11x16)

1) If we don’t get Wayward Daughters, I would settle for The Adventures of Bobby and Rufus.

2) Kind of a minor point, but still worth mentioning: the fact that the girl had two moms and everyone survived at the end was a nice touch. 

3) The parallels. Unlike a lot of other parallels in this show, these were absolutely blatant–I mean, it’s the entire premise of the episode. So I want to talk about the whys and the significance.

Oh and even though Cas is mentioned only once in the episode, he’s pretty central to what I’m going to talk about.

**Rufus and Sam:**  This is one is kind of interesting because vernacular and personality-wise, Rufus and Dean share some similar traits (aka. the cocky smart-ass). BUT, in this case, it actually made sense for Sam to be the Rufus parallel (highlighted beautifully when Sam says he’s getting too old for this after Rufus’ alias is established as Murtaugh)…and it’s kind of really disturbing/depressing. 

Sam tends to be our optimist (which, granted, is a relative term on this show), but at the same time, he is very much the  _realist_. In Season 5, he pulls a Spock à la _Wrath of Khan_  and says ‘yes’ to Lucifer because it’s the only solution that makes sense. Same with the Demon Trials. There’s also a case to be made for Sam and depression, but I think these decisions, at their core, are completely logical. Sam has always recognized that sacrifices need to be made, and so he is willing to make them; the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one. (Dean, by comparison, makes sacrifices to save the specific people he loves and because he genuinely believes he isn’t worth being saved himself; it’s a nuanced difference, but still there.) 

How does this tie into Rufus? 

The oldest rule of hunting, according to Rufus: you can’t save everyone.

How does this tie into S11?

“Maybe Cas doesn’t want to be saved.”

Sam is the one who keeps trying to remind/convince Dean that Cas  _chose_  Lucifer. Sam is the one who understands the  _logic_  behind Cas’ decision.

This doesn’t mean that Sam doesn’t care about Cas!!

But, he sees the bigger picture: Amara is the biggest threat, and maybe, just maybe, the Lucifer gambit will pan out.

And honestly, this worries me. Because Sam, out of everyone, should know just how bad of a plan this is and should want to get Lucifer locked up and as far away from Cas as they can.

But Cas is one person/being. And the rest of the world needs saving.

And the last time Sam saved  _one_  person (removing the Mark from Dean) and ignored the potential consequences, Charlie died and he put the entire world in danger. I’m NOT blaming all of this on Sam. (Only the stupid writers get the blame for Charlie.) So, it’s not hard to assume that Sam is going to go back to being  _logical,_  which means saving Cas isn’t his main priority. It’s  _a_  priority, but it’s not  _the_  priority. 

**Dean and Bobby:**  I love Dean and Bobby’s dynamic, and before I talk about this episode, I actually want to back-track a little (ok, a lot) to 6x06 when Bobby tells Dean that he’s his favorite. I love Sam to pieces, so this stung, but at the same time, I understand it. I think that Bobby has a soft spot for Dean because  _no one else did_  when Dean was a kid. (Little brothers don’t count here; that’s an entirely different dynamic.) Sam had Dean watching his back, and I’m willing to bet that Dean’s big brotherness made it hard for anyone, even Bobby, to step in and fill a protective role for the younger Winchester.

So Bobby didn’t try to get in between them. He didn’t have to. He knew Sam was being taken care of. So he made sure he took care of Dean, even if the kid probably put on a front and protested and made Bobby’s life a living hell for it (you even see this with the phone call between Dean and Bobby at the end of tonight’s episode). 

(And quite honestly, I think that might be why I love Dean just a teensy bit more, and I really truly do love Sam. But I’m an older sibling, and while I know my younger siblings have my back, just like Sam has Dean’s, it’s  _different._  I feel more  _responsible_  for my siblings than I know they do for me. It just comes with the territory. And, as a teacher, I get it from a parental-ish point of view: the kids I have a soft spot for are my Deans. I love my Sams, don’t get me wrong, but the Deans are the ones I remember and usually end up forming more of a connection with, probably because those connections take  _work_  but are so so worth it in the end.)

Ok, so back to tonight’s episode. 

On the surface, Bobby’s the pessimist. Dean’s not lying when he said Bobby and Rufus would be Grumpy Old Men of Letters. If Grumpland were a place, Bobby would be King. And Dean would be the heir apparent.

But Bobby and Dean are incredibly layered characters. Bobby’s Papa Bear. As much as we all loved hearing Rufus say it, we all knew it. He’s a softie under that beard and mangy baseball hat.

Dean, interestingly, is our optimist? Idealist? He’s the heart. (I’m always reminded of the  _Buffy_  episode where the Scooby Gang joins together in a spell and Xander represents the heart. Same kind of idea. Oh, and that spell was a very very vague inspiration for “[Saving Cas](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F6178756%2Fchapters%2F14156437&t=Y2FiMmEwNDQ2YmY4Y2NlOGFmZGM1YTFkZDA2OGQ1MmE3MzA2ZTcwMSx0ZDFzSUVlZA%3D%3D&b=t%3AEfhZx9mrbYIhxW5MNPXDUQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fgrey2510.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F141581836823%2Fidjits-spn-11x16&m=1)”.) 

It’s like when Cas says in 6x20, “And the worst part was Dean, trying so hard to be loyal, with every instinct telling him otherwise.”

No matter how much Dean bitches and moans and grumps, he still has faith. Not in God. Not in the angels in general. Not in himself. 

In Cas.

Dean, despite everything, has faith in Cas. And he always has, even when things get really shitty between them, “Because,” as Sam says in 8.22, “it’s Cas.”

Now, whether you ship Destiel or not, you can’t deny that Dean and Cas are close and rely on each other. Dean, in this season, is ironically the optimist. He believes that Cas should be saved, that he wants to be saved, that there is a way to save Cas.

Because, like Bobby, Dean sure as shit ain’t listening to the oldest hunting rule in the book.

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	11. 11x17: Red Meat

Whew. What a ride. It’s been awhile since I really felt that edge-of-my-seat during an episode of SPN. I was actually  _shocked_  when I looked at the clock and realized there were only ten minutes left.

I don’t really have a lot of analysis, but some thoughts:

  1. Dean’s red shirt of pain. Yeah, you know what you’re getting into whenever you see that shirt. (And it’s too bad because that’s a good color on him.) There’s a  _Star Trek_  joke in there somewhere, but considering the Winchesters never die permanently…
  2. Speaking of dying permanently… You know you’re watching SPN when you’re no longer really concerned with a Winchester dying for good but are more concerned with what changes death will bring to that character (ex: a demon? a werewolf? a spirit? something entirely different and terrible? a terrible suicidal deal for the other brother? I’m just spit-balling here.) 
  3. Sam is a Chuckdamn  _beast_. Like, holy shit, I think sometimes we forget, with that floppy hair and those puppy dog eyes, that that man is 6′4″ of fucking badass. How many werewolves did he take out like it was nothing while practically dead?? And his appearance at the hospital??
  4. The civilian couple: Worst. Honeymoon. Ever. All things considered, though, she was pretty cool for a definite non-hunter thrown into an awful situation. And I really liked her scenes with Dean, especially at the end.
  5. Billie! She’s awesome. I hope they do more with her character.
  6. And seriously, I don’t think I’ll ever get over how good of an actor Jensen Ackles is. From the bunker scenes, to his scenes over Sam’s body, to the conversation with the woman at the end…just all of it. Not that Jared Padalecki isn’t a good actor either (and when you consider how many different roles he’s played on the show, it’s amazing how versatile he is), but I dunno why, but Jensen’s performances usually just get to me.
  7. Arc-wise: WTF has Amara been doing? Like, everyone keeps saying she’s terrible and awful, but seriously what has she been doing all fucking season? At least during the Apocalypse, even if we didn’t see Luficer, we heard about the Horsemen, or the ridiculous storms, etc. Ok, so we’re gonna see her in the next episode(s), but holy crap has it been awhile since she’s had any real impact on the story.
  8. Obligatory Destiel commentary: “I just watched the man I love die. There’s no normal after that.” Two obvious interpretations for parallels: a) Sam (Wincest shippers, eat your hearts out). But Wincest aside, Dean does love Sam as a brother, there’s no denying that. And the whole episode was about Dean dealing with Sam dying. Again. But… b) Cas. The episode opens up with the brothers researching and Dean is reluctant to do anything except look for ways to save Cas. He’s drinking more, which we see at the bar. He’s obviously upset – and more upset than Sam. It’s like S7 or S8 pre-Cas’ return all over again. Cas has in many ways “died” this season, and Dean doesn’t know how to get him back, but he’s determined to try. And there is no normal (well, no Winchester level normal) for Dean unless  _both_  Cas and Sam are ok (because remember kids, it’s ok to love more than one person in your life and you can love people differently!). 
  9. The werewolf guy “killing” Sam to save his wife. Parallel for Cas saying yes to Lucifer? Btw, they better not fucking kill Cas off.



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	12. Hell's Angel (11x18)

also known as “CAS?!” - Dean (and me)

Alright, there was a lot going on this episode, so I’m going break up my comments by character. 

First up:  **ROWENA**

\- I was so excited to see Rowena back (although I still think it would have been cool if she were a demon after spending some quality time in Hell), and this is really saying something because when she was first introduced in S10, I was like ugh. But Rowena has become a cool character and I think she’s got a lot of untapped potential as a villain (seriously, demon witch trying to become Queen of Hell! How is that not the storyline???).

\- What I didn’t like: the whole alignment with Amara thing. Dean explained it (and I think this is what the show intends) that she’s playing the odds: Lucifer didn’t pan out, Amara’s her next chance, and then she realizes how bad of an idea that is and sides with TFW+Crowley. But here’re my issues with that: 

  1. Crowley already did the whole “hey, I’m gonna be Amara’s buddy thing” and it didn’t work out – and I didn’t like that plotline with Crowley, either, but I’ll get to that in a minute. Why have Rowena try it?
  2. When Rowena sided with Lucifer, she did it because she wanted Amara gone, too. Seriously, I still don’t get how both Rowena and Crowley could think that Amara could bring anything BUT destruction  _which would include them_ (which is the same reason as why Crowley wanted to get rid of Lucifer back in S5). 
  3. Rowena should be sizing up which of the three Big Bads (five, if you count the Winchesters, from her POV) she has the best chance of beating and planning to eliminate the others first. Amara and Lucifer, she doesn’t have a shot against on her own, even if she gets rid of one. Rowena’s best bet for power is to get Crowley and TFW and whoever else to help her defeat the two of them, and then the McLeods can duel it out later for the throne of Hell; Rowena’s odds are better against Crowley (though my money is still on him), and she’s got to know this.
  4. Rowena is smarter than this. I only hope that her Amara bestie time was part of a more elaborate double-cross.



 

Next up:  **CROWLEY**

\- Crowley, large and in charge and sassy as fuck is my favorite kind of Crowley. Don’t get me wrong, the trailer we saw with him being all depressed talking to that random kid is funny, but that’s not what I want for this character in the long run.

\- Like with Rowena, I didn’t like Crowley’s attempts to buddy up with Amara, and I’m glad that Crowley is finally on Team “Let’s get rid of Lucifer and Amara so we can go back to threatening and trying to kill each other like normal demons/humans” with the Winchesters because he’s too smart for that other bullshit. Crowley is a highly intelligent character, possibly the most intelligent character on the show. In my mind, Crowley  _always wins_ , even when it doesn’t appear that he’s winning. (The fact that he’s still alive and the Winchesters never really seem to take killing him all that seriously tells you a lot.) And you know what? I think Crowley  _likes_  the fact that the Winchesters underestimate him. Sure, maybe Crowley has “gone soft” as Dean says back in S10, but as a strategy, going off everyone’s radar seems to be working. Crowley’s more about the long con than the short con. 

\- Crowley trying to convince Castiel to boot Lucifer: Crowley and Cas have always had a strange relationship (see S6), but I think in many ways, they respect each other as adversaries, even if they don’t like each other. I think Crowley was genuinely, or at least, as genuinely as he can be, bothered by Cas’ resignation and defeatism, and not just because Crowley wants to defeat Lucifer. Unfortunately, Crowley’s pep talk wasn’t enough to convince Cas; Crowley isn’t the person Cas needs a pep talk from – and I think we all know who that person is. 

[(Also, for a (lot of) hot second(s) during this episode, I thought my fic was going to get completely Kripked.)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F6178756%2Fchapters%2F14156437&t=YmYwNWZjNmJiMzdiMDY5MzU5NjFjOGI3Y2JkYWZlZDM2ZDE5MTUyNixudVExUllQZw%3D%3D&b=t%3AEfhZx9mrbYIhxW5MNPXDUQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fgrey2510.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F142385040518%2Fhells-angel-11x18&m=1)

 

Speaking of… **DEAN AND CAS**

Oh Chuck where to begin…

\- Dean, honey, you’re breaking my heart. This season has really been giving me 6x20 “Man Who Would Be King” and S8 vibes, how Dean is just  _so_  determined to save Cas and believe that Cas still wants to be with them. 

\- Maybe the writers were trying to imply Amara with Mildred’s “pining for someone else” line back in 11x11, but I think this episode shot that down. Sure, you could read this as me having a shipper bias, but  _c’mon_ , can we count how many times Dean desperately called out for Cas? Or how Dean, once again, is the Winchester more concerned with saving Cas, sacrifice and choice be damned? Or how about the fact that Dean, who is not generally known for his Latin skills, is the one who did the summoning? Or how Cas’ asked specifically if it was  _Dean_  who wanted him to come home? Or, possibly most importantly, if you want to take the shipper goggles off and take Cas out of the equation as much as possible,  _Dean and Amara had absolutely NO connection this episode._  Like, she gave him a quick glance as she was surveying the whole scene, he looked scared (probably because she just stormed in and because she was approaching Casifer, which means Cas is in danger), and that was it. Nothing. So much for their bond.

\- Yes, Dean. Let’s bring that idiot home. (Also, Dean’s like five years, max, from becoming Bobby 2.0 and saying idjit instead. Someone get that man a mangy baseball cap and a beard.)

 

Now it’s time for  **SAM, CAS, AND LUCIFER**

\- Saaaaaaaaaaaaaam. Whyyyyyyyyyy. Ok, so in my post on “Safe House” (Btw, is anyone else having issues getting links to posts? I can only get the dashboard side pane version.), I talked about how Sam is the realist of the group, and this episode  _really_  brought that home. Sam saw that Lucifer might be their best option, as much as it sucks, and Cas’ vessel (interesting how Sam and Crowley both made the vessel distinction whereas to Dean it’s just Cas) might be part of that plan and a necessary sacrifice.

\- Somewhat related character study while we’re on the topic of Sam the Realist: Sam is such an interesting contradiction. On the surface, he’s the people person: interviews, let’s talk about our feelings, etc. And yet, he’s logical and ruthless, far more than Dean. (Consider S6 Soulless!Sam: even without a soul, that was still, undeniably,  _Sam_ , just Sam’s base instincts emphasized.) Sam is a good guy, don’t get me wrong, but there’s a part of me that wonders how much of Sam’s “people skills” are actually more learned behaviors that will get him what he wants/needs. Need to crack a case? Talk to the witnesses and get them to open up to you. Need your brother to snap out of whatever funk he’s in so he can be a better hunter? Needle him to talk about his feelings, even if he doesn’t want to. I’m not saying that Sam doesn’t care, because I honestly think he cares a  _lot_ , but I don’t think it’s quite as natural to him as he would have you believe. (Also consider: Sam is very good about getting  _other_  people to talk, but how much does he actually talk about himself??) Dean is the exact opposite: he’s naturally a people person who pretends to be a grumpy misanthrope. But let’s face it, Dean can charm practically anyone’s pants off and there’s a reason he’s the one who connects so well with kids and has more friends over the course of the series (even if they’re all dead…. ugh). 

\- Sam, how are you not more worried about  _Lucifer_? Yeah, sure, Cas made a choice, but  _there’s a reason you didn’t make the same choice._  You literally had that conversation with Lucifer in the Limbo Cage. Why is it suddenly ok for Cas to make that choice and risk letting Lucifer destroy the world once Amara’s gone?

\- I’m glad Sam’s on Dean’s side about Cas now. I liked their conversation at the end and how Sam practically apologized to Dean. Why? Because Sam’s words earlier hurt Dean because  _Cas is more important to Dean._  That’s the kind of conversation I (real-me) would have with my (real-life) sibling about my (real-life) sibling-in-law, if they were in trouble, not the one I’d have with my sibling if my/our mutual friend were in trouble.

 

And finally… **GOD’S FAVORITE**

\- First of all, I think it’s awesome that Dean’s the one who pointed out the “Chosen by God” theory about why the Hand of God didn’t work when used by Lucifer. Smart Dean is the best Dean.

\- Amara calls Lucifer God’s favorite, and then proceeds to torture him in hopes her brother will show up. I’m pretty sure, though, that if God shows up to stop this torturing session, it’s going to have more to do with the angel He has  _chosen_  to keep bringing back from the dead, not the one He cast out of Heaven.

 

Miscellaneous note:

\- MISHA! It was fantastic seeing Mark P. in this episode, not only because he’s awesome, but because it made it so clear just how good Misha is at playing Mark P.’s version of Lucifer. 

 

Can’t wait to see what the rest of the season brings. :)

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	13. 11x19: All The Gay

Yes, that’s officially the title of this episode. I have decided. My word is law.

First things first, though:

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Cicadas/bugs+pregnant alien egg thingies=fuck no

But kudos to Nancy Won for coming up with a good creepy episode that also had a lot of great characterization and introspection.

 

Alrighty, what we’ve all been waiting for: ALL THE GAY. HUNTER HUSBANDS!

Let’s talk parallels:

**1) 5x09 “The Real Ghostbusters” and 8x23 “Sacrifice” – gay couples, stereotypes, and Dean’s reactions.**

I’m not going to spend too much time analyzing these two episodes because there are people who have done such a wonderful job on them already. But just as a refresher:

In 5x09, Dean and Sam meet Damien and Barnes, who tell Dean at the end that they’re (romantic) partners. Granted, Dean is a little taken aback at the information, but I believe, and others have argued, that his surprise is more due to the fact that Damien and Barnes have spent the entire day/night pretending to be Sam and Dean, who are  _brothers_. I don’t think he was taken aback or bothered by their relationship in general. I would be totally weirded out if I found out people who were pretending to be me and my sister were actually dating in real life, and not because ew gay (obviously) but because ew that’s my sister. 

In 8x23, Dean and Cas go to a bar to get the Cupid’s bow, and despite Dean’s comment that the scene starts out like every porno he’s ever seen, it takes a turn that surprises him: it’s not the delivery girl who’s going to be matched up with the bartender…it’s the other flannel-wearing, beard-sporting, beer-drinking guy who’s a regular at the bar. Here, Dean has a very very clear example of how it’s possible to be gay/bi/not-straight AND very traditionally masculine. These two men go against practically every stereotype there is, and they’re very much of the same ilk as Dean.

11x19 does the same thing: Jesse and Cesar aren’t flamboyant, they’re not effeminate,  _they don’t fit the stereotypes_. Not that there’s anything wrong with being flamboyant or effeminate! But Dean doesn’t fit that mold, and so he needs to see examples of guys that are  _just like him_  and  _comfortable_  and  _happy_  before he can start to see himself in that regard.    

(It probably also doesn’t hurt to know that there are others in the hunter community that would be tolerant and accepting.)

**2) 11x04 “Baby”**

Once again, the themes of the “Baby” episode are woven into the characters and arcs. Sam’s conversation about settling down with someone in the life is brought up  _explicitly_  and almost word for word by….DEAN.

Dean, of course, is completely oblivious to Jesse and Cesar’s relationship until they spell it out for him. But, unlike with Damien and Barnes when he gets uncomfortable and is just like uhhhhhh that’s nice *awkwardly walks away*, here, he actually asks what it’s like to settle down with someone in the life. Obviously what Sam said to him has been turning over in the back of Dean’s mind, even if he’d scoffed when Sam initially brought it up because he’s Dean and that’s what Dean does. Dean is genuinely interested, and quite frankly, there’s only one person who’s even a remotely viable candidate for Dean these days.

**3) Sam and Matty**

On the surface, it would be really easy to draw parallels between Dean and Matty and Sam and Jesse, and yes, those parallels definitely exist: Dean and Matty are the older brothers, they want to protect their younger brothers, etc.

But what’s interesting about Sam and Jesse’s conversation is when Jesse explains what makes a good brother. Sure, there’s the protective side of it, but he also says that Matty accepted Jesse for who he was (especially when no one else did). Sam instantly internalizes that, almost as if he’s received instructions on how to be a good brother to Dean. 

Yes, we’ve also seen Dean be the Matty to Sam: Sam’s psychic powers, role as Lucifer’s vessel, etc. But, this season, Dean is the one who needs acceptance.

For instance, Sam had to reassure Dean that he understands that the super icky messed up bond with Amara is just that: super icky and messed up and not Dean’s choice. 

More importantly, however, Sam has been the one constantly picking his brother up emotionally when it comes to Cas this season. (Because, speaking of parallels and motifs, don’t forget that Dean is pining for someone loud enough that kickass women like Mildred notice and point it out.) 

How many times have they had that same conversation that we saw in the bunker? (I’m not complaining, just unable to count that high. Numbers aren’t my thing and I’m tired, ok?) Dean not taking care of himself, Dean constantly researching (and you know things are bad when Dean would rather hit the books…not that Dean’s dumb or bad at research by any stretch of the imagination, but Sam seems to actually enjoy it more; Dean does it because it’s a means to an end), Sam reassuring Dean that they’ll get Cas back, Sam trying to get Dean to take his mind off of Cas so that he doesn’t sink into a pit of emotional despair (also known as the Winchester OS)… It’s a huge motif this season, and it’s  _never_  Sam that’s more concerned about Cas. Not because he doesn’t care about Cas, but because unless the writers are going for an epic fake-out and are planning a Sastiel reveal, I’m 99.99% sure Sam doesn’t have romantic feelings towards Cas. 

This is Sam being accepting of Dean, the only way he knows how, and I think the conversation with Jesse really cemented just how important that is in a brother relationship. 

The fact that Jesse is also pretty clearly referring to Matty’s acceptance of his sexuality is hugely important, since if Dean ever decides to rejoin reality from Narnia and follow his little bisexual heart, he’s going to need Sam to accept him and reassure him. Which, of course, Sam would obviously do. But the fact that the writers gave us  _this_  specific example to create a parallel for Sam suggests that this is a real issue that Sam will have to deal with in the near future.

And maybe Sam will decide to step up his game and will re-enact that lovely fic trope, Sam Ships It?

**4) Not a parallel, but HUNTERS, ASSEMBLE!**

I was super excited when they suggested that they ask Jesse and Cesar to help out with the Darkness. They were cool characters and I would love to see them back on the show. (While we’re adding to the hunter dream team, I’d like to put in a request for Eileen because she’s awesome on her own and she’s awesome as Sam’s potential “someone in the life”…sorry, I just really love the idea of Sam/Eileen.)

I get why Dean doesn’t ask them, though: Jesse and Cesar are getting out of the life, and Dean can’t take that away from them. He and Sam both know how hard that is, and how few hunters get their revenge and are able to walk away and build something new for their lives. It’s not all that different to how they let Garth go, even though he’s a werewolf: Garth found love, he found a home, and that’s worth “hanging up [one’s] spurs”, as Jesse and Cesar said.

But…maybe they can come back still? Please?

**5) The Revenge and Retiring Motifs**

Revenge has always been such a central part of this show, stemming all the way back to the Pilot with Mary’s death, and this whole season is about an even older revenge arc: Amara and God. Crowley, Rowena, and Lucifer also have their revenge arcs this season, as does Cas when it comes to Metatron and, well,  _everyone_  because Cas has gotten shit on for such a long time.  

But, we’ve also now had two hunters introduced that want revenge for deaths of family members and are then either unsure of what to do next or are ready to quit: Eileen and Jesse. (And, if we wanted to go back to S10, we could bring Cole into this conversation, too.) Eileen and Jesse are asking, and sometimes answering, the questions that the Winchesters want to ask: what do we do next? If we save the world again, can we be done? Is there such thing as done?

Cas has also been asked these kinds of questions many many times over the past two seasons: what’s next? Heaven? Earth? Angel? Human? Can he have what he wants or what will make him happy? Will there ever be an end to the shit storm?

So much of this season has an air of finality to it, and I have a feeling the writers/producers/everyone probably figured S11 would be the end. Mark on  _Mark Watches_ says in his review of 11x16, [“I think season eleven of this show is, for better or for worse, about nostalgia.”](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fmarkwatches.net%2Freviews%2F2016%2F03%2Fmark-watches-supernatural-s11e16-safe-house%2F&t=MTcxYjc0MTQ2MmYyMmZkNzExNjRmNGNmYjY4ZTFmMWIzNTBkM2VlNCxoYzA0TFB5OA%3D%3D&b=t%3AEfhZx9mrbYIhxW5MNPXDUQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fgrey2510.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F143513193908%2F11x19-all-the-gay&m=1) I don’t always agree with everything in Mark’s reviews, although they are generally a good and thought-provoking read, but in this case, he’s completely right: Lucifer, Bobby and Rufus flashbacks, Chuck, etc.

It makes me really wonder how this season is going to end and where they’re going to go from here. Although I’m a little concerned that getting a twelfth season might mean they drag things out too long (like the Mark of Cain arc), I’m still super excited to see where this story goes. :)

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	14. OH MY CHUCK (11x20)

In the words of Charlie Bradbury, that was some meta madness.

1) METATRON: Ok, usually when a character does a complete 180 it feels awkward and forced. But here, Curtis Armstrong and Robbie Thompson did it right. Up until this point, I would argue that only four angels knew a whole lot about humanity: Anna, Metatron, Gabriel, and Castiel. Anna fell and lived as a human. Gabriel peaced out from Heaven and had been among humans causing a ruckus for years. Cas was kind of a latecomer to the getting to know humanity game, but he’s probably the most in touch these days. Metatron  _knew_  a lot, thanks to all the reading he did, but like Gabriel and Castiel (up until recently, in the latter’s case), he  _understood_  very little. Now, as a fallen angel, his perspective has changed, to a degree. He fed a starving dog even when he was starving himself. Does this absolve him from all of his douchebaggery? Chuck no. But, a lot of his accusations at God would never have happened if he hadn’t spent some time slumming it with the mortals. True, many of them are still extremely selfish, but I think that’s why this episode doesn’t feel like it’s out of character for Metatron.  

Good job, Curtis and Robbie, for making me actually root for Metatron. (But I still kinda hate him like a lot.)

2) CHUCK: Oh man, Rob Benedict, I love you. In that opening scene it’s all fun and games (let’s make fun of “Bugs”!, etc.), and then all of sudden Chuck is GOD in every sense of the name. Rob’s got this interesting, quiet intensity to him as he plays God!Chuck–he is  _not_  just the twitchy drunk writer of the Apocalypse. If I were Metatron, I would have been shitting my pants.

Some other thoughts, particularly on Chuck’s dating life: 

\- God is bi/pan. Yes, we already had Godstiel say that God is utterly indifferent to sexual orientation but it was never clear if those were God’s views or Cas’ views. Not only that, but having God openly state that he has dated men and women is different than just saying “yeah, I’m cool with it if  _other_  people do it”. (Ps. Cas and Dean: God’s leading by example! And even if it’s not a gender thing, Mr. Wave of Celestial Intent, we now canonically have references to relationships between humans and a celestial being…that are approved…by GOD.)

\- Soooo this is how many characters this season who are openly not straight? Beyond representation, anyone else hoping there’s a purpose to this, perhaps narratively? *winkwinknudgenudge*

\- I don’t really like Becky, especially not after the weirdness of S7, but can we bring her back now that Chuck is finally established as God? Becky, the hapless obsessive fangirl, dated God  _and broke up with him._  You can’t tell me that there isn’t material there.

Final thoughts on Chuck:

\- Chuck explicitly linking Cas with the Winchesters, saying that he has saved the brothers and brought Cas back many times. Oh and Chuck never did say who his favorite of the angels was… (and I did like that he said that Lucifer wasn’t the villain. Or at least, he wasn’t  _supposed_  to be the villain–I don’t think we can ignore that he became one)

\- Chuck saying that his body/face is a gift. This line made me crack up–not because it isn’t true, but because there’s something just so wonderful about how  _indignant_  and  _insulted_  he was!

\- Rob Benedict singing at the end: yes please. Excellent song choice, too, and so fitting with the themes of the season.

3) SAM AND DEAN: Usually when an episode is kinda Winchester-lite, I’m not too happy, but this time, I’m ok. In an episode that explicitly referred back to previous episodes, I thought it was cool that the Sam and Dean plot was like a callback to “Croatoan” and “Jus in Bello”. And because of that, we didn’t really need to spend as much time with the Winchesters because we could fill in the details on our own. Instead, we could focus on the myth arc elements.

However, my biggest complaint to this part of the episode is that there was absolutely  _no_  reference to the Holy Oil cure that Sam figured out at the beginning of the season. Yeah, ok, I get that the fog was moving in fast, but as soon as they saw the picture of the guy with the black infection veins, why weren’t they carrying jugs of Holy Oil around? Like, I don’t want to be the Monday Morning Quarterback, but isn’t that kind of an obvious move?

Lastly, SAMULET. YAY!

(Oh, and I seriously seriously seriously hope that Dean tries to punch Chuck in the face next episode because that’s been my headcanon of what would happen for a long time.)

 

I feel like there’s a lot more to say about this episode, but it probably needs a rewatch to unpack further.

Also, the promo for next week looks awesome!

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* * *

* * *

 

http://markwatches.net/reviews/2016/05/mark-watches-supernatural-s11e20-dont-call-me-shurley/

“There’s a stunning sequence where Metatron, tears dripping down his face, relates the power of God simply choosing Metatron, even if the choice itself was meaningless. It wasn’t meaningless to Metatron, of course, and that’s the point. God has a power to give light and love to people by simply choosing them.

So what does it say when God chooses no one?”

  
Really good review/analysis of the episode. You should check it out.

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	15. 11x21: I so miss being an atheist

In which Donatello is me if I were ever to become a prophet. (Except, I’d probably say I was named after the Ninja Turtle.)

 

I have mixed feelings about this episode. Like, I was on board for about 90% of it, but it just didn’t stick the landing. Then again, Bucklemming following up an absolutely superb Robbie Thompson episode = my standards were way too high.

So here goes:

**1) Plot holes?**  Why did Chuck say that Amara is warded against him, seeing as her  _entire plot this season is to find God?_  The only rational explanation I can think of is that this is another case of Chuck playing his cards close to the chest and avoiding confronting her by making up some dumb excuse. Then again, Bucklemming.

**2) KEVIN.** Kevin finally gets to go to Heaven and be at peace. AHHHHH. I want more of Kevin, but it was great to see his character get some closure.

**3) JENSEN FREAKING ACKLES.** You, sir, deserve all the awards. You absolutely made the right choice by going with the tears instead of the anger. Sure, I’d always kind of pictured Dean trying to punch God in the face, but fuck, this was so much better. And by better, I mean utterly heartbreaking. 

Parallel-wise, I think that scene also made a nice call back to 10x16 “Paint it Black” and the confession scene (also written by Bucklemming). Yes, we give these writers crap, and deservedly so, but these were two well-written scenes. Then again, I think that these scenes are even more than what was on the page originally because of Jensen Ackles. The confession scene was probably meant to be raw and honest, and man, did Jensen deliver there. The difference between that scene and this one, though, is that we know that this was definitely a  _choice_  on his part, and that Jensen knew the obvious choice would be Dean’s anger. Yeah, that would have still worked. If Jensen had gone that route, we all would have just nodded and be like “yep, sounds about right,” and moved on. But, the emotion that Jensen brought to Dean’s confrontation with Chuck? That’s not on the page, and I seriously doubt Bucklemming envisioned that when they wrote it.  _Dean almost brought God to tears._  

Speaking of parallels with 10x16: “I don’t think he believes in us.” - Dean vs. “I’ve always had faith in you.” - Chuck

**4) LET’S NOT FORGET JARED PADALECKI.** And Sam’s quiet during this scene? His reluctance to make eye contact with Chuck as Dean bared his soul? There’s so much to unpack in that silence. Sam agreeing completely with Dean. Sam seeing just how much pain his brother is in. Sam feeling confused over wanting to fanboy over God and feeling like this guy is a total jerk. Ugh.

**5) “I know you had a tough upbringing, but don’t confuse me with your father.”** (Apologies for any errors in the direct quote; I’m doing this from memory.) This line stung. A lot. And I think it really emphasizes just how much Chuck  _doesn’t get it._  God may be all knowing, but he’s not all understanding. There is a HUGE difference. 

I don’t think Dean was equating God and John at all in this scene. Dean is blaming God for every shitty thing that has happened in his life. Yes, that includes his upbringing by John. Yes, Dean long ago recognized that John was “an obsessed bastard” and that there is definitely plenty of blame for Papa Winchester. 

But that’s not what Dean was getting at here.

John was an obsessed bastard because of what happened to Mary.

Mary died because she made a crap deal with Azazel after watching everyone she loved died.

Everyone she loved died because of Azazel and the angels.

Azazel and the angels were duking it out because of the whole jump start the Apocalypse plan.

The Apocalypse was  _God’s_  plan, and it was the only plan that he left behind for the angels to follow. (And 99.99% of the angels missed the boat on the whole “save the humans” and “free will” thing, so….yeah.)

_Everything is God’s fault._

This does not absolve John of all his faults. My point is, that’s not what Dean was trying to get across. Dean’s beef with Chuck isn’t misplaced daddy issues. Dean’s beef with Chuck is the fact that God is the reason he has shitty daddy issues in the first place. 

And even more than that, Dean is the representative of humanity (which I’ll also discuss in a minute). Dean’s beef with Chuck is the fact that if there’s anyone out there who has suffered,  _it’s ultimately God’s fault._

**6) Dean and the margarita.**  What a crappy looking margarita. I’d be upset, too, Dean. (Also, there’s no need for top shelf tequila in a margarita. That’s a waste of good booze. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you should use shitty tequila because there is a difference, but the house brand is usually fine. Not that I enjoy a good margarita or anything…)  

**7) Park benches.**  I absolutely love that Dean and Chuck’s second talk is at a playground, mirroring Dean and Cas’ conversation in 4x07 “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester.” Dean, again, the advocate for humanity. The celestial being…well. That’s complicated. This is where Cas first confessed he wasn’t just a hammer, that he had begun to have doubts. Here, the scene is flipped: Chuck starts off talking about how awesome humans are, then retreats further and further into his refusal to do anything. Also, can we get a shout out to  **ROB BENEDICT**  for being able to switch from hapless Chuck to divine wrath in an instant? Like, when Dean first calls him out on the park bench and he stops eating the popcorn and looks up, it’s like OH SHIT THAT’S GOD.

Oh, and again, Jensen absolutely killed it in this scene.

**8) “I don’t understand how dying is a blueprint for success.”**  Yes. This is an actual line from Dean “I’ll sacrifice my life 1000x” Winchester. We literally  _just had this plot line in 11x17._ But maybe he’s finally learning that this is not going to work?

Or, knowing Dean, he thinks this rule applies to everyone but him because he’s not worth saving in the first place.

**9) “Others that are the chosen.”**  WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THIS, CHUCK? Is this going to be a thing in S12???

**10) God in the bunker.**  “He takes really longs showers. And sings. I had to tell him to cool it.” “You told God to cool it?” “Yeah, I sleep.” “Is that my robe?” “You eat bacon?!” So much gold in this scene. 

One thing I could have done without, though: the Dean and porn bit. Unless Chuck’s gonna make a comment about some of the less than straight porn Dean’s got stashed away, I don’t care and it’s a tired joke. 

**11) Dean and Donatello.**  Ok, we all knew he was gonna make a TMNT reference. On the one hand, that’s so Dean. On the other, it could have been written differently so that he didn’t come across as completely ignorant of the real Donatello. Dean’s not an idiot.

**12) Donatello.**  I actually kind of really like our new prophet. And I think it made complete sense that he wasn’t part of Crowley’s rounded up next gen prophets, until they tried to retcon it and made Crowley look dumb. Seriously, this is a prophet and  _God_  is back in the picture. They could have retconned it the same way the did the Samulet: God decided there should be a new prophet, and so there’s a new prophet. So spaketh the Lord.

**13) No mention of the Samulet??**  I really want that conversation between the brothers.

**14) Metatron the human.** Metatron bugging the crap out of Dean via text. Bahaha. What is it with angels and emojis? Also, Metatron trying to steal Sam’s beer!

**15) Dean and Amara.**  EW. UGH. I’m just so glad that Dean consistently is like “NO THIS IS NOT HAPPENING.” 

And the “aroused” line? That did  _not_  need to happen. That was just weird. And you could kinda tell that Emily was uncomfortable with it. I don’t like it from Dean’s POV for obvious reasons, and I also don’t like it from a character development POV for Amara. To me, it just reduces her potential badassery (which has been seriously wasted) by tying her to a human. Don’t get me wrong, Dean Winchester is a  _damn_  fine specimen of humanity, but Amara shouldn’t need Dean. 

**16) Speaking of humanity…**  “Give up your humanity.” Um, Amara, what show  you been watching?

**17) Amara noticing that Dean’s distracted.**  …because he’s thinking about the Casifer rescue mission  ~~and how Cas has been tortured and he just wants that precious cinnamon role home again?~~  …oh, no, it’s about God. 

Whatever.

Narratively, that kind of makes sense? But not really? We know that if Dean’s distracted during his confrontation with Amara, it’s got very little to do with God and everything to do with the fact that he set himself up as bait so that his brother could go rescue his best friend/whateveritiswe’recallingCas (yes, it’s technically Casifer, but we know that Dean’s only interested in saving Lucifer to defeat Amara and because he wants Cas back). 

**18) The rescue mission.**  Can we talk for a minute about how  _Sam_  had to rescue  _Lucifer?_  Like, how much must have that fucked up Sam? (I’m not a Samifer shipper, so…I can’t see anything good happening here.)

**19) Metatron took one for the team????**  WHAT? I never thought I’d say this, but I don’t want him gone.

**20) Baby.**  Sammy, be good to Baby, driving her like that. And how was there not a scene of Dean being super pissed that Baby’s in the bunker? 

**21) God and Lucifer’s reunion.**  I WANT MORE OF THIS. Ugh, they both looked so broken.

**22) But, can we have Lucifer in a different vessel now?**  I miss Cas. And Dean does, too. EVEN IF THEY BARELY MENTIONED IT THIS EPISODE. Seriously, Dean only gave a passing reference to saving Cas this time around, and I really would have thought Dean would’ve brought up saving Cas from Lucifer with Chuck. 

**23) …and a taxi for the prophet?**  That’s where we leave off? This is what I mean by this episode not sticking the landing. I think it would have been more powerful if it had ended with God and Lucifer’s reunion, kind of a “To Be Continued” situation. The broment at the end was meh and felt tacked on…and too familiar (which is saying something, considering this show). I want more about what’s  _new_. Or at least a teaser that that’s what we’ll be dealing with next.

 

Now I have to wait a week. :(

[spn season 11](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-11) [spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [spn season 11 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-11-reviews) [Destiel](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/Destiel) [11x21](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/11x21)   



	16. 11x22: We Happy Few (Part 1)

….what?

That was…interesting, I guess. I dunno…I felt like there were a lot of points that fell super flat, but I’ll try to include some analysis and positives, too.

**> LUCIFER THE WHINY TEENAGER AND THE WINCHESTERS AS DR. PHIL: **Ok, while there were parts of this that were amusing about Lucifer and Chuck’s reconciliation with Dean and Sam playing therapists, this isn’t really what I wanted. Dean and Sam have played the Dr. Phil card for more powerful beings in an episode that was even called, “Shut Up Dr. Phil”, but those two witches were small fries compared to the epic cosmic problems of Lucifer and Satan. Granted, it’s not the first time Lucifer’s been compared to a whiny teenager (Death himself said Lucifer was a brat way back in S5), but this was just….over the top. This is fucking  _Satan,_  and you’re going to literally have him lock himself in Sam’s room and play loud music? Even Claire, an  _actual teenager_  isn’t quite  _that_  bad (though she has her moments…but again… _actual teenager_ ). And Dean and Sam’s comedy routine? Again, we’ve seen it done before, and to me, it really took away from the emotional weight Lucifer and Chuck’s scene  _could_ have had and  _should_  have had. I was far less moved by their scenes than I was by Dean and Chuck’s scenes last episode, which made Lucifer’s “go team!” attitude harder to swallow.

**> WHAT’S GOING ON WITH SAM?** Seriously, how has the show successfully managed to completely drop the whole “Sam is terrified of Lucifer, and rightfully so” arc? Ok, sure, in this episode he says that he can’t believe he’s actually agreeing with Lucifer, but I find it hard to believe that there isn’t a hell of a lot more going on in Sam’s head when it comes to Lucifer right now.

**> DEAN AND APOLOGIES:** I know the line was written to be purposefully flippant, but something about Dean saying he basically lies to Sam all the time just irked me.

**> BIG PICTURE vs. LITTLE PICTURE:** I think it’s interesting that Chuck gets called out on not always seeing the individual effects. While Cas kind of got sidelined in this episode (despite actually appearing), the line made me think of when Dean said that to someone on Amara’s scale, Cas barely even registers. 

**> CROWLEY RECLAIMING HELL:** “Let’s make Hell great again.” As much as I love the Trump reference, I don’t think that’s a fair comparison. Crowley is 1000x better than Trump. Also, I like that the demons called Crowley out on his bullshit the last few seasons. In 10x17, Dean agreed that Crowley had gone soft, and I really haven’t liked what S11 has done with him (the Uncle Crowley to Amara plotline, etc.) because I think he is way more badass and intelligent than the most recent arcs have let him be.

**> CLEA AND THE WITCHES:** I actually really liked Clea and would have  _loved_  for her to stick around. But then they killed all the new witches off. :(

**> CAS:** I loved Cas being back to persuade the angels! Not reassured to hear him say that Lucifer is burning through his vessel. Also…does this episode mean that Cas is back?? 

**> DESTIEL vs. AMARA:** Lucifer makes a crack about Amara being Dean’s girlfriend, which Dean of course denies, but he also says, “I’m not getting into this with him.” On the surface, that makes sense: it’s  _Lucifer_. Why would Dean want to share anything personal with him? But not only that, Lucifer is wearing Cas’ face, and I don’t think Dean can look into those eyes–even if Cas isn’t looking out of them–and have this conversation. It’s been hard enough for Dean to admit to this weird compulsion and connection between him and Amara to Sam. Not only that, but Dean  _tried_  to talk with Cas about this, not realizing it was Lucifer. I’m sure this memory is extremely painful for Dean, and is definitely not helping in the guilt department. Also, I am glad that, even though it was brief, Dean once again is the one who cares what happens to Cas, even if no one else seems to.

**> ROWENA IS QUEEN:** “I’ll turn you into a moose, an actual moose.” “Sorry about everything I’ve ever done in my life.” Chuck: “I’ve been actively rooting against you for some time, but you’re one of my guilty pleasures.” 

**> NO ARCHANGELS?** Seriously…wtf?

**> RIP DONATELLO:** What a shock…you send the guy home in a taxi and he ends up dead three days later. Ugh. Bad writing.

**> SAM AND MARK OF CAIN:** On the one hand, I think it’s important to note how selfless this is of Sam, but I am SO glad that this ended up not happening. It would have just been a pointless rehash of S10 and/or the demon blood arc and I might have thrown in the towel, convinced the SPN writers had run out of ideas for a new season. I was taking notes during the episode and I think I wrote that this was stupid three or four times.

**> SHOWDOWN:** I’m not sure how I feel about the showdown. I think I’ve been fairly negative about this episode, so I’m actually going to hold off on judging this until I see how it all shakes out in the finale. Suffice to say, I wasn’t overly impressed. Or, I felt I should have been, but wasn’t.

 

[Ok, I need to split this into two posts… next up Shakespeare!](http://grey2510.tumblr.com/post/144585993433/11x22-we-happy-few-part-2)

[SPN](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/SPN) [spn season 11](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-11) [spn season 11 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-11-reviews) [Destiel](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/Destiel) [spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers)[samifer](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/samifer) [11x22](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/11x22)


	17. 11x22: We Happy Few (Part 2)

**[(Part 1)](http://grey2510.tumblr.com/post/144584559413/11x22-we-happy-few-part-1) **

**SHAKESPEARE META TIME:**

I saved this for the end because I felt it needed its own section. Keep in mind, I’m an off-duty English teacher who has been slogging through very very bad student essays (I think their brains shut off this week; their writing was so good before!), so this analysis probably isn’t going to be dissertation worthy or anything. But, here goes!

For anyone who is unfamiliar with  _Henry V_  and [the St. Crispian’s Day speech](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fshakespeare.mit.edu%2Fhenryv%2Fhenryv.4.3.html&t=YWQwMmU1NTUwYzAzYTA2MDRhNTEzMmFlNmZjOTg3OTFjYjI3YTk3MixUTndPcUR5VA%3D%3D&b=t%3AEfhZx9mrbYIhxW5MNPXDUQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fgrey2510.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F144585993433%2F11x22-we-happy-few-part-2&m=1), I suggest you read it now. (For those of you not in the know, this is the speech where the WWII series  _Band of Brothers_ got its name – and Richard Speight, Jr. is in it!) If you’re not in the mood to read Shakespeare (and I’m totally not judging you…nope, not one bit), the speech is one that Henry V gives to his troops before fighting the French at the Battle of Agincourt even though they are outnumbered. (Oh and if anyone has read/is reading [Seperis’ Down to Agincourt](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fseries%2F110651&t=NDllZDU2NjA3MTA3ZTMzNjM1ZmJlNDU2Njg3NWI2OGU2OTM3MjU0NCxUTndPcUR5VA%3D%3D&b=t%3AEfhZx9mrbYIhxW5MNPXDUQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fgrey2510.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F144585993433%2F11x22-we-happy-few-part-2&m=1)Destiel series, the title is based off of a [poem](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F2112627&t=ZWUyZjc1YjZjMmZjMDVhMDUyN2U0YThlMmM1NjBmMmYxMGM1NjQzOCxUTndPcUR5VA%3D%3D&b=t%3AEfhZx9mrbYIhxW5MNPXDUQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fgrey2510.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F144585993433%2F11x22-we-happy-few-part-2&m=1) about this battle).

This speech is generally known as the rallying speech to end all rallying speeches, and it is referenced  _constantly_  before giant battles. On a side note, one of my favorite examples is in  _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_  when Buffy gives a very terse speech before they all go off to fight a god (see any parallels?) in what was almost the show’s finale. Spike and Giles share this bit of dialogue after:

SPIKE: Well, not exactly the St. Crispin’s Day speech, was it?

GILES: We few…we happy few…

SPIKE: We band of buggered.

What’s interesting in SPN is that Chuck’s speech is kinda terrible and doesn’t have nearly the punch it needs to really rally the forces. I honestly don’t remember a single line from it, and I was taking notes during the episode. Buffy’s “speech” at least made it clear that there was no room for error and that her thoughts are entirely on protecting her sister: “Everybody knows their jobs. Remember, the ritual starts, we all die. And I’ll kill anyone who comes near Dawn.” But, I think this is intentional. Chuck  _could_  be inspiring and formidable. He’s  _GOD._  He shouldn’t need to stand up on a frankly overcompensating/overly dramatic “stage” to deliver his speech to be convincing and inspiring.

And I’ve mentioned before, Rob Benedict knows what he’s doing: he can go from Chuck to God in an instant, but here, he’s more Chuck than God. Why? Because God is still a super sketchy character. He’s not Henry V. In God we do  _not_ trust. He hasn’t earned it, so it’s no surprise his speech falls flat. It’s no wonder that Crowley, Lucifer, and Rowena start bickering right after while Sam and Dean argue about the Mark. Chuck doesn’t exactly inspire confidence and camaraderie.

In reality, Team Free Will carries the weight of the St. Crispin’s Day speech:

 

> _By Jove, I am not covetous for gold,_
> 
> _Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;_
> 
> _It yearns me not if men my garments wear;_
> 
> _Such outward things dwell not in my desires._

DEAN AND CROWLEY. First of all, I love their dynamic. [@awed-frog](https://tmblr.co/myXYn5QAGQtP3DRI5gEV77Q)had some interesting things to say about this [here](http://grey2510.tumblr.com/post/144516132683/awed-frog-thayerkerbasy-winchester11), and I think it’s completely fitting that Dean is the one that goes to Crowley (and can we talk for a minute about how Crowley constantly acts like he’s Dean’s ex? I know he says ‘bromance’, but come  _on_ , there had to be  _something_  that went on between Crowley and Deanmon, if you know what I mean). Dean makes a compelling case to Crowley: if he wants Hell and the loyalty of the demons back, he’s got to make it worth their while. Crowley’s offer of helping him achieve his own glory means nothing to the demons (especially, since they’ve seen Crowley lose that position again and again). Like Henry who says that this fight isn’t about winning him gold, Dean wants Crowley to fight for  _principles_ , or at the very least, something that benefits more than just Crowley. Also, when Dean tells Crowley that maybe he needs to remember what it was like to be a soldier, I gotta think this is reference to how Henry V dressed as a common soldier and went among his men to get a feel for their morale, undercover boss style.

 

> _That he which hath no stomach to this fight,_
> 
> _Let him depart; his passport shall be made_
> 
> _And crowns for convoy put into his purse:_
> 
> _We would not die in that man’s company_
> 
> _That fears his fellowship to die with us._

SAM AND ROWENA: I like how Sam and Rowena tend to be paired off, especially since Dean and Crowley have their…whatever that is. Sam also does a good job of playing to Rowena’s strengths and weaknesses in convincing her. Earlier, Rowena admits that she’s afraid to Clea, and she seems reluctant to join forces with the Winchesters. It’s really not until Clea says she’s in that Rowena realizes she can’t back out without losing face–and with Sam right there, waiting for a reply, she’s got no choice but to accept. Yay! Peer pressure! 

 

> _He that shall live this day, and see old age,_
> 
> _Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,_
> 
> _And say ‘To-morrow is Saint Crispian:’_
> 
> _Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars_
> 
> _And say ‘These wounds I had on Crispin’s day.’_

CAS AND THE ANGELS: The angels still don’t trust Cas, which has been an on-going theme for Cas: he is in identity limbo. What’s interesting is that the angels say they can’t separate him in their minds from Lucifer, which is not all that different from an assessment Lucifer made back in S5. What Lucifer and the angels fail to notice, though, is that these two rebelled  _for the exact opposite reasons._  Lucifer rebelled because he hated humanity, Cas because he loved it. (And I’m not going to get into the whole meta about God’s role in all of this, and Lucifer and the corruption of the Mark, etc. I’m sure someone else can do that much better justice.) Anyway, Cas’s rallying speech. Cas is ever earnest, and he admits that Lucifer as a solution isn’t ideal, that it’s literally destroying him, but he makes it clear that he didn’t say ‘yes’ to Lucifer for personal gain or to destroy the Earth or to betray them. He did it to save them, and he would do it again if he was called to. Yes, he’s asking the angels to risk themselves, but he lets them know that he’s not above suffering; he’s right in the thick of it, too. 

 

And honorable mention:

> _We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;_
> 
> _For he to-day that sheds his blood with me_
> 
> _Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile,_
> 
> _This day shall gentle his condition:_

CROWLEY, ROWENA, and LUCIFER: One of the great things about these lines is that it’s not just a rah-rah speech, but it’s also about redemption–for those who choose to go that path. Those who don’t are forgotten and can “hold their manhoods cheap” when people look back on this final battle. Crowley, Rowena, and Lucifer are flawed and not entirely trustworthy, but they’re there, they’re putting aside their differences. And maybe, this will “gentle [their] condition[s].” (Or at least, allow us to have more of a fun moral grey area to play in with these characters!)

 

I’m sure in the morning, there’ll be things I wish I said. But this will have to suffice for now. :)

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	18. 11x23: Alpha and Omega

“Hunting things? That’s only half the bumper sticker, man!” - Sam, 11x01

This finale was so different from all others, and I hate to say anticlimactic because it wasn’t. But where 11x22 was all action and fighting, this was…subdued, but in a good, mature way. People actually fucking  _talked_ and  _solved their problems without creating new ones._

All season, they’ve been setting us up that there’s a different way, and we finally saw how that can be done.

Chuck, there’s so much to unpack and I’m sure I’ll be reblogging and metaing for weeks to come, but for now, here’s a cleaned up version of my first impressions of the episode (in no particular order):

1) Sass master Crowley. Literally, I’m pretty sure Crowley only existed in this episode to not give a flying fuck and just snark at everyone. And I  _loved_ it. Favorite Crowley moment, hands down:  DEAN: “How am I gonna smuggle that in?” CROWLEY: “Well, we could shove it up your– DEAN: “Hey!” CROWLEY: “…well, we could.” Oh and did Billie and Crowley have a thing????? WHAT?????

2) I feel like Rowena was kind of underused in this episode, which is too bad because I’ve really grown to love her. Oh and her making tea for Chuck and asking TFW for a kettle…I loved this whole bit.

3) Lady Whatsherface….I just really don’t give a crap about her right now. I feel like she’s a weird mix of Victor Henrikson from way back and the Watcher’s Council in  _Buffy._  But, maybe I’m just too wrapped up in S11 to get emotionally invested in her and I’ll learn to like her character in S12 (as long as they don’t set her up with Sam or Dean because fuck that. Destiel and Saileen!!!!!! Unless…and this might be a stretch because I know exactly jackshit about guns…did she have the same kind of gun as Dean in her bag or am I making shit up? Are they related somehow??) Oh and fuck her for shooting Sam. 

4) Yeah ghostbusting! It felt so much like the earlier seasons, and I think that’s kind of perfect considering the very nostalgic tone of this season. Oh and Dean…your accents, sweetie…just, no. Oh and “say the magic word!” – ten bucks says that’s gonna spawn a whole bunch of fanfics and gifs…  Oh and “Why don’t you finish up, I’ll go piss them off.” – this reminds me of the Netflix summary of SPN, that Dean and Sam go around the country picking fights with monsters. (There’s a post floating around somewhere with this…)

5) Billie says she’s tempted to reap God. Know who else said that? Hmmm… (Because I’m still unconvinced Death is dead. I think Death got Time Lorded and Billie is his new regeneration.)

6) Dean and Cas’ Impala scene. Yeah, yeah, there was the brother line. But, you know what, I’m just fucking thrilled that Dean finally made Cas feel like he was important. I like that Dean validated Cas’ decision to say yes to Lucifer and said that Cas did something Dean and Sam couldn’t. Now, we know that Dean was completely fucked up all season by Cas’ decision to say yes, but at least he didn’t make Cas feel like even worse crap for doing it. And Cas looked so touched by Dean’s words. Maybe now, in S12, they can start to progress ~~and get out of the friendzone.~~

7) The bird lady – another retirement home reference. Hmmm…

8) Damn the fucking graveyard scene. Dean and Sam and…shit. I have a lot to say about this scene and the brothers, but I need to watch it again and let it process. For now…Favorite heart-wrenching brother moment: DEAN: “No chick flick moments?” SAM: “Yeah, you love chick flicks.” DEAN: “Yeah, you’re right, I do.” *hug* 

9) Shipper goggles (because despite the “brother” and “best friend” line, I still think there’s something there but this was not the time for them to have that conversation; there was way too much going on in the episode): CAS: “I could go with you.” Cas. Cas will  _always_  be by Dean’s side to the end if he can – we see this in “The End”, and in “The Prisoner,” and Dean tells Cas he’s always been there during their Impala scene. Oh and Dean telling Cas to take care of Sam….fuck. Oh and DEAN: “Thank you…for everything.” *hug*  RIP OUT MY FUCKING HEART WHY DON’T YOU.

10) Amara and Lucifer parallels. I’m actually disappointed this didn’t get developed more, and WHERE THE HELL IS LUCIFER? Sorry…anyway. Amara hated humanity/creation because she was jealous of Chuck’s divided attention, then she got locked away. Sounds familiar.

11) Amara and Chuck  _actually resolve their problems and nobody dies._

12) Sam and Cas being heartbroken, thinking that Dean is dead. Cas trying to uphold Dean’s dying wish by trying to console Sam. FUCK.

13) Cas getting zapped away and Sam being shot. Again, fuck you, Lady Whatsherface.

14) MARY FUCKING WINCHESTER.

15) WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL FALL?

 

In rereading this post, I think I should just have entitled it “Oh and…”

[spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [spn season 11](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-11) [spn season 11 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-11-reviews) [Destiel](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/Destiel) [11x23](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/11x23)   



	19. SPN 12x01

THE PREMIERE. IT HAPPENED. SPN IS BACK. YAY.

Ok, now that I got that (mostly) out of my system, some first impressions of the episode, in no particular order:

**\- Dean telling Mary the Epic Love Story of John and Mary:**  SO MUCH WINCHESTER/CAMPBELL HISTORY IN ALL OF THIRTY SECONDS. I’m gonna have to rewatch this to catch it all, but Vonnegut? Led Zeppelin? BE STILL MY HEART.

**\- Cas the Comet:**  He stole a truck. Love it.

**\- Mary and Dean convo on a bench:**  So many important scenes happen on park benches in SPN, so I really loved that aspect of this scene. I would have liked more of Dean and Mary’s conversation, though.

**\- 14 year old girl demon:**  I can’t decide if I liked this guy or if it was too much. Maybe it’s a blessing he was killed so the joke didn’t get old.

**\- Crowley back in action:**  YES.

**\- Mary knows about the MoL:**  “Just a hunter myth” – I LOVE the idea that old school hunters would’ve known/heard about the MoL (which makes sense, if the American MoL were wiped out in ‘58 and Mary was born in ‘54 – by the time she was old enough to hear about them, they would’ve been a distant memory)

**\- Speaking of the MoL:**  What exactly is LTB’s plan here? Like, if you want to recruit Sam, don’t torture him (and you are in WAY over your head here). If you want to curb him and other hunters, yeah, sure, torture him (not really…because SAMMY), but then don’t expect him to jump on the bandwagon. And even if you break him and get him to agree, do you really think you’d be able to maintain that “loyalty” longterm without torturing him again and again and again?

**\- UK/Europe vs. US:**  Ok, LTB, listen, it’s friggin’ fantastic that you’ve got London all warded up. Good for you. And sure, London’s a big city – it’s bigger than NYC.But the rest of the US? Like, do you even understand how utterly impossible it would be to ward the US like you did with London? (Unless you’re talking building borders around the country, but hey, considering the quasi-Trump line you pulled, maybe border walls are your thing.) Ok, I live in a pretty densely populated part of the country. When I somewhat jokingly say I grew up “in the middle of nowhere”, I mean that the town was at most an hour from each of the three biggest cities in New England, had highway and major route access, and was directly bordered by 5? towns (6, I think, if you count the town on the other side of the lake), but we only had one stop light, two gas stations, and only one chain restaurant/store (Dunkins…duh). Watching the horse and tractor pulls at the town fair every year is an  _event._  But, in the grand scheme of things, I did  _not_  grow up in the middle of nowhere. Like, I still find it kind of weird when I watch SPN and they go to a town with only one road in and out, or when I zoom in on Google Maps and expect the side roads to finally pop up…and they don’t, because there aren’t any. Or how there’s only about 200 people in Lebanon, Kansas and they probably have to drive an hour to get to a legit grocery store. The Midwest is HUGE and not very densely populated. There’s a  _reason_  we don’t have a lot of public transportation – it’s nearly impossible to support that kind of infrastructure EXCEPT in major cities. (And I mean  _major_  cities.) 

So to ward the US effectively? That’d mean you’d have to go to  _every_  town/city, practically, because it’d be nearly impossible to do a lot of that warding en masse. Not unless, like I said, you could ward the whole country’s borders. So, yeah, LTB, do your research and  _understand your context_. 

Do I think there’s merit in some of the ways she describes? Sure. Except that it’s also pretty black-and-white, and I think we’ve seen that not all supernatural creatures deserve to die. Could the American hunters use better networking and resources? Absofuckinglutely. But, it needs to be a system that is designed for the US, not for the UK, otherwise, it just won’t work. So again, LTB, you gotta work  _with_  Sam, someone who understands how this country works. NOT TORTURE HIM.

**\- Sam torture:**  Seriously, LTB…you’re in way over your head. And I know I’ve talked about this before, but Sam being a sassy little shit makes me sad because there’s such a nihilism there – sure, you could chalk some of it up to bravado (yes, he’s been tortured by Luficer, but that doesn’t exactly make this a walk in the park), but I think a big part of it is that Sam’s sass is him, in many ways, not really giving a fuck. His brother’s dead, there’s no Apocalypse on the horizon…what exactly is he living for? (Not that he’s exactly suicidal. That’s different.)

**\- Cas and Dean reunion:**  ALL THE HUGS. Also, I love, for Destiel reasons (and hate for family/Mary reasons), how Dean and Cas practically ignore Mary as they recap what’s going on. Even if you take out Destiel, it’s clear that Dean and Cas are part of a familiar team at this point, a team that’s missing a key member at the moment. TFW is so used to working together that they almost forget to include others. (ALSO: Mary’s reaction to the hug????)

**\- Mary and Baby:**  Ten bucks says Dean was conceived in the backseat of that car (maybe Sam, too). Bahahahahahaha loved that scene. 

**\- The car fight scene:**  Ok, so British chick was pretty badass…but still…she overpowered  _CAS?_  Like, the angel who has taken out two other angels at a time after being tortured? WTF.

But yeah, MARY FOR THE WIN.

Also…I love this fandom. I swear this was everyone’s reaction: Torture Sammy? Fuck you. Hit and damage Baby? YOU GONNA DIE BITCH.

**\- Dean explaining the family business:**  “I think that we make the world a better place. I know that we do.” I LOVED this line – it’s a great call back to S1 when Dean tries to convince Sam that hunting is worthwhile, not just for revenge, or the beginning of S11 when Sam reminds Dean of their original Mission Statement. It does break my heart a little that Dean has to be the one taking care of a parent  _again_ , but I also like that Dean feels confident in what he does and why.

 

…there’s stuff that I missed. I’m gonna have to rewatch. But anyway…CAN’T WAIT TO SEE WHAT’S NEXT!!!

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	20. 12x02: "Let's call the Internet!"

Whoa. Ok. So – LOTS to talk about. Buckle up!

(Btw…I sometimes abbreviate Toni as LTB (Lady Toni Bevell) because I started doing that in my fic writing notes this summer and never really broke the habit.)

**SAMONIA:**  Yeah, that’s what I’m calling Sam/(An)Toni(a) (based on this [post/thread](http://grey2510.tumblr.com/post/152088588723/awed-frog-postmodernmulticoloredcloak)). Why? Because it sounds like a nasty cleaning product and I need brain bleach for all of that. I am glad, however, that they made it clear that this  _was not ok_  and  _was not something Sam wanted._  Toni is horrible and manipulative and  _enjoys torturing Sam_ (and later Dean). Like. Ugh. She is fucked up and creepy and yeah…no bueno.

**THE HELL PLOT:**  Crowley wants revenge. Crowley is being sassy AF. Vincifer is FUCKING AWESOME. AH. SUCH A GOOD CHOICE. But, what’s up with the glowy red eyes??? Rowena just wants OUT. Btw – she’s wearing  _pants,_ not her usual gown, when she says this. Symbolism?

Other things I noticed:

  * Rowena mentioning ballet. Ruth is a dancer. :)
  * Rowena now knows what Google Maps are. But last season had no idea what GPS was and in S10 was baffled by Charlie the Nerd and her computer. Yay OOC stuff.
  * Rowena hanging out with the Republicans at the tennis club. I’m including this because yay, dig at the bat-shit insanity going on right now, but also in response to a few comments I saw saying that the show/network’s gotta be pissed at Misha for stumping for Hillary/denouncing Trump, etc. etc. etc. Yeahhhhh….kinda think they don’t give two shits about that. (And if they do, they’re two shits in  _support_  of Misha.)



**PARALLELS, OH THE PARALLELS, PART 1:**  Lucifer convinces Vince to say yes by showing up as Vince’s dead wavy-blonde haired girlfriend,  ~~Jess~~  Jenna. Like, dude, we get it. Can we  _please_  do something new?

**PARALLELS, OH THE PARALLELS, PART 2:**  LTB: “Sam, let’s talk about Ruby. You know, your ex-demon lover.” Also LTB: “Dean, let’s talk about Benny. You know, the vampire you…befriended.” (awkward pause in the middle there, eh?)

What’s that, Subtext? You’re saying Dean is bi and Dean/Benny might have been a thing? What’s that, Subtext? You’re saying this isn’t the first time Benny has been Dean’s relationship counterpart against Sam’s romantic storyline? Can you speak up louder for the people in the back?

(Note, I don’t really ship Denny, but I don’t exactly mind the idea of it, either.)

**WHAT’S BLACK AND WHITE AND RED ALL OVER?**  LTB after getting the crap beaten out of her by Mary Fucking Winchester.

But more on that face-off in a second. 

This actually ties into the previous topic: how LTB is so B&W about everything. Ruby is ancient history, Benny is kind of ancient history. But, the point of bringing them up was to show how the BMoL see any sort of partnership/relationship with something non-human as WRONG (and how out of date the BMoL are with the Winchesters). And in the case of Ruby, I think we can agree, that yeah, Sam, not your best move. But Benny? Benny was a good guy, fangs and all. There’s grey area, which is something that the Winchesters have taken a  _long_  time to learn, but they’re getting there. LTB? Definitely not at that point yet, or maybe ever will be. (And the BMoL method of “protecting” the UK definitely is a reflection of that.)

Also – somewhat in this category: Mick (yay Buckleming…awesome name choice. *sarcasm*) representing some grey area in the BMoL. But very, very ambiguous grey area, especially since he mentions this Mr. Ketch. (And random  _Angel_  reference? Mick refers to the BMoL as the “Home Office.” Anyone else get Wolfram & Hart vibes???)

**BATTLE OF THE BLONDES:**  Hair color aside (seriously, it’s only there for the alliteration…don’t read anything into it), I love that once again Mary is the one who steps in and is like back the fuck away from my boys. Favorite part? MFW: Get on the ground. LTB: *doesn’t move* MFW: *smacks her face and forces her down* That’s the ground. 

FUCK YEAH MARY FUCKING WINCHESTER.

**THE FAMILY REUNITES:**  Sam is shocked DEAN IS ALIVE. AND THEN HIS CHOKED EXPRESSION WHEN HE SEES MARY. AHHHH. Although, I really thought they were going to play up Sam thinking Dean’s just another hallucination. But whatevs. Still a great scene.

**LTB THE TORTURE QUEEN:**  I said it before, but I’ll say it again – she is creepy AF and it’s sick how much she seems to  _enjoy_  this, “lawful” motivations or not. Also, torturing Dean like that? Saying they’ve studied how to torture effectively? Lady, you’re talking to someone who  _tortured people in Hell for ten years after living through it for thirty._  Also, kudos to Jensen to looking terrified because he knows  _exactly_  what she probably has planned or what torture can really look like and  _he knows how to do it_  – so yay, back to that guilt-fest for Dean. Last thing: LTB is  _really_  good with magic. Like, she’s super fast and pretty powerful. (Possible witchy/corrupty subplot?)

**MARY IS A REAL PERSON:**  

  * Mary overhearing Dean’s phone call with Cas and the awkwardness of her relationship with her son. It’s so  _real_. (More on the phone call later)
  * Mary wearing the Dead Guy Robe: not sure how I feel about this after Chuck last season. I kinda feel like it’s a little too much of people taking Dean’s identity (an identity that he has just started to acknowledge as his own).
  * Mary being worried about meeting Sam and blaming herself for all the shit with Azazel. YES. TELL ME MORE. I find it so  _weird_  that even civilian!Mary didn’t ward the ever-loving shit out of their house. I really hope this comes up more in future episodes.
  * Dean: “I can’t do my job if I’m worried about you.” MFW: “I can handle myself. K? Good talk.” THAT WAS SUCH A DEAN RESPONSE. (Or such a Mary response, since she’s his mom? Argh.)
  * “I’m your mother: you have to do what I say.” I love that she jokingly pulls the mom-card because it gave some levity to the situation which they both realize is incredibly complex and messed up.
  * Dean: “You were good at this, weren’t you?” MFW: “Very.”
  * Mary dreaming about John, saying he was a great father. Dean looking weirded out, then explaining that John changed. AND THEN SAM GIVING HER THE JOURNAL. Shit, that’s gonna be some tough reading.
  * Actually, just EVERYTHING about Mary and Sam’s reunion. So touching. God, Jared made me want to cry during that scene in Mary’s room. A+ acting, sir. “Having you here fills in the biggest blank.” AHH. (Also, Sam, sweetie, don’t stare at the ceiling from your bed. Bad things happen when you do that. – but, cinematically, nice call back to the Pilot, especially given Mary’s presence now.)
  * Mary can’t cook. While the Let’s Deconstruct Mary side of me is like YES PLEASE THIS IS GOOD, there’s a part of me that is incredibly sad about this. Because of Dean….



**I’M GIVING DEAN HIS OWN CATEGORY:**

  * …Because the memory of his mom’s meatloaf is something he held on to for 30+ years, and it came from the Piggly Wiggly (which apparently doesn’t exist in KS according to other Tumblr folk? I dunno…I shop at ye old Market Basket. The Basket, as it’s known….unless you’re my grandmother’s age, and then it’s still DeMoula’s even if it hasn’t been called that for like 30 years. But I digress). 
  * AND DEAN SITTING IN THE  **KITCHEN**  ALONE LOOKING AT PICTURES DRINKING BEER. Yeah. The kitchen. DEAN’S KITCHEN. Where Dean cooks fucking fantastic burgers. Where Dean gets annoyed when wicked witches fuck the place up after he just cleaned. He could have looked at pictures alone literally ANYWHERE in the Bunker…like, his room? Where presumably the pictures were to start with? But no, he retreats to the kitchen. To drink alone. While looking at the last remnants of the childhood he  _thought_  he knew and remembered. Fuck.
  * Good and Bad Writing: He mentions “Chinese mind control technique” and reading/researching. Bad: really? Chinese mind control? What are you even doing, Buckleming?? Like, sure, there might legitimately be something in the lore about that, but it just sounded…wrong. Good: Smart!Dean! YAY.
  * Good and Bad Writing Part 2: Good: Call back to Dean and Mary and pie. Bad: Pig!Dean. WTF. Like, seriously. That was so over the top and completely unnecessary.



**BUT WHAT ABOUT CAS? YOU HAVEN’T MENTIONED HIM!:** Yeah, I was saving Cas…and Dean…for the end because HOLY DESTIEL LOVING CHUCK. Ok, so aside from the few “Cas is dumb/is The Awkward Angel™” moments, YAY DEAN AND CAS.

  * Dean confiding in Cas about Mary, despite Cas having  _no_  clue what to do about it, but Cas tries. He asks questions. He tells Dean, in his very Cas way, not to over-complicate things. Which is kinda good, if very blunt and not terribly practical (because, emotions), advice. But the fact that Dean felt he could talk to  _Cas_  about his  _mother_  and how weird things are just shows how much Cas is  _family,_ no matter what other labels you want to attach there. (<3 <3 labels? please?)
  * Cas: You brought your mother? MFW: Hello, Castiel. Yes, he did. 
    * If that wasn’t an awkward boyfriend/mother-in-law/son-in-law moment, I don’t know what is.
  * Cas and Dean’s silent communication when Mary insists on going. Cas, who previously was like,  _Dean WTF do you want my advice for on human matters concerning mothers (not exactly my area of expertise, bro)_ , steps in IMMEDIATELY to bail Dean out, and offers a VERY tactful and  _human_  way of keeping Mary outside, saying he would like the company. I absolutely  _loved_  the clear connection between Dean and Cas here. FUCKING MARRIED COUPLE.
  * One complaint: WHERE THE HELL WAS CAS AT THE END OF THE EPISODE?
    * That being said, did my ears deceive me, but did I hear the lyric “lost angel” right when Dean is sitting alone in the kitchen (and kind of looks over to his right like he’s expecting someone to be there)??? Someone please gif this/screencap this for me. Thank you muchly.



[spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [spn season 12](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-12) [spn season 12 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-12-reviews) [12x02](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/12x02) [destiel](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/destiel)[dean is bi](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/dean-is-bi) [dean winchester](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/dean-winchester) [mary winchester](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/mary-winchester) [castiel](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/castiel)[sam winchester](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/sam-winchester) [toni bevell](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/toni-bevell) [benny](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/benny) [rowena my queen](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/rowena-my-queen)[all hail crowley](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/all-hail-crowley) [vincifer](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/vincifer) [lucifer](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/lucifer) [samonia](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/samonia) [long post for ts](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/long-post-for-ts) [denny](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/denny)[dean/benny](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/dean%2Fbenny)


	21. 12x03: Give me something to sing about

In which I want to tell Mary after she goes solo hunting…

[AD That's why you always leave a note gif]

Like really. How hard is it to write down that you went to the creepy house? Paper/pen is not a new technology, Mary. At least they found her quickly.

Ok, so that’s not really what I want to focus on. But I couldn’t resist the AD gif.

**CAS, MARY, AND FITTING IN** : Cas and Mary’s conversation about fitting in, Cas trying to convince her that she does belong here (and now that I know what happens at the end…ahhhhhh), Mary cutting her hair, etc. It’s almost exactly how I pictured it! (No really…that’s like a good chunk of [ **“Return”**](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F7370017%2Fchapters%2F16739524&t=NmNjM2Q0OWY0ZjcwZDJiY2ZkZDZmZDIxNjI4ODVhNTAxN2NhZmE2NCxleHVXd3NkSA%3D%3D&b=t%3AEfhZx9mrbYIhxW5MNPXDUQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fgrey2510.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F152407081868%2F12x03-give-me-something-to-sing-about&m=1). And yes, I’m taking this post title from the [BtVS song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.allthelyrics.com%2Flyrics%2Fbuffy_musical_episode%2Fsomething_to_sing_about-lyrics-278052.html&t=MWQ5NDhlMTA0ZjFjNmY2M2I1ODNjNWU1M2Y3YzYxYzRiNDNhYjQ2NyxleHVXd3NkSA%3D%3D&b=t%3AEfhZx9mrbYIhxW5MNPXDUQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fgrey2510.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F152407081868%2F12x03-give-me-something-to-sing-about&m=1), and yes, I already used it as a chapter title in “Return”, but c’mon, it’s kinda perfect.  _Btw,[@proudfanboy](https://tmblr.co/m3hE9rRoktOkGMMFMVqeQIw), you are not allowed to click the BtVS link until you have watched up through 6x07. Get cracking, mister._) Also, Cas’ awkwardness at choosing an agent name because it’s too current/obvious (Agent Beyonce) was paralleled so well with Mary choosing equally obvious (at least to me, and I’m nowhere near that generation!) but super dated names ( _The Partridge Family_ ). But I love how they both got to show that, names aside, they’re not actually all that bad at hunting – Mary is better at the human stuff, naturally, but Cas has his own strengths and instincts.

Also, Cas, you belong there, too!! I did love that he was just there at the Bunker, even if he didn’t have a  _reason_  to be (other than the fact that it’s home and he wanted to be and he’s wanted there)

**DEAN, SAM, CAS, AND COMMUNICATION:**  I know people have analyzed the promo (which was this scene) to death already, so I won’t say too much about it. I know I’m also in the minority that doesn’t really like the idea of Dean/Cas using pet names for each other, and I read the “sunshine” as just classic Dean smart-alecky banter, but *shrug*. However, I do really love that Cas is honest with them about what he’s doing and why, and I love that Dean and Sam want to help him. 

For shipping purposes, though, I love how Cas pointedly looks at Dean/them and is like, no, you need to stay here and figure shit out with your mom. And yes, that’s based on his earlier conversation with Mary, but it’s  _also_  based on his conversations last episode with Dean. He knows that  _both_ of them, Dean and Mary, are feeling awkward about the whole situation. Cas has been the confidante for both and I think that’s awesome.

Which brings me to my next point: Dean’s conversations with Sam about Mary are, in some way, the exact  _opposite_  of what Dean’s been saying to Cas. Dean confides in Cas that he doesn’t know what to do with Mary. With Sam, though, Dean is back to classic!Dean: deny, deny, repress, deny: Everything’s fine, Sammy, let’s just take the win. Except, you know it’s not fine, Dean. You literally just said that to Cas. 

So, there’s a few ways we can take this: 1) Bad characterization – Dean makes some progress, but takes a step back. Not a bad theory, considering some inconsistencies on the show, but I trust Bobo more than that. 2) Dean is performing for Sam. This makes sense, and it’s kind of what Dean always does around Sam, and he rarely does with Cas, especially lately. I’d like to see more growth in this department for Dean, especially considering 11x23. 3) Dean, in a weird way, is trying to take Cas’ advice not to complicate things. Cas probably meant it as, “Don’t make it awkward. Just try to get to know each other and help each other out. Be open, talk.” Dean interprets that as, “Ignore all the problems and pretend everything’s fine/uncomplicated.”

Personally, I think it’s a combination of 2 and 3. Interpret as you will.

**FAMILY HUNTING TRIP:** Good classic case, and I liked it for a number of reasons. It was fairly simplistic, all things considered, but that allowed for more interpersonal story telling. 

  * Mary and Dean are the same person: food, music, trying to hide in hunting (although Sam is the one who verbalizes that’s what it is, and says he does the same, which is true – he also talked about this with Claire last season). On the one hand, I kind of love how the show is depicting how Dean is more tied to his Mom, but sometimes it seems a little on the nose/too much. (And then it goes and breaks my heart with the cooking/kitchen scenes last episode, and the final scene of this one…)
    * Not sure where to put this, so I’ll put it here: Dean pointedly notices a motorcycle, but then it  _never comes up again_. 10 bucks says Mary takes a motorcycle when she leaves (maybe Dorothy’s? or is that too much me trying to get my headcanons/fics to be canon?).
  * Mary’s style of hunting is “obsolete”, and yet, it’s very human and it gets the job done. I could go off on a rant about how we see this in education, too: a report/test grade/data is such a paltry representation of what’s actually going on in a classroom or with a student; similarly, a police report can’t really compare to actually  _talking_  to someone.
  * So many callbacks to S1, such as “Home”, what with Mary trying to save children from an evil spirit in a home. Symbolically and visually, I love how this episode continues to dismantle the early seasons. In “Home”, it’s all fire and violence. In “The Foundry,” it’s ice. *insert Robert Frost quote* Ahem, anyway, by having it be the opposite element, it reminds us that this season is all about continuing the lessons of S11: finding another way.
  * The other callback would be to the Pilot: Mary sees the creepy doll in the cradle (seriously WTF – that thing’s gonna haunt me) and gets locked in the room and she starts calling for  _Sam_ , even though Dean’s the one who first calls out to her. The connection to the Pilot is further emphasized when she faints/has the flashback to 11/2/83 and Sammy’s nursery. The guy’s child victims showing up as he burns out was also a callback to Constance Welch, the Woman in White, who drowned her children, whose spirits reappear and drag her to Hell (presumably). But again, Mary’s alive this time around, the ghost is the father, not the mother – we’re doing things differently.
  * Mary overcomes ghost possession to avoid killing Dean. How many people has that happened to? (Sam, John, Bobby, Cas…am I missing anyone?)



**CCR:**  No, not Creedence. Cas, Crowley, and Rowena.

  * Cas and Crowley being fucking pissy and annoyed with each other. Seriously, I could watch that shit for hours.
  * Rowena = QUEEN
    * I kind of mentioned this last time, but I love how her outfits have changed: she’s wearing more modern wear, instead of the flowing gowns, and pants – like Mary’s haircut, this is a great representation that this is a new version of Rowena. Sure, she’s still Rowena at her core, but she’s doing things differently, too. (Sensing a theme yet?)
  * Vincifer: I’m really enjoying this portrayal, tbh. But, I am curious as to why he healed the sister? Seems random.



**THE FINAL SCENE:**  Oh my Chuck. That hurt. Like, I get it from Mary’s POV. I do. She has every right to mourn her husband, her old life, and the boys she knew. Dean and Sam as they are now aren’t her little boys. And 1983 might have been 33 years ago for them, but it was only a few days ago for her. (And did she say she remembers Heaven? Or did I misinterpret that part?) The amount of shit that Mary’s going through inside her head and heart is unimaginable. I can’t fault her in the slightest for wanting to take some time and figure out who she  _is_ in this new world and without her family (the family that  _she_  knows). 

That being said, seeing Dean actually step back from his mother hurt so bad. Sam’s crushed, and understandably so, but I think it’s a little more rational/detached for him. He says last episode that she can fill in a lot of blanks for him, which is true, and it’s incredibly emotional and important, and I don’t want to diminish that at  _all_. But for Dean, he has memories of his mom, and having her “reject” him is absolutely devastating (like the kitchen/photos scene last week wasn’t bad enough…). We know Dean’s always been far more protective of her memory, understandably so (as a kid, he tells Sammy not to talk about her ever, he nearly beats the crap out of Sam in the pilot when Sam reminds Dean that she’s dead and not coming back - heh). 

Sam is obviously hurt, but he can at least hug Mary and face her to say goodbye. Dean can’t even do that. 

Dean, who had finally opened up literally  _seconds_  before, apologizing for hijacking the case and complimenting her skills, was essentially told that that wasn’t enough, which of course he interpreted as  _he_  wasn’t enough. He can’t even get his own  _mother_  to stick around. Like  _that_  isn’t gonna fuck with his head for, I dunno,  _ever._

~~(And earlier in the episode, someone else important left him, too…)~~

 

Anywho…that’s all folks. I probably would have more to say, but I am le tired.

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	22. 12x04: Back to Basics

The fact that SPN has been on for  _twelve_  seasons and is still able to give good, classic, “MOTW” episodes that still feel fresh really says something.

Sure, some of this, we’ve seen before – 1x14 “Nightmare” and 1x15 “The Benders” come to mind, particularly. But, by blending some elements of those episodes, getting some character growth in, and including some of the season’s “mytharc”, they’ve created a strong episode.

I don’t think I have any real complaints about the episode. That being said, I can’t say that I  _liked_  what happened to Magda, but in the grand scheme of things, I think it worked narratively, as much as it absolutely sucked.

(Although, I am a little surprised Magda didn’t even  _try_  to use her powers to get away. It was a little bit of Charlie syndrome, I will say that.)

Anyway, I’ll get to Magda’s fate later.

This is super long…

**DEAN, MARY, AND CHARACTER GROWTH:**  

  * Dean ain’t doing so hot, and sure he’s acting like a jerk, but you can see how upset he is and how emotional he is when he watches the mom and son lighting the candle, and then THE TEXT. (And Dean, let your inner 13 year old girl out. It’s cool.) I love and hate that he offered to call her Mary instead of Mom. I liked it because it showed that he was trying to respect her wishes and hopefully make her feel more comfortable; last week, it was pretty clear that he couldn’t really wrap his head around the idea that Mary didn’t see him as her son–at least, not in any emotional way. So, him taking the step back was a good way of letting her come to terms with everything/figure out what she needs. BUT, because we know Dean, we also know that this is him being desperate to keep his family together, even if it means giving up something that’s important to him. If you think that calling her “Mary” wouldn’t kill his soul a little each time he said it, you don’t know Dean Winchester at all. But he would do it if that’s what it meant to keep them together.
  * So, I’ve been slowly working my way back through the old seasons (not a serious rewatch; more of a “I’ll throw an episode on while I’m grading homework” kind of thing), and today, I happened to watch 6x16 “And Then There Were None”. I’d like to submit this snippet of dialogue about Samuel Campbell (right after Sam kills him) for your consideration and pain:
    * SAM: I mean, I just can’t help but think, what would Mom say?
    * DEAN: You know what I think Mom would say? She’d say just ‘cause you’re blood doesn’t make you family. You got to earn that.
  * Somehow I don’t think Dean ever thought that might apply to them with Mary. But he had a point then, and Mary had a point last episode – Dean and Sam are  _not_ her family, not the way she knows and understands her family. 
    * Petition to stop hating Mary for leaving. I’m not saying you have to love the decision, but at least try to understand it and be a little sympathetic. Like, holy shit, I was bitching and moaning last week (ok, and this week, too) because of work and family stuff and none of that had anything to do with being resurrected 33 years into the future, fighting monsters, and, oh yeah,  _being younger than my children–who I don’t know!–who want to call me Mom and expect me to all maternal to them._ So yeah, let’s cut Mary a break, ok?
  * That being said, it’s clear that they  _want_  to be family: Mary says to keep calling her Mom, which to me says a lot. She’s gotta know how much she hurt Sam and Dean by leaving, and she doesn’t  _want_  to hurt them. And intellectually, she does love them. But again, she’s younger than them–they’ve lived more years without her than she’s lived  _at all_  (again, she’s 28/29, technically). It’s gotta be freaking  _weird_ , but she lets Sam and Dean have the name because she knows it’s important. 
    * By comparison: they only ever called Samuel and Henry by their first names to their faces (they might refer to them as their grandfathers, but they were never like, Hey Gramps, what’s up)
  * Dean’s comment to Magda and Beth about people needing space:
    * Great echo of Beth’s line about splitting families up for the best. Another great example of Dean chewing on things and processing them even if he disagrees or is resistant at first. (I’m personally thinking of 11x04 and 11x19…but that’s because shipper goggles: I’m always thinking of those scenes!) 
    * From S11 to this season, it’s been awesome to see Dean start to mature emotionally, even if, like I said, it takes him a little while to get there and to process it. That’s fine. We all need time to process stuff. Growth isn’t automatic.
    * I like that Dean made the comment  _before_  getting the text from Mary, which showed that he was coming to these realizations on his own, not because he’s being forced into them. He’d started to make peace with Mary’s decision, and then her text was just confirmation of what he’d already started to accept: she  _does_  care about them and she’s coming back eventually.



**DESTIEL?**

  * Ok, just a little bullet point here, but I still love that Dean’s the one to call Cas, and he does so without Sam around. And yeah, he does not seem happy about the Crowley situation. Hmm…



**SOLVING THE CASE:**

  * Yes, the boys bickered and argued about who killed who, but I felt like this kind of conflict was normal. They’re both emotionally fried, so of course they’re going to be bitchy. But, I think we and they knew that this was just normal arguing, and nothing catastrophic. 
  * SMART DEAN IS THE BEST DEAN. It was a small moment, but I  _loved_  the way it was done. So, when they’re examining the body and Sam identifies the wounds as stigmata, I was waiting for Sam to then explain what that it is to Dean. Usually, this is how they get away with explaining stuff to the audience without having one of them turn to the camera and be like “for those of you watching at home, a banshee is…”. Unfortunately, this often makes Dean look dumb– _especially_  if it’s something that isn’t really all that fringey that they probably would have come across at least after flipping through how many lore books over the years? But, here, they trust Dean and the audience’s intelligence. Dean just merely confirms Sam’s assessment. Boom. Done. Move on. Go team.
    * Unless I missed them discuss it earlier in the church? I don’t think I did, but ya never know.
  * The fact that the psychic was  _not_  the monster, but a regular old  _person_  was the monster reminded me of 1x15 “The Benders”, especially with that off the grid reclusive family vibe. No cannibalism, thankfully, but imprisonment, torture, abuse/neglect, and murder kind of ticked off the rest of the WTF boxes.



**SAM, MAGDA, AND EVIL:**

  * Ok, so there are  _so_  many parallels to 1x14 and the Sam and the Special Children arc. (That sounds like a bad band name…) But yeah, Max’s abuse at the hands of his father (and the lack of help/support from his stepmother) = Magda’s situation, in many ways. The knife scene was also paralleled with the gun scene in 1x14, as were Sam’s conversations with Madga and Max and the other Special Children. 
  * SAM’S THE ONE WHO SNAPPED FIRST. I thought it was super interesting that after Sam calling out Dean for being a jackass ever since Mary left, Sam’s the one who gets  _really_  pissed and hurt and upset at Mommy Dearest (I don’t remember her name…). “God doesn’t care what kind of life you live, trust me. God didn’t kill your daughter, you did.”
    * SO MUCH TO UNPACK THERE. AND SAM LOOKED LIKE HE WAS HOLDING BACK TEARS. :(
    * Ok, so last season, Dean was the one to break down over the whole God thing, but we know that Sam was hit pretty hard by that, too. He’s the one who has  _always_  had faith, or tried to, and then he found out what a colossal fucking disappointment Chuck was. (And yet, he  _still_  tried to be “good”: he’s the only one who’d help or talk to Chuck in 11x23, etc.) So now to hear that there are people who have let their kids die because of their belief in God? Sam’s like fuck that shit. God doesn’t  _deserve_  that kind of a sacrifice or faith.
    * Not only that, but we know that he’s upset about Mary leaving. “God doesn’t care what kind of life you live” – Mary has some pretty strong feelings about how the boys were raised and the life they live. Last season, Chuck told Dean not to confuse him with John; I think Sam’s projecting a little of the Mary situation here.
    * Just the fact that even Dean came back to the living room and was like  _WTF Sam_  tells you something. Sam is a classic case of still waters run deep, so I really loved seeing some of that hurt and turmoil  _finally_  come to the surface. And by loved, I mean, I don’t  _want_  Sam to be hurt and conflicted. But I just want to know what’s going on with him and I want him to finally get it off his chest.
  * Magda’s belief that she’s evil/the devil – this was heartbreaking. She truly  _believed_  it, even if she was scared and wanted help. Mommy Dearest really did a number on her, and even if Magda had survived, I’m not sure she would have ever truly recovered – not unless she also had someone she could talk to about her powers. I think she would just have internalized her powers and stayed convinced that they were something shameful and wrong. You don’t undo that much emotional abuse in an instant.
  * Sam and Magda’s conversations: I really liked how Sam-centric this episode was. It really showed just how compassionate he is, and how he really does try to do what’s  _right._ He knows evil, he knows the devil, and he’s not gonna let some kid think she’s anywhere  _near_  Lucifer’s level if he can help it. It’s clear he’s still struggling with his own past, but he’s also coming to terms with it.



**MAGDA AND THE BMoL:**

  * I hated that Magda died. I did. I mean, I  _get_  it, but fuck I was really rooting for her. This kid deserved to live.
  * I really like the direction the BMoL arc is taking because it is such an interesting reflection of how the Winchesters have grown and evolved over the years. It took Sam and Dean–mostly Dean–a  _long_  time to realize that not everything supernatural needs to die. Sure, they had a few examples in the beginning of the series (Lenore, for example), but even then, we have instances like Amy Pond, Emma, etc. Did they pose a threat? Maybe. Cas, Benny, and even Crowley are probably the only examples we have of the Winchesters realizing that some supernatural creatures might not deserve to be killed (well, jury’s still out on Crowley, from the Winchester’s POV, but I think they’ve realized that he’s the lesser of many evils for ruling Hell, and he’s not  _all_  bad anymore).
    * It’s a great twist on “family don’t end in blood” and having to earn family status: some humans are evil, some creatures are not. Just because you’re human, doesn’t make you moral or good. Just because you’re a creature doesn’t make you evil.
  * Meanwhile, the BMoL are very black and white about this, to a very alarming/fascist/ruthless degree. I’m curious and excited to see how this plays out.
  * Curious how all this is going to play out in the long run with Lucifer out in the world running around. I really want to know more about how Sam feels about that situation, and I think we got some hints through this episode, with Sam’s reactions to Magda’s claims that she has the devil inside her, as to how Lucifer has really screwed up Sam. :(



**OTHER TIDBITS:**

  * Sam’s a Vince Vincente fan. Dean is so judgy.
  * Sam and Dean must have a great sweater collection now (they’re not the same outfits as 11x08 “Just My Imagination”).
  * Dean vs. the gate. You fucking dork, I love you.
  * Sam’s phone background – was it a MoL insignia or was it a Devil’s Trap? I didn’t quite catch it. I hope it’s the latter – I can just imagine some demon picking it up and trying to hack it and just being like  _shit_  as their hand is stuck to the phone.
  * Sam’s powers – are they coming back?
    * Please? I think it would be an interesting addition to the BMoL arc, too. Although, we already had the hunting community not trust Sam in earlier seasons for this reason, so maybe it’d be too much of a rehash. But still POWERS.
  * They tied Sam to a chair for dinner. I dunno why but I found it funny. Like, yes, we’re keeping you captive, and no, we’re not going to let you eat, but we want you to sit and be part of the dinner together with the family. It’s the  _polite_  thing to do.
  * Dean and the social worker – a friend called right when she asked Dean to talk at the end so I missed most of Sam and Magda’s conversation, too. Did I miss anything with Dean and Beth?
    * Side note: I actually liked Beth.



My eyes are literally closing as I type this. Apologies for any rambling…

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	23. 12x05: Dean Deserves Pie, Sam Deserves a Break

How I imagine every argument between Dean and Sam from now on:

> **Sam:**  Dean, turn down the music. [or some other vaguely annoying thing]
> 
> **Dean** : I killed Hitler! I deserve this!
> 
> **Sam:**  I KNOW I GET IT YOU FUCKING KILLED HITLER MOVE ON.
> 
> **Dean:**  No, Sammy! Did  _you_  kill Hitler? No, you didn’t.
> 
> **Sam:**  I STOPPED THE APOCALYPSE.
> 
> **Dean:**  So what? We’ve all stopped a couple of Apocalypses! Who hasn’t?! But,  _you_  didn’t kill  _Hitler_.
> 
> *Sam storms off, wondering if killing Dean is even worth it at this point or if someone will just bring him back.*

ANYWAY…on to the rest of the episode.

WHY WASN’T THERE MORE AARON?!? I WANTED DEAN TO HAVE HIS GAY THING ALL TO HIMSELF. *sigh*

But, hey, Dean’s been making plenty of progress communicating on the phone–by call or text–with people he cares about this season, soooooo… I’ll take it. Begrudgingly. Aaron’s still awesome and I hope they bring him back again.

*insert insightful commentary about pie and Dean and symbolism*

*insert insightful commentary about Dean knocking down one ship and then seeing another and not wanting to mess it up and the symbolism*

(Sorry — other people have done the symbolism stuff way more justice than I have or will. No need to beat a dead horse, but I can’t not mention these two things.)

So, this, like the last one, was a pretty Sam-centric episode.

Let’s talk parallels.

**SAM AND ELLIE/MAGDA:**  Last week, we had Sam bond with Magda over their powers and whether or not they made someone evil. Interestingly, Magda called herself the Devil, but Sam made no explicit reference to Lucifer: he only said that they, Sam and Magda, weren’t the Devil–not in the way she meant. With Ellie, however, he flat out tells her that he got mixed up with Lucifer, and of course Ellie is like fuck this shit I’m out. (I kind of found her annoying, but I gotta admit, that probably would’ve been my reaction, too. Actually, it was kind of refreshing to see someone be like y’all crazy nope no siree not buyin’ it.) Anyway, I like that Sam’s getting to confront his past and come to terms with it, even see his story as a way to help others. With Lucifer still out there and the BMoL still breathing down their necks about everything they’ve done in the past 12 years, I think this is hugely important.

**SAM AND ELLIE/EILEEN:** At the end of the episode, we see Sam being the one to have a heart to heart with Ellie, kind of like with Magda, and I’ll admit I was ready for it to be some sort of awkward here’s my number thing. SO relieved that didn’t happen. What can I say — I’m still 100% Team Saileen. There were actually a lot of cinematic parallels in that last scene in 12x05 with 11x11, and I was also expecting Dean to make some comment about Ellie when Sam got back in the car–or, it seemed like he was waiting for Sam to make a comment about Ellie. But, the moment passed (whew), Sam said he’s ready to head out, and Dean’s ready for pie (hey, he deserves it).

I do hope that at the end of all of this, Sam finds some closure and happiness. Sam/Happiness might beat out Sam/Eileen for my Sam OTP.

**HITLER AND LUCIFER:**  So Sam lays out the Hilter/Lucifer parallel pretty clearly when talking with Ellie. Some connections I saw:

  * The possession/bloodline thing (which is wonderfully subverted in this episode)
  * Both bottled up evil genie style before being set free
  * Hitler’s absolutely manic dorkiness vs. Casifer’s delightful stroll in the park, his general over-the-top-ness, etc.
  * The man widely regarded as human’s ultimate evil vs. the literal Devil



**HITLER AND VOLDEMORT:** This isn’t exactly a stretch — Voldemort was literally written as the wizard Hitler. Now this episode has a blatant Horcrux reference, as well as my second point from above: both bottled up for a long time until finally set free to reign terror again.

**HITLER AND TRUMP:**  (I’m actually going to put this under the cut because I’m sure people are tired of hearing me talk about Trump.)

 

**Other odds and ends from this episode:**

  * Dean and the grenade launcher — Sam: “We’ll get a chance. It’s ok.” WE BETTER. STOP THE GRENADEBAITING.
    * But honestly, I kind of loved that scene. Jensen’s expressions are always just fantastic.
  * OUR FATHERS WERE BAD. RAR. Ok, we get it, SPN. John Winchester was an ass and a terrible father, and yeah Dean has every right to be pissed at his dad. I don’t think John was exactly a  _Nazi_ , though.
  * Ellie getting the first shot in. I like that this isn’t the first time this season a female character has done that, or something similar (Mary, for instance).
  * “INCONCEIVABLE disappointment" — if you didn’t read that first word in the voice of Vizzini/Wallace Shawn, you have homework to do. Go watch  _The Princess Bride_  right now. 
  * This brings me to… The accents. I know I have some followers who are German – are the accents actually terrible or am I just projecting my assumptions? (Like the time I saw someone say that Ruth Connell doesn’t have a real Scottish accent…like, what??)
    * Also, I’m sure my German followers/SPN watchers would appreciate an episode with Germans who  _aren’t_  Nazis and are actually decent human beings.
  * “Heil this.” — Dean, channeling his super dorky movie buff side. (Also, cinematography wise: A+)



Overall, an ok MOTW episode. Not my favorite by a long shot–I think they missed some opportunities (not enough Aaron, the Hitler psychotic thing was really overdone, and Ellie was super annoying, especially at first).

Ok, so  **HITLER/NAZIS AND TRUMP:**  I think it’s no secret at this point that I hate Trump. So, let’s compare him to Hitler, shall we?

  * Evil racist asshole
  * Manic/dangerously bombastic
  * Known for rhetorical skills that can incite people to hysteria/paranoia/bigoted hatred
  * With all the crap going on in the world, “it’s never been a better time for the Fuhrer’s return.” SOMEONE CHECK TRUMP. HE MIGHT BE HOSTING THE SOUL OF HITLER.
  * Calling Ellie a weak, American, female that he never needed — just substitute American with Mexican, Syrian, Middle Eastern, Islamic…you get the point. I’m just so excited for when The Pussy-Grabber-in-Chief-Elect takes office.
  * “What do you think I could do with Twitter?” — I dunno, sit around at 3 am and insult people?



Anyway, between Hitler and the BMoL, I appreciate how SPN has no chill about pointing how utterly fucked up racist, fascist, absolutist mentalities are. 

I know Tuesday was a blow to a lot of people (I find myself still periodically crying when I think about it), and this episode probably hit on some topics that were just too much to handle for some. Just…don’t give up. We can’t, even if things seem pretty damn bleak now; we can and will get through this.

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	24. 12x06: Isolation, Community, Family

I’ve basically been TumblrMIA for two days and I’ve barely scratched the surface of catching up on my dash, but even then it’s pretty clear that there is a LOT being said about 12x06 by some pretty awesome people, so I don’t want to step on their toes too much since I’m a little late to the game with my review.

First of all, I really really loved this episode. My only complaint would be that Billie didn’t have a bigger role. I get, on the one hand, why she didn’t, but on the other I sometimes feel like she’s underutilized. 

But I’m not going to talk too much about what actually happened in the episode because, like I said, a lot of people have already. I’m actually going to talk more about what happens off screen.

This whole episode really was about what happens off screen: the hunts we don’t see, the hunters we don’t know about, the hunters the  _Winchesters_  don’t know about, the moments the characters have that are only alluded to, the backstories we don’t always know, the aftermath of what happens when hunters roll out of town…the list goes on.

(This gets really long/kind of rambly.)

One of my favorite moments of storytelling by absence was the reference to Claire and Alex. It says a lot about how things have changed since we last saw them: we saw the beginnings of them starting to get along at the end of 11x12, but it’s reassuring to know that this has continued. The fact that Sam, Dean, and Jody don’t mention whether or not Claire’s still having trouble in school is also a pretty good indication that she’s starting to find her place; Jody probably would have mentioned otherwise.

But one of the most interesting aspects of this storytelling by absence is this idea of a whole hunter community that Sam and Dean are just on the fringes of, despite being legendary among other hunters – at least, not the ones we’ve seen before who wanted to kill them. We get a hint of this in 11x19 “The Chitters” when Jesse and Cesar say they’ve heard of the Winchesters, but here we really see just how close some of them are. 

For instance, while we’ve known for a long time that Bobby was fairly well connected, his connections were mostly by phone – he wasn’t hosting backyard BBQs for the hunters – and so any connections the Winchesters made with hunters through Bobby were usually of the “hey I’m a friend of Bobby’s, he said to contact you/you were in his contacts” variety. Here, however, we get a mention of Garth (and presumably, people know he’s a werewolf by now, which shows, once again, just how different the hunters are from the BMoL – also, I will be so fucking pissed if the BMoL go after Garth), Asa’s mother knows the other hunters, even  _Jody_  is a more familiar face to this group. The Winchesters are on the outs.

Dean says John always stayed away from hunter gatherings, and it’s pretty clear – especially in watching the earlier seasons –just how isolated Dean and Sam were. All of this says  _a lot_  about just how much John knew and was keeping from his boys.

I, and others, talked about this [here](http://grey2510.tumblr.com/post/147725436963/treefrogie84-elizabethrobertajones-answered) as part of a discussion of whether John knew about the Campbell clan/Mary’s upbringing as a hunter. (The TL;DR of the post has to do with Daniel Elkins being told by Dean in the 70s to go get the Colt from the Campbells in Lawrence. Elkins ends up with the Colt, John ends up knowing Elkins…so did John find out about the Campbells?) The more I think about it, and after this episode, I think John did know about the Campbell clan and that Mary was a hunter. This is the guy who tracked Azazel so well that Ash was in complete disbelief that someone could do that without his fancy computer algorithms. John wasn’t a dummy: he  _had_  to have found out about the Campbells somehow. 

And yet he never told Sam and Dean. Instead, he perpetuated the great lie of the perfect Mary Winchester.

So why did John keep the boys so isolated? Was it because he was afraid Yellow Eyes would come after them and so he wanted to stay as anonymous as possible? (After all, all of Mary’s family/friends/acquaintances were killed off not long after she died; John presumably learned of that.) Was it because he didn’t get along with other hunters? (Heck, he and Bobby weren’t talking by the end.) Or was it because he’d held a grudge against the Campbells after learning of their existence and the fact that they’d done nothing to protect Mary and his family? Or that because of them, Mary had been forced to live a lie?

Either way, there’s something profoundly disturbing about how John kept Sam and Dean in the dark for so long. (Even when they were both back hunting as adults! Like, the whole Missouri scene back in S1? Ergh.)

But the fandom has been pretty aware of the less-than-perfect John Winchester for a long time.

What’s interesting about S12 and this episode is that it also casts Mary into this light as well. So much of MARY WINCHESTER THE SYMBOL has been broken down to Mary Winchester, the person, who is flawed. She doesn’t cook, she’s not ready to be adult!Dean and adult!Sam’s family yet (in more than name only), she has real interests and feelings and fears. 

And in this episode, we see that Mary pulled some of the exact same shady crap in the 80s that John would after November 2, 1983. The fact that Mary still hunted even after “settling down” isn’t entirely surprising, but I would have expected it to be more along the lines of hearing there’s something nasty in town/with an hour’s drive or so, and taking care of it in an afternoon. But, 12x06 reveals, as Sam points out, that she was still hunting after Dean was born  _in freaking Canada_. 

And yet, Mary’s the one who reminds John (in Dean’s Heavenly Greatest Hits in 5x16) that he had two boys at home – so whatever it is that John wanted to do, Mary puts her foot down because  _they have children and the children have to come first._

What was going on in the Winchester household in the 1980s???

How was Mary getting away with hunting hours and hours away? Is this what contributed to some of John and Mary’s conflicts? (I’m not saying John knew then about the hunting – I think that came after Mary died, but seriously, what excuses was Mary giving for being away?)

Mary and John are often painted as opposites, in many respects, but the more and more we know about either of them, they’re actually similar in many ways. Maybe when the Cupid said they didn’t get along at first, that was why – after all, it’s why John and Sam butted heads so often.

John kept a lot from his boys, and he kept them away from the hunting community. Mary kept a lot from her family, and was raised by a hunting family that stayed away from the hunting community.

And that’s what Sam and Dean inherited: secrets and isolation. 

Is it really any wonder that Sam and Dean are so co-dependent?

If John had died and Mary had raised them, would they have turned out all that different in that regard? 

It’s a lot to consider. In our hearts, I think we want to say yes, but is that because we’ve been believing the same lie as Dean (and Sam) for so long? 

This episode brings up so many interesting points and reveals so many new avenues for the show to explore or for our imaginations to wander.

At the core of this, though, is the idea of family. It doesn’t end in blood, and it doesn’t start there, either. Sam and Dean have had to carve out family in their own way, thanks to their terrible parental legacies in this regard, and even then, they limit themselves. They have Jody, for instance (who is foiled/paralleled beautifully with Mary as the mother figure in this episode), but even they find it surprising to learn of Jody’s life when they’re not around. The thing is, they  _could_  be even more a part of that, and Jody would welcome that, but they don’t even know  _how_ or are even aware that that’s a possibility _._

Mary and John  _both_  fucked up their kids, is all I’m saying.

I dunno if any of this made any sense. It’s been that kind of week/month/year. 

I think I’m gonna have to rewatch the episode because I think there’s so much more to see and hear.

[spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [spn season 12](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-12) [spn season 12 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-12-reviews)[mary winchester](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/mary-winchester) [john winchester](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/john-winchester) [12x06](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/12x06) [dean winchester](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/dean-winchester)[sam winchester](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/sam-winchester) [jody mills](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/jody-mills) [this is not an anti-mary post](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/this-is-not-an-anti-mary-post)[i really like mary as a character](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/i-really-like-mary-as-a-character) [but she's not perfect](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/but-she%27s-not-perfect)[and that's the whole point](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/and-that%27s-the-whole-point) [spn hunters](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-hunters)[i have a lot of feelings about jody mills](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/i-have-a-lot-of-feelings-about-jody-mills)


	25. 12x07: DEAN, LEARN TO SPELL YOUR BF’S NAME CORRECTLY

Really, it’s just rude.

(If anyone needs a fix-it fic that completely ignores the travesty of Dean’s phone contact list in this episode, might I suggest [ **this**](http://grey2510.tumblr.com/post/151849676773/spelling-matters)?)

Alrighty, I know a lot of times I do this by character or by theme or whatever, but I’m just going straight up bullet points today. #lazy

  * Deeeeean why would you teach your mom the word twerking?
    * And why did NO ONE mention the fact that Dean had the letters for Lucifer? 
  * SO MUCH PISSINESS AND I LOVE IT. Dean’s pissy about LA. Cas is pissy about Crowley. Dean and Cas take out their pissiness by CRITIQUING EACH OTHER’S OUTFITS. 
    * Oh, and sorry, Dean, but Cas totally wins – “At least I don’t look like a lumberjack.” SASS-TIEL FUCK YEAH
    * Oh and Dean’s comments about douchey outfits – umm…sounds remarkably like what a certain couple of male modelin’ sonsofbitches wear when they’re not doing that acting stuff. Ah, Bobo.
  * Sam and his “podcast” on Martin Luther haha….I love watching him trying to bullshit his way out of admitting he’s listening to Vince’s music.
    * Also, Martin Luther’s 95 Theses were all about how buying indulgences was bad, right? (I haven’t studied this in years and I’m too lazy to look it up. I do know that he nailed them to the Wittenberg Church door in 1517 because my 9th grade history teacher made us memorize a bunch of dates AND I STILL REMEMBER MOST OF THEM. I hated her at the time because she was terrible, and I hate her even more now for being right about us always remembering this crap.) Anywhoooo…I’m sure there’s some insightful connection to be made about this and the Lucifer plot but I am le tired. *insert meta*
    * Also, I LOVE the role reversal here. Usually, it’s Sam giving Dean shit about his music choices, and in some ways Vince’s music seems like something Dean  _would_  listen to, but nope, not this time.
  * Dean complains about douches wearing sunglasses indoors – and then Crowley keeps wearing sunglasses indoors. Love it. (Yes, Dean does, too, but only for the persona.)
  * DEAN AND GUITAR. I REPEAT. DEAN AND GUITAR. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. 
    * Ok, so this actually ties into something [@awed-frog](https://tmblr.co/myXYn5QAGQtP3DRI5gEV77Q) and I were [talking about the other day](http://awed-frog.tumblr.com/post/153730371977/grey2510-awed-frog-frozen-delight-5x12) – Dean and his musicality. We know that he LOVES music (and has very strong opinions about what constitutes as good music), but he’s also subtly associated with  _playing_  music throughout the series: he wanted to be a rock star, he learns to play a little guitar as a teen, his djinn dream apartment has a guitar, Deanmon hung out at the piano (and seemed pretty comfortable there, like he was familiar with it…and oh yeah, karaoke…). 
    * It’s kind of interesting because being a rock star – as Dean said he wanted to be when he was 16, and as we see here with Vincifer – is all about performance and power from fans. Performing Dean wanted to be a rock star, all the fame and glory. Real teen!Dean wanted to be a mechanic because it’s not emotional, it’s an escape. Real Dean quietly wants to make music: an acoustic guitar (in the past), a piano… 
    * Sure, in this episode it’s an electric guitar, but he’s in the apartment of a rock star and so part of performing Dean meshes with real Dean here. And this scene is just  _fascinating_. If it was just about the fame and the glory, Dean would’ve been playing air guitar and acting like a total dork, pretending he’s on stage (not unlike him with his wrestling moves back in 11x15). But here, Cas, Crowley, and Sam are all talking about the case, and Dean just sits and strums a little on the guitar. He’s listening to the conversation, but he’s not participating and he’s not showing off: he’s actually, genuinely interested in the guitar and the music. 
  * Dean and the vegetable water – ah yes, another instance of Dean saying something is dumb/girly/embarrassing and then doing it or admitting he likes it. 
  * The devoted fans – I really really really hope this wasn’t supposed to be a commentary on fandom in general because I’m pretty sure that’s not what the majority of fans are like (I hope). Like, dear SPN fans, if you’re at all like whatsherface who would literally cut herself for her idol, please get help. 
    * Anyway, petition to stop making fangirls deranged? I’m like 95% positive that most of us are more like Charlie than Becky or Whatsherface.
  * CAS FOR THE WIN AS THE ONE WHOSE HUNTER SKILLS GET THE INFO THEY NEED. YEAH AGENT BEYONCE.
  * Cas and the handcuffs: “They held me.” 
    * I know it’s a reference to his time with the attack dog spell, but yeah… ;)
  * Something about the lighting during the concert scenes…is it weird that there were times that I thought Dean was wearing eyeliner?  ~~And is it weird that I was kind of disappointed he wasn’t?~~
  * WHY DID TOMMY DIE? :( His kids are in college, he was one of the good ones.
  * POOR CAS AND CROWLEY :(
  * SAM FUCKING WINCHESTER HELD THE DOORS OPEN TO SAVE PEOPLE AND RESISTED THE POWER OF GODDAMN (literally) LUCIFER.
    * Let me repeat: Sam Fucking Winchester.
    * What a BAMF.
  * Lucifer’s daddy issues: “He needed my help and he’d say anything to get it” – this is why I wasn’t too upset last season with Cas not getting to have a real conversation with Chuck. I didn’t trust a damn thing that came out of Chuck’s mouth, and it was pretty clear that he was doing exactly what Lucifer says here. Cas pretty much ignored Chuck in 11x23, even sent Sam to go deal with him, AND GOOD FOR CAS. Cas doesn’t need God’s approval, and he knows that his Father’s words were worth nothing.
  * The disintegration of Vincifer: ew.
    * Curious to see who the next vessel is.
    * I’m really really curious if my headcanon that Mary is a potential vessel is gonna come up.
  * Dean feeling bad for Crowley, all beaten up. I want more Dean and Crowley scenes.
  * “We’re not winning. We’re losing slowly.” – Aww Sam. :( I know this Lucifer arc is focused on Cas and Crowley, but for Sammy’s sake, too, I want Lucifer GONE.



**VERDICT:** Really liked the episode! I think I’m gonna need to watch it again.

[spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [spn season 12](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-12) [spn season 12 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-12-reviews) [12x07](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/12x07)[dean winchester](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/dean-winchester) [sam winchester](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/sam-winchester) [castiel](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/castiel) [all hail crowley](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/all-hail-crowley) [vincifer](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/vincifer)[he's a lumberjack and he's ok](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/he%27s-a-lumberjack-and-he%27s-ok) [spn fashion week](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-fashion-week)


	26. 12x08: LOTUS

Ok, so this ep has been meta’d to death already, but it’s time to throw in my two cents.

Well, it wasn’t completely terrible, even for a Buckleming. I think there’s definitely been worse, but yeah, definitely not a great episode. I remember seeing the summary or whatever awhile ago, before I even knew who was writing the episode, and I was just like  _That sounds super dumb_ , but I didn’t say anything because I hadn’t seen the episode and was hopeful they’d surprise me. They didn’t.

But, I try to be positive, on the whole, even if that doesn’t mean I ignore the bad.

**THE GOOD:**

  * Crowley: Man, I love this character. From the scene where he made that guy explode and Rowena claimed it was the sweetest thing he’s ever done for her, to this absolutely GOLD exchange: SAM: “Can we get the news without the drama?” CROWLEY: “Can I get you without the flannel? No!”, Crowley was possibly one of the best things of the episode.
  * BAMF!Castiel: 
    * Oh, you mortals have a grenade launcher? That’s cool. Imma just watch as you blow shit up. 
    * These aren’t the  ~~droids~~ humans you’re looking for.
      * BONUS: From a closet. 
    * “My name is Castiel.” Yeah, Cas ain’t having none of your shit, Ketch.
  * The grenade launcher and that silent exchange between the brothers – Dean’s “SEE SAM? OTHER PEOPLE GET TO USE GRENADE LAUNCHERS. STOP BEING SUCH A BUZZKILL JFC.” And Sam’s “Dude, I know, shut up.”
  * I don’t really like  _how_  it went down, but I’m actually kind of intrigued as to what them getting arrested and sent to a super secret prison is going to bring to the story. I’ve always wondered what the government must be up to when all this world-ending shit is going down (like, can the entire world  _really_  have Sunnydale Syndrome?), and I wish that Hendrickson’s story hadn’t been cut short.
    * Also, if there is some sort of government knowledge/involvement regarding the supernatural, I think it’d be an interesting dynamic or parallel, given we already have a bureaucratic organization in play with the BMoL.
    * And I’m kinda pumped for Mary and Cas teaming up to rescue the boys next episode. 



(The Bad and the Ugly under the cut)

**THE BAD (or just ok):**

  * The super religious president shtick. I dunno if this is really an issue with the episode or just commentary on the world we live in, but I honestly thought the creepiest part of the whole episode was when the entire staff knelt down to pray with the President/Prezifer like that. Like, not just bowed heads for a moment of prayer, but on the ground. Now let me be clear, I AM NOT AGAINST PEOPLE PRAYING OR RELIGION. We clear? K, good. I’m very Vonnegut when it comes to religion – believe in whatever gets you through the day and makes you a good person (I’m bastardizing  _Cat’s Cradle_  here – if you want my real views on this plus some Destiel, you can read my fic [“Harmless Untruths”](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F5619508&t=MzMyMDcxYmRkNThlNWM0ZTEyZDQ5MDY2NDRjMDQzYWU2MDJkMDdmMSxrQ3drUk94Mw%3D%3D&b=t%3AEfhZx9mrbYIhxW5MNPXDUQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fgrey2510.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F154264118828%2F12x08-lotus&m=1)). However, for a country that supposedly believes in a separation of church and state, I don’t think anyone can really say that that’s absolutely true in practice/reality. Hell, we still say “under God” in the Pledge of Allegiance in public schools. And, while I’m totally cool with the peaceful tenets of a religion, more often than not these days, politics has corrupted these messages and used them to justify laws that hurt or alienate people. And that’s not ok, and I’m sorry (no I’m not), but if that’s how you practice your religion, you’re doing it wrong or you need a better religion. So yeah, the kind of culty POTUS staff and the President’s prayer before being possessed that he wanted to make America more spiritual really rubbed me the wrong way. Again, not because of the religion and prayer, necessarily, but because of the association with the highest office of political power in America and how religion is often used negatively by people in positions of political power today.
  * Playing along with Ketch, even if for just right now. AND SAM WTF ARE YOU DOING CALLING MICK? Do you really think he’s on your side just because he reined in Toni?
    * In some ways, it’s fitting with Sam’s characterization. He’s the one who recruited Rowena to crack the Book of the Damned, for instance.
      * But still.
      * S12 is supposed to be about doing things BETTER and DIFFERENTLY.
    * Also, the egg thing just looked dumb. No offense to the props department, but yeah, not their best.
  * Continuity errors. It was day and now it’s night! Pacing – I can’t decide if it moved to quick or too slow or I dunno. Something was off. But that’s nothing new for this duo.
  * Why did they stick around with ol’ Jeff there? Why the hell wouldn’t they get out of dodge?
    * I mean, sure, Jeff just went through Hell and he’s obviously going to be messed up when he wakes up (even if he doesn’t remember anything), but he’s not alone. He’s the frickin’ President – he’s got a support system.
    * And if they were sticking around to check for Lucifer, and Lucifer was still in there, then this would still not be the time to deal with that issue. Time to get out and regroup.
  * Cas and Kelly’s conversation at the diner. I kind of see both of their points but still…It was kind of awkward and icky.
    * And Cas, you know better than to sit with your back to the direction that the person you’re supposed to be watching (and, oh yeah, is carrying the spawn of Satan) just walked in. C’mon, Agent Beyonce. Use your hunter skills.



**THE UGLY:**

Dear Buckleming,

Please stop writing scenes where your characters have sex under the following circumstances:

  * Possession
  * Mind altering drugs/hallucinogens ( _especially_  when not taken consensually)
  * Any sort of coercion 
  * Any situation where one or both parties doesn’t have control over their own body
  * Any situation where one or both parties isn’t 100% aware of who they are  _actually_  having sex with



We’re not saying you can never have a text that deals with these topics. But that’s the problem: you  _don’t_  deal with them. They just  _happen_  and then are treated as though that’s par for the course. You, as a writing team, are not capable of handling these topics appropriately, and therefore should not include them at all. 

Sincerely,

Everyone in the SPN community

PS. Cursed/abomination pregnancy storyline? Yeah, I got my fill of that with  _Angel_ , thanks. Didn’t like it then, don’t like it now.

PPS.  We would also appreciate if you considered some of your word choices more carefully. While we understand that this is a mature show with mature topics, there are times when we all scratch our heads and say “Really?  _That’s_  what you’re having the characters say?” (Such as Crowley’s “slutting around” line – I know he’s the King of Hell, but it just seemed unnecessary and weird.)

 

**Verdict:** It was ok.

 

And now hellatus!!!

Yay…

[spn season 12](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-12) [spn season 12 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-12-reviews) [spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [12x08](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/12x08)[also i have a new tag](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/also-i-have-a-new-tag) [prezifer](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/prezifer) [short lived](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/short-lived) [but whatevs](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/but-whatevs) [mr. ketch](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/mr.-ketch)[ketch](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/ketch)


	27. We’re the guys that saved the world - 12x09 Review

[Cas "This world, this sad doomed little world, it needs you" gif]

I just rewatched 12x09 and I really enjoyed it both times I watched it. Some thoughts along the way:

  * **Crowley:**
    * For someone who claims he doesn’t care that the Winchesters are locked up, he cares a lot. But what do you mean, Grey? He doesn’t even help Cas! You’re right. But:
      * He knows the Winchesters can take care of themselves. (He quoted Mr. T! Hahahaha)
      * Helping them doesn’t immediately benefit him, so letting them cool their jets for a bit in lockdown is probably a good situation for him: he can do whatever Hellish things he needs to do without them breathing down his neck. 
      * They’re not dead/in mortal peril, so it’s not like the world is permanently losing some important game pieces. If Crowley needs them, then he’ll make more of an effort to find them.
      * Also:  ** _he obviously did try to find them._  **As soon as Cas points out that Crowley has law enforcement contacts, Crowley says that wherever Dean and Sam are, it’s above his contacts’ paygrades,  ** _which means he must have already asked them._**
  * **Mary and Cas:**
    * Cas immediately called Mary!
    * Mary was at a diner in Lawrence. !!!!!!
    * It broke my heart to hear Mary blame everything on Cas at first and to see how Cas didn’t even argue the point. I am glad that Mary apologized, however, but we’re still a long way from getting Cas to feel that he’s valuable.
    * Cas’ inability to hunt. I’ve seen some people complain about how this is OOC or they’re tired of making Cas weak or whatever. But, that tracks for me. Cas isn’t as good of a hunter as Sam and Dean when it comes to the human interaction stuff. That doesn’t mean he hasn’t gotten a few wins under his belt (like how Vince’s bandmate called Cas and ended up being the only useful lead they had)–but this is still the guy who doesn’t get why Agent Beyonce is a bad alias name. Also  **Cas is depressed**. He’s completely off his game for a myriad of reasons.
      * Also, this was paralleled with the fact that Mary didn’t even know about the case in Missouri. Mary is a good hunter, but she’s not perfect (not that Sam and Dean are, either).
    * I like that Mary and Cas developed a closer relationship during this time.
    * “Seat belt on. I drive fast.” – I love this continued deconstruction of SAINT MARY THE BELOVED WIFE AND MOTHER ™. Because, at first, when she tells Cas to put on his seatbelt, your reaction is awww what a mom thing to say. But, no, this isn’t her mom-ing anyone. Because her next line is basically, because I’m a fucking badass and you better be able to keep up.
  * **The agents:**
    * I didn’t like the younger guy. I didn’t really get his motivations (the whole, “I wanted Dean to feel it” and wanting them to be punished thing)–and the older guy was right to call him out and be like, um, that’s fucked up, dude. 
      * Did Dean and Sam personally insult this guy in a former life? I mean, really, what’s up with that dude?
    * I kind of liked Mr. No Torture. He was kind of sassy.
    * Not technically an agent, but I really like Morgue Guy. Poor dude had a rough day.
  * **Dean and Sam: two sides of the same coin**
    * Dean and Sam’s reactions to being locked up are super interesting: Dean immediately disassociates and doesn’t react at all to Mr. No Torture’s little speech. Sam, however, is clearly upset: his eyes flick back and forth, his jaw works, he looks up at the guy when he’s told he’ll be left in isolation. What’s interesting about this, to me, is that most other cases, Dean is the one who fidgets/has more microexpressions while Sam is the still-waters-run-deep guy. 
      * Maybe part of this has something to do with the fact that Sam has been the one who has been more often locked inside his own body/mind? Also: his stint in Hell was very different than Dean’s: Sam was in The Cage, aka. the ultimate solitary confinement, with a being who had already been through millenia of that same prison sentence. 
      * I think that Dean’s disassociation is also just how Dean has learned to deal with his traumas because feeling all of that would be too much.
    * Dean vs. Sam with prison food: Sam is utterly disgusted, Dean’s like meh, could be worse. This brings back such 2x19 “Folsom Prison Blues” vibes for me:  _SAM: Dean, does it … bother you at all, how easily you seem to fit in here? DEAN: No, not really._
      * This might also play into the brothers’ different reactions to isolation: Sam might feel as though he deserves punishment for his sins, but that’s on a cosmic level. Being sent to prison is a more shameful punishment, especially for someone who has always been more “middle class”.
    * We all know that Dean wouldn’t have let Sam go with Billie. We all know that sure, being in isolation was torture, but at least 98% of Dean’s motivation for calling Billie and making that deal was to get Sam out of prison. Dean’s suffering in the prison wasn’t just that he was in prison, it was also the knowledge that his brother is suffering, too.
      * Sam kept pressing Dean to talk about it, and I really want to know what Sam would have said. Would he have agreed with Dean’s plan? Would he have offered to die himself? I can see arguments either way.
  * **“We’re not trapped out here with you. You’re trapped out here with us.”**
    * Yes. Good.
    * This whole hunt was excellent because it showed just how motherfucking scary the Winchesters are against normal humans. They get kicked around a lot on the show, and even when they win, it’s rarely pretty–but they’re usually fighting supernatural forces. The reality, though? The Winchesters are practically superhuman in their skills.
    * This was like Purgatory!Dean on Earth. Fuck, no wonder he survived that place.
      * Quick nod to the  _Cool Hand Luke_  reference. Well done.
    * I love how they let everyone live. It was perfect.
  * **The BMoL**
    * I loved Wally telling Mick to shove it. 
    * Mick saying that American hunters are surly made me think of possibly one of my favorite lines on this show: “THE BOBBYS ARE SURLY!”
      * Bobbies? Bobby’s? Ugh they all look wrong.
    * Mick saying that he’s here to make friends and Ketch looking at Cas like, “We are men of action. Lies do not become us.” – because yeah, Ketch doesn’t lie. He makes no secret of the fact that he’s there to do a job: kill anything evil. He’s a tool, a blunt instrument, and he doesn’t mind that. And he thinks Cas is the same.
      * And Cas isn’t. Not any more.
      * But he might not believe that about himself yet. And by might, I mean, he definitely doesn’t. Not 100%.
    * THEY DIDN’T KNOW THE STUPID EGG THING WAS FOR LUCIFER.
      * Which, ok, yeah, the Winchesters never mentioned that, but still IT’S LUCIFER. You’d think that these guys who claim that their whole job is to gather information (and then dole it out to the hunters to deal with) would know about the fucking Devil running around.
      * Just shows how little the BMoL know. And just how much they THINK they know.
    * Mary. Mary. Don’t be stupid. Don’t listen to Mick. You’re smarter than that.
  * **Brothers or something more? (Time for shipper goggles.)**
    * Obvious shippy stuff: Dean calls Cas repeatedly as soon as they’re out.
    * Dean and Cas in the backseat of the car – Dean Winchester willingly sitting in the backseat. Which, ok, could just be logistics: it’s Mary’s car, Sam’s a moose so he gets the front seat… 
      * But the looks between Dean and Cas? Yeah…
      * Dean looking at Cas like yeah, I’m sorry, there’s so much I would have liked to say or do…
      * And Cas looking like NO I HAVE LOST YOU TOO MANY TIMES WHAT DID YOU DO DEAN
    * AND LET’S NOT FORGET THE HUGS
      * Sam: Cas! Yes! I’ve missed you friend! Thank you and I’m glad for social interaction! Pat on the back hug and OH MOM HEY! TIME FOR A HUG FOR YOU TOO!
      * Dean: Cas?! Hand on the shoulder first, pull ya in slower. Hey, buddy. More hugging. And now I’m looking over your shoulder to make sure my brother and mom are ok, but before I move away to hug my mom, I’m still going to hold your shoulder and look you in the eye.
      * Also, I’m kind of anti-pet names and I know I know I know, everyone’s jumped on the sunshine bandwagon, but for me, Dean calling Cas “Buddy” isn’t friendzoning him. As my mother would say, it’s not what you say, but how you say it. If you didn’t hear the absolute affection in Dean’s voice, you need to get your ears checked.
  * **Billie**
    * I’m torn about Billie’s death.
    * Why I didn’t like it:
      * Her character could have had so much more potential than just the constant “throw you into the Empty” threat
      * [@proudfanboy](https://tmblr.co/m3hE9rRoktOkGMMFMVqeQIw) – I would’ve liked the Billie is a Time Lorded Death to be a thing
      * Representation, y’all. 
    * Why I was ok with it:
      * Narratively, given the deal they made, it had to happen.
      * I’m relieved that they didn’t kill off Mary to save her boys. If Mary dies, I want it to be like Bobby: not a sacrifice, not a fridging, just a realistic hey, this is the job and it sucks and people die.
        * Not that I want Mary to die. And I miss Bobby and didn’t want him to die either.
  * **“You mean too much to me.”**
    * I saved this for the end but HOLY FUCK CAS. *tears*
      * So many heartwrenching Cas moments this episode – him in the Bunker, him looking at the “real” Winchesters reuniting in the woods…
    * Now I’m seriously worried about the Cas-centric episodes because I think they’re gonna hurt like hell.
    * Not that I want anything to happen to Cas for killing Billie, but I’d kind of love it if Cas killing Billie isn’t a loophole/get out of jail free card  _because Cas is a Winchester so the deal still holds as do the consequences for breaking it._
    * The close up on Dean’s face right after Cas says he can’t lose any of the Winchesters and they mean too much for him. Yeah.
    * I love that Cas killing Billie is another example of how S11 and S12 have been all about doing things differently. Because before, one of the Winchesters would have died (for a little while) and there would have been angst and breaking the world to bring them back and the same old same old. Instead, Cas calls them out on the bullshit and says no. 
      * Although, if there are cosmic repercussions, you could make the argument that Cas breaking the world to save the Winchesters isn’t exactly a new idea…



Ok, well, I think that’s everything. (Translation: I probably missed stuff.)

On to next week!!

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	28. 12x10 Jealousy and Obsession vs. Love

Kudos to Steve Yockey. Well done, sir.

Also, I almost titled this “All the Gay”, but fun fact: that’s what I titled my review for 11x19  ~~“Meet the Hunter Husbands”~~ “The Chitters”.

Hmmmm…

[gif of Dean and Cas sitting waaaay too close in the diner]

Look at that smug motherfucker. Like,  _damn right, I don’t listen but you can’t stay mad at me forever and you wouldn’t have me any other way._

Anyway, more about the Destiel delightfulness at the end.

**ANGELS AND ADDICTIVE PERSONALITIES:**

  * Right off the bat, we’re shown Benjamin fairly obsessed with a video game, to the point where the poor guy running the place can’t get rid of him when the place closes. (Which is interesting for an angel who is later established to be very attuned with his vessel; one would think he would understand the social expectations.) The game, which seems to be just to destroy everything in your path (I suck at video games, so correct me if I’m wrong), and Benjamin’s addiction, is a great foreshadowing for Ishim’s story arc.
  * Similarly, we’re shown Ishim’s obsession with sugar. At first, Dean’s snarky comment about it is just that—snark and defensiveness about Cas (oh the hunter husbands!!)—but it’s also a pretty good symbol for Ishim’s obsession with Lily.
    * Also, the last angel we knew with a serious sweet tooth? Gabriel, back in his Trickster days. Pretty good warning that Ishim is tricking them/isn’t telling them the whole truth.
  * Castiel has also shown elements of an addictive personality:
    * End!verse Castiel was constantly high on, well, EVERYTHING
    * S11 Cas was deep into his depression, which he “coped" with by bingeing on Netflix and TV 24/7  
  * So, it really shouldn’t come as a surprise that Ishim’s “love" for Lily is completely unhealthy and one-sided. (And yes, I’m aware that obsession and addiction aren’t the same thing; I don’t have a psych degree, nor do I want one. That’s not the point of this.)



**“WHY DO HIS WORDS BOTHER YOU SO MUCH?”**

  * Ishim is a dark mirror for Castiel. Ishim “loved" Lily, but not in a healthy or not-stalkery/rapist way. Meanwhile, Cas… yeah, you see where I’m going with this.
  * Ishim also hates Dean (and Sam) right from the get go. On, the surface, this could be read as “Ishim hates humans", but as we learn more about his backstory, that’s not all of it. Ishim hates Dean because Dean obviously cares about Cas (who obviously cares about Dean). In Ishim’s mind, Dean represents what Lily should have felt for him.
    * Of course, Lily doesn’t owe Ishim anything. I’m not agreeing with Ishim’s perspective by any means, just explaining.
  * But, when Lily rejects him, Ishim takes that as “all humans are sucky and not worthy of the love we bestow on them.” Because, again, Ishim’s a fucking creep and thinks love is an automatic quid pro quo. It’s not. So, Ishim, who was originally willing to tell a mere human all of angels’ secrets, makes Lily’s rejection the basis for his entire worldview when it comes to humans.
  * Ishim is, in a very twisted way, envious of Cas. And fucking terrified that his entire mantra, his entire street cred (which, as Lily points out, is pretty sizeable) will fall apart if it’s true that a human can love an angel and be loyal. And, he’s also fucking angry because he didn’t get that.
  * Also, going along with obsession: Ishim has a weird obsession with Cas. Cas used to “belong" to Ishim, used to take orders from him. There is no way that Ishim would like someone who usurps his position of power.
    * Not that Dean and Sam “own" Cas, nor does Cas take orders from them. But, they have way more influence on his life than Ishim does now.



**POWER, WISDOM, AND REVENGE:**

  * Sam and Dean are the only ones for whom power isn’t really the main concern here. They operate much as the same as the always do, and they don’t work particularly hard to gain more power over their enemies.
    * Dean, for instance, doesn’t use the banishing sigil.
    * This is also unlike last week where the brothers use their connections to get out of the cells and then have a DISTINCT advantage over the soldiers (and holy fuck I’m still not over how badass they are).
    * Their power, if anything, is emotion and communication (which is fucking hilarious and amazingly awesome, given the past 11 seasons). But more on this later.
  * Cas vs. Ishim:
    * Ishim is weakened during his fight with Lily, and Cas must heal him, putting Cas in a physically weakened state.
    * The two of them are constantly seesawing in power throughout the episode.
    * Ishim tries to convince Cas that humans make angels weak, but Cas disagrees—and Cas is proven right by the end of the episode. 
  * Lily mentions her power at least twice, saying she “isn’t powerless anymore" and that she “will never be powerless again.”
    * What’s interesting, is that Lily’s power comes from knowledge. Sure, she can do cool stuff with her grace power up, but she got that power from studying. She was a professor (and can we talk about how she was a fucking PROFESSOR IN 1901!!!).
    * But, the knowledge comes with a price.
      * Ok, Norse mythology nerds: there’s gotta be something to be said here about Odin giving up an eye for wisdom. This isn’t my area of expertise, though, but I hope someone does something with this.
    * Gender dynamics and agency: Lily, as a single mother in 1901, even as a professor, didn’t have much power. Not from angels, probably not from society. There’s a reason she needed Akobel and why after the death of her family, she decided she could never let her be in such a powerless position again.
  * Lily pulling an Inigo saying all she knows is revenge.
    * If the revenge hadn’t been directed at Cas, I would have expected Dean to ask, “Have you ever considered piracy?”
    * Cas saying he understands if she decides she can’t let him live and comes for him someday. Oh, my heart.



**THE POWER OF ~~PRAYER~~ TALK:**

  * As I said before, Sam and Dean’s power is emotional and communicative. THEY ACTUALLY FUCKING TALKED. (Well, after the silent treatment stuff, but I’ll get to that.)
  * Their plan of “attack" with Lily is try and talk her down, get to her on a emotional, sympathetic level.
    * 11x23 2.0 — a nice carryover of themes.
  * THEY TELL CAS THAT HE IS IMPORTANT AND STRONG AND FAMILY AND MEANS A LOT TO THEM AND THAT HIS LIFE ISN’T MEANINGLESS AND I’M STILL FLAILING ABOUT THIS SCENE.
  * THANK YOU STEVE YOCKEY.



**SAINT SAMMY AND THE HUNTER HUSBANDS!!!!!!!!!!!:**

  * Someone please sit Jensen down and fucking show him this episode, or like, any episode, and ask him how he thinks Destiel isn’t real.
    * Ok, sorry. Going to avoid the actor wank. I just find it hilarious that he’s like “yep, totes platonic bros" and then films this glorious episode.
  * Seriously. Saint Sammy the Third Wheel. Everything about Sam was gold here:
    * Trying to get Dean and Cas to talk
    * Calling them on their bullshit
    * Calling Dean on his bullshit
    * But still totally having Dean’s back when he goes all protective about his husband
  * THE BOOTH
  * [gif of TFW sitting way too close in booth; Cas saying "These are my friends"]


  * So many moments. Just. So many. I’m sure I’ve reblogged a bunch already.
    * But how about one more…
    * Like, seriously, Jensen – are you even aware of your face?
    * [gif of Dean's face doing a journey of feels]


  * Also, in case this wasn’t obvious by now: ISHIM CONSIDERED DEAN TO BE CAS’ LILY.
    * Again, Ishim’s views on love are incredibly fucked up.
    * BUT he goes after Cas, wants him to experience heartbreak, the same way he did. And so he goes after Dean.
  * Seriously, Yockey, who in the fandom slipped you a few twenties and can I get in on this action.



**MISC THOUGHTS:**

  * Minor quibble: I didn’t really like the acting in the flashback section, particularly Lily’s. Like, Ishim forcing her away from her daughter and her all stiff armed and like OH NOOOOOOOoooooooo … I kind of laughed. It was just so hokey.
  * Female Cas! Well done, casting department.
  * I was originally pissed for half a second about the nephilim plot because all the other angels were like WHAT A NEPHILIM WHERE when like two episodes ago we had Cas practically get an aneurysm over the conception of Rosemary’s Baby. So how would all of them have missed that celestial memo when the kid was born a few years before?
    * But then I took a breather during the awkward exposition dump conversation and guessed that it wouldn’t be a nephilim. And I was right! Go me.
    * But, I do like how this story does bring up the questions we all had at the end of 12x08 about Luci’s kiddo — what are they going to do about it?



Ok, I could be here all day. This episode is gonna give us so much to talk about!!

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	29. 12x11 Down the Rabbit Hole

While Meredith Glynn certainly had a better time around with this episode than her first, and while I enjoyed it (is enjoyed the right word for having your heart break? Of course it is…this is SPN…), there were a few things I would have liked to see expanded on. Overall, though, it was a solid episode, and while a lot of this season has been making callbacks to Season 6 (I believe [@elizabethrobertajones](https://tmblr.co/mgG_5cqPDBqPGN1DslU_e6Q) and [@mittensmorgul](https://tmblr.co/mH08bFF21ewTCayiwIXZEOg) have been talking about this a lot), this one is an interesting companion piece to some Season 4 episodes, namely 4x06 “Yellow Fever" and 4x17 “It’s a Terrible Life" (with honorable mention to 4x14 “Sex and Violence" for the siren reference — although, considering the way Dean was queer coded in this episode, “honorable mention" might not do it justice). **  
**

My thoughts under the cut:

**GO ASK ALICE:**

  * Right off the bat, we get references to  _Alice in Wonderland_ , so it’s obvious that Dean will be “tumbling down the rabbit hole":
    * The bunny (IT MUST BE BUNNIES!), while not white, is definitely an Alice visual cue
    * They’re in Carroll County, Arkansas
  * Speaking of “tumbling down the rabbit hole", which is a quote from  _The Matrix_ (which uses a lot of  _Alice_  imagery and metaphor): Dean and Sam’s conversation at the end echoes these themes of ignorance may be bliss, but it’s not what’s worth living for
    * It’s the choice that Morpheus offers Neo (the red pill, blue pill conversation), it’s the choice that Cypher goes back on when he decides to reenter the Matrix
      * Oh and as for casting — the guy who played Cypher is also in  _Memento_ , which this episode draws heavily from. Except, in  _Memento,_  Leonard chooses ignorance because solving his wife’s murder case gives him a purpose
    * This choice is practically TFW’s rallying cry: peace or freedom? Humanity, the ideal according to the show, is only “perfect" because of its mix of good and bad.
  * While (as far as I know) this isn’t a reference to  _Alice in Wonderland_ , the name Alice also made me think of the book  _Still Alice_ , which is about a woman’s experiences with early onset Alzheimer’s (I think she’s in her 50s?). I haven’t read the book, but I know my mom did right after we put my grandmother in a home because her dementia had progressed really badly. My mom said it was powerful and really helped her understand that my grandmother is still my grandmother in many ways, that there are parts of her still in there. I dunno if Meredith Glynn was intending this connection, but it certainly seems relevant.



**“YELLOW FEVER", “IT’S A TERRIBLE LIFE", AND “REGARDING DEAN": DECONSTRUCTING THE PERFORMANCE:**

  * Quick shout out for the rock aliases, Moon and Entwistle.  _“Who are you? Who who, who who?”_
  * I am 100% on board for deconstructing performing!Dean. If I had to quibble with how this was handled in this episode, however, it’s that Sam (and Rowena) is the only one who really sees this.
    * I really wish Cas could have been in this episode because I would have LOVED to know how Dean would react to Cas. Although, maybe Cas deserves a break because he’s had a rough go of it lately and this wouldn’t do him any favors.
    * Or Mary — Jesus, could you imagine what she would think? Because there were times that Dean was like a kid again, and you know Mary’s been looking for any flashes of that four year old she once knew.
  * Reverse “Yellow Fever": Dean with the flashlight was a nice reference to 4x06, but what’s interesting is how he has exact opposite reactions to his life in these two episodes. In 4x06, he says they’re “crazy people" for going out and hunting monsters, while in 12x11, he’s proud of what he does and says they sound like heroes. Yes, sweetie, you ARE a hero. Even your dad said so (yeah, I’m talking about Bobby).
    * Also in 4x06, Dean voices all of his fears about himself: he thinks he’s annoying for listening to the same five tapes all the time and singing along badly and driving too fast.
    * Meanwhile, in 12x11, he forgets that there are things that are “unmanly" and so we get another glimpse behind the curtain at the real Dean:
      * the one who likes chick-flicks and Pixar 
      * the one who’s practically giddy over how bouncy some girl’s hair is (because he doesn’t know who Rowena is)
      * the one who doesn’t object to being handed a doll to play with (granted, it’s a voodoo doll and he’s given needles to stab it with, but performing!Dean would’ve scoffed at the whole doll premise to begin with, and this Dean doesn’t attack the doll, not really)
      * the one who thinks Scooby Doo is the height of entertainment
  * Know who also didn’t object to “unmanly" things? Dean Smith. The dude drove a Prius, wore suspenders, owned a frou-frou coffee maker, watched  _Project Runway_ , liked doing juice cleanses…
    * And that couldn’t have been all Zachariah. For one, he didn’t need to create that kind of persona for Dean. Dean still could have been a business guy and good at his job without all of that.
    * Also, it’s not like he changed Sam’s personality for his IT job. Sam was still Sam, as we know him.
  * Also with 4x17: the whole point of Zachariah’s little game was to show Dean that he always makes it back to hunting, even without his real memories. And here, even when he can’t remember his own name, or even how to speak (I’m assuming here, based on the fact he doesn’t say anything until he’s cured), he still storms into a house and takes out a coupla witches.
  * Dean rode Larry. At a place with a Pickle Jack Shack.
    * Seriously, though, what were the director’s notes for that scene? Especially at the end?
    * Good and bad of this: what’s good/interesting is that Dean does this before he gets mind-wiped (although, let’s also notice that Sam—or anyone else he cares about—wasn’t around to judge him for it); what’s bad is that the obvious innuendo is played for laughs and after twelve seasons…well…
  * So who is Dean? Who would Dean be without the weight of all he’s done?
    * I’m reminded of one of those Most Interesting Man in the World commercials: “He’s a lover, not a fighter, but he’s a fighter, too, so don’t get any ideas.” And that is Dean in a nutshell.
    * He’s a fighter: he thinks hunting sounds awesome and heroic, he doesn’t stay in the car, he’s still (kinda) insulted when Baby is called stupid, he likes his booze and women and a good time (no matter how much he’s “grown up" in this regard, he’s still Dean)
    * He’s a lover (in non romantic senses here): I think the best example of this is during his interactions with Rowena (I’ll talk about this later)



 

**THE BATHROOM SCENES:**

  * What a weird title for this section, but yeah…you know what I mean. Yay SPN. We have The Crypt Scene and now The Bathroom Scene. One of these things just doesn’t have the same gravitas. Someone come up with a better name. ANYWAY…
  * I know why they didn’t show Sam telling Dean EVERYTHING. There’s way too much material (again, fan fic writers — GO!), but god, were they able to break our hearts in the little bit we did see. You can just see Dean caving in on himself under the weight of everything. And poor Sam having to explain this to him, knowing Dean won’t remember.
  * DEAN AND THE MIRROR. Oh god. Just. All the tears. I don’t think I have the words to do that scene and Jensen’s acting justice.



**ROWENA AND DEAN:**

  * Rowena telling Dean her backstory — I want more with witches vs. MoL!! We were given a peek at this way back in Season 10, and we’ve been given little bits and pieces of Rowena and the Grand Coven (and her failed Mega Coven), but I want to delve deeper into this world. Now that we have the BMoL in the picture, maybe that’s something we’ll see?
  * Rowena’s backstory: is it any wonder she’s always gone after power? She’s like Lily Sunder saying “I’ll never be powerless again.” I’m not saying Rowena’s excused or forgiven for all that she’s done, but god, she did not have it easy:
    * Abandoned by the father of her child because she was too poor
    * Run out of town until a nice (Polish?) family took her in
    * Run out of the country by the BMoL
    * Rejected by the Loughlins — even after she begged and offered herself in every way to them
      * Yeah, let’s think about this. Rowena, badass and powerful witchy queen we’ve all grown to love (and I mean that literally: I didn’t like her at all at first) begging and ready to sell herself for power…and she was still told she wasn’t good enough


  * I liked her reflection on how if God and Amara couldn’t be happy, or satisfied, with all the power in the universe, that maybe she needs to look elsewhere
    * Also kudos to Jensen for Dean’s little  _wait, what??_  when Rowena casually mentions meeting God and his sister
  * “I think you’ve got plenty of snuff.” I LOVED this interaction between Dean and Rowena because this is just who Dean is 100%. He doesn’t know that he’s not supposed to like or trust Rowena. All he hears is her tragedy and he’s empathetic and wants her to feel better about herself.
    * It reminds me of 9x13 “The Purge" when Dean tells Donna that Doug’s a dick and she deserves better (while Sam gives a polite sorry). Except Donna’s not evil and is a ray of fucking sunshine.
  * Rowena hating having to explain that Dean’s a “good guy", even if he’s a killer. Her disgusted eye roll was great. As was Dean’s “and that’s supposed to make it better?” — like I said, he’s a lover, not a fighter, but he’s a fighter, too.



**MISC OTHER THOUGHTS:**

  * Ya know, I wouldn’t have picked Leslie Knope for my Dean  _Parks and Rec_  counterpart, but after Dean professed his undying love of waffles, I might have to reconsider.
  * [gif of Leslie Knope eating waffles in hospital bed]



The waitress: I actually liked her, even though I was prepared to hate her/dismiss her entirely after the promo. But she didn’t feel like just a stock character. Also, kudos for them bringing up the issue of consent (although, I would have liked them to reassure her after watching the video that anything they did was pre-”roofies", so she doesn’t have to feel guilty).

  * Dean mentions that their best friend is an angel right after they see a red handprint on a tree.
  * Sam once again goes for the magical solution and ends up with the Black Grimoire at the end— and Rowena’s questions about whether she’s finally made it into his contacts (and maybe with a unique ringtone) is another point in the column for Sam and associations with magic/witches
  * Speaking of contacts: the fact that Sam texts Mary and Cas once Dean’s phone is broken is an interesting commentary on how Dean relates to people vs. how Sam relates to people. Sam, for being the “people person" of the two brothers—at least, that’s how they define themselves—is far more insular. Still waters run deep and all. But Dean’s obviously the one still keeping in contact with Mary and Cas, and in 12x09, Alicia called Dean’s phone, even though in 12x06, Sam is the one who interacted with the twins far more. Sam needs a friend.
    * *cough cough* Eileen *cough cough*
    * Oh and he needs a dog. I don’t even like dogs, but Sam needs one.



Overall, a good episode. The absolute delight of 12x10 is hard to follow up, but I think 12x11 did an admirable job and certainly holds its own.

Now, instead of just peeking behind the very threadbare curtain of performing!Dean, someone needs to rip it down. There’s no way there’s enough room back there for Dean, Jensen, and the show producers/writers.

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	30. 12x11 anon ask

**Anonymous**  asked:

I was wondering what you thought about Sam in this episode? (12.11) You didn't really mention him in your review so I'm curious :)

 

___

Oh good question, nonny! I guess I did get kind of wrapped up in my Dean and Rowena stuff…

First of all, tip of the cap to Jared on being able to convey his utter heartbreak in such a subdued “Sam” way. I think because Dean is more emotive, we sometimes forget about Jared’s subtle performances. But, like Sam’s reaction at the end when Dean and Rowena are coming down the stairs? God, Jared nailed that – the worry, the relief, all of it.

I have noticed a couple posts floating around (mostly anon asks) saying that Sam was cold or should’ve picked up on the fact that Dean was obviously losing it a lot faster and done something about it…

And well, they kind of have a point. He was easily frustrated with Dean, especially at first. But, you have to keep in mind a couple of things, the first being that Sam is the younger brother and all his life, he’s expected Dean to a) take care of him b) be able to bounce back and take care of himself. And, for a while, Sam’s under the impression that Dean’s drunk/hungover (and considering he did do 4 tequila shots the night before, and considering Dean’s history, it’s not a bad assumption to make).

But even after they realize Dean’s been hexed, Sam is still frustrated. At which point, we have to remember Sammy Jankis.

(If you haven’t seen  _Memento_ , I’m sorry – I’ll try not to spoil anything major, but no promises.)

So, this episode draws pretty heavily from  _Memento,_  which is about a guy named Leonard who has no short term memory, due to an injury on the night his wife was attacked. The whole movie chronicles him trying to find his wife’s attacker, despite his memory limitations. Leonard often refers to Sammy Jankis, a man with a similar memory issue that Leonard once investigated pre-injury as part of his job in insurance.

In Leonard’s telling of the story, however, he focuses a great deal on Sammy’s wife. According to Leonard, Sammy’s wife had a lot of difficulty coming to terms with the new Sammy. She’d look at him and see the man she loved and married, and he would look at her and know he loved her (he could remember everything up to the accident that injured his brain), but he couldn’t learn anything new. Leonard explains that Sammy’s wife loved him, but she kept hoping and expecting that Sammy would just snap out of it…but he never did. So she’d test him and try to force him to remember (she’d make him hide food around the house and see if getting hungry enough would make him remember where he put it, for instance). It’s a heartbreaking story – especially by the end of the movie – but as Leonard says, she did it out of love, not because she was evil.

And I think that’s what Sam was experiencing. He’d get flashes of DEAN…and then it’d all slip away. All he wants is his brother to snap out of it, to get better, because he knows/thinks Dean’s in there still and if Sam could just do something to jog Dean’s memory, get him back on track, break through the spell… but nothing does except undoing the original hex.

Sam’s not intentionally mean. He’s scared, hurt, and upset. He even admits to Rowena that Dean dying violently, like he has before, would be preferable to watching Dean slip away into nothing.

(And if anyone has ever dealt with a family member with dementia or Alzheimer’s… yeah. It’s horrible and you want to be frustrated and you want to just shake them and be like BUT YOU RECOGNIZED THIS YESTERDAY but you can’t. Because it’s not their fault and doing that won’t fix anything. My mom and I talk about this a lot with my grandmother. She doesn’t know who I am, and out of all her grandchildren, I spent the most time with her/took care of her. Most days, she knows my mom and my aunt “belong to her” but she has no idea how. She doesn’t recognize pictures of my grandfather. She was always so artistic and now all she can do is children’s coloring pages – barely. But then on some days, she’s lucid and knows my mom is her daughter and gets excited about music (she always had classical music playing in the background of her house). And the next day, nothing. I have so much respect for the care staff for what they do and how they keep it together because it’s gotta be like teaching preschool in reverse, because no matter what you do, they don’t learn anything new, only lose what they had, until finally… Yeah. It sucks all around.)

Anyway, Sam’s in a horrible position and I can’t fault him at all for being frustrated. He’s human.

And if anyone thinks that Sam didn’t care or could have done better, well, no. You’re entitled to your opinion, but you’re wrong. :)

Hope that answers your question, nonny! Sam deserves way more love and credit than he gets.

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	31. 12x12 Reservoir Dogs

[http://cinemalogue.com/2012/10/23/reservoir-dogs-retro/ ](http://cinemalogue.com/2012/10/23/reservoir-dogs-retro/)

 

 

 

Author’s note: the content of this editorial contains numerous “spoilers”. “Gay subtext always makes every movie better.” – Quentin Tarantino The brilliance of Quentin Tarantino’s Reservoir Dogs is exemplified by the profound and intimate relationship portrayed between “Mr. Orange” (aka Freddy Newendyke) and “Mr. White” (aka Larry Dimmick). Through the lens of their interactions, the …

**12x12 MINI REVIEW: DESTIEL THE CREAMSICLE**

If you haven’t seen  _Reservoir Dogs_ and don’t care about having that movie spoiled, click the link above. Otherwise, a lot of this won’t make any sense.

First off, Mary as Mr. Pink:

  * At first Mary looks like she’s going to be Mr. White, plot-wise: she’s there when Cas gets injured and brings him to the barn.
  * But from the beginning, we should know she’s Mr. Pink. In  _RD_ , the diner scene establishes that Mr. Pink is the asshole (he refuses to tip the waitress and thinks tipping is bullshit – and given the diner scene in 12x12, there’s a metric ton we could talk about here), and while I’m not saying Mary is an asshole, she does do a LOT of shady crap in this episode. And, we do get this sense in the diner: she’s the one who wants nothing to do with the waitress conversation at  _all_  (Sam is even at least willing to engage in the stupid bickering), and we get this with the shot of Mary and Wally in the car casing Ramiel’s place. (Which, weirdly, is an Orange/White scene in  _RD_ , although that kind of feeds into the vibes of something I don’t really want to think too hard about that I got from Mary/Wally, like how Wally says he’s heard how proud of Sam and Dean Mary is – like, awkward step-dad thing. ANYWAY.)
  * Also, Mr. Pink is the one who steals the diamonds AND is the one who gets away with the diamonds at the end (although, he’s most likely killed off-screen at the end, but it’s uncertain).
    * Mary is our thief and she gets away with the Colt.
  * Mr. Pink only cares about himself – and his only interest in helping out the other guys is if it helps him.
    * Mary doesn’t confess about the Colt either time she’s prompted to.



Dean and Cas as Mr. White and Mr. Orange:

  * So, Cas is obviously our Mr. Orange. While in  _RD_ , Mr. Orange is our undercover cop (and technically the “bad guy”/rat), Cas isn’t the rat. BUT, Mr. Orange is a cop, who should be “better” than the criminals/other guys on the job, but who ends up “falling”: he gets emotionally attached to  ~~Mr. White~~  the other guys he’s working with on this heist, and he ends up killing a civilian.
    * And I shouldn’t have to spell it out, but Cas –> angel –> falls for  ~~Dean~~  humanity –> does some stuff he regrets
  * Mr. White is SUPER attached to Mr. Orange (seriously, read the article or watch the movie, it’s barely  _sub_ text) and refuses to let Mr. Orange think he’s going to die. Mr. White stays with him, defends him against others, is absolutely  _heartbroken_  when Mr. Orange reveals with his dying breaths that he’s actually the cop (which he does only be  _apologizing_ )….
    * And again, I shouldn’t have to spell it out, but: Dean is the one who immediately takes over care duties when he and Sam get to the barn, he’s the one who tells Cas he isn’t going to die, he’s the one who tells off Crowley when he thinks Crowley isn’t being helpful…
  * And this isn’t even getting into (in much detail), Cas’ “I love you, I love all of you” speech, or the fact that after Cas speaks, the camera continually goes to DEAN for a reaction, or Mary watching Dean’s reaction, or Crowley’s “you’re welcome [for saving Cas]” directed at Dean…



TL;DR: Destiel = Orange/White = Creamsicle

[it's not even subtext anymore](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/it%27s-not-even-subtext-anymore) [like holy shit](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/like-holy-shit) [spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [12x12](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/12x12)[destiel](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/destiel) [reservoir dogs](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/reservoir-dogs) [mary winchester](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/mary-winchester) [spn season 12 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-12-reviews)


	32. 12x12 aka LET DAVY PEREZ AND RICHARD SPEIGHT RULE SPN

OH AND STEVE YOCKEY CAN COME, TOO. Even though he didn’t have anything to do with this episode, I am 100% all aboard the Yockey train.

*ahem*

So. This episode. Whoa.

I already did my [ ** _Reservoir Dogs_  Dean/Cas = Mr. White/Mr. Orange meta here**](http://grey2510.tumblr.com/post/157340506918/reservoir-dogs-the-power-of-its-homoerotic#notes), although I admit it was written quickly and there’s probably a few metric tons of stuff to meta on that front, but yeah, it lays it out pretty succinctly. Oh and I talk about how Mary is Mr. Pink. So this is going to mostly skip that.

Also, full disclosure: I’ve had a cold all week and might be a little feverish at the moment? So I hope this makes sense and isn’t horribly riddled with typos. 

Anywho… 

(rest under the cut)

There’s so much to talk about and so many people have already made a huge dent in the meta in the time it took for me to rewatch it a second time and come down from the flailing of last night. I’m going to try and just focus on a few things, otherwise we’d be here all night.

(Who am I kidding? This is gonna be super long…)

**MARY: LIKE FATHER LIKE DAUGHTER**

  * So, if anyone wasn’t convinced yet that S12 is a S6 redux (and hopefully carrying over S11′s theme of doing things different), well, we now have our Samuel Campbell.
  * Now, I just want to make it clear:  **I LIKE MARY.**  What I’m going to say isn’t wanky. It’s just ANALYSIS.
  * Mary and Samuel were both thrown into a world they don’t understand and they therefore do the one thing they  _do_  know: hunt. But the landscape’s changed, so the deals and allies they’re making aren’t good. Samuel works for Crowley so he can get Mary back. Mary works for the BMoL because she needs direction, purpose, and resources; they can provide it without the baggage of her past.
  * I know everyone is super excited about Mary calling Cas one of her boys, and my Destiel senses are screaming MOTHER-IN-LAW. But there’s also a part of me that thinks  _you haven’t really earned that maternal role._  Sure, she works with Cas to get Sam and Dean back, but then she bails right after. It’s what she keeps doing. And I get it, I do. This is A LOT to deal with, her two little boys are no longer two little boys, she’s only mentally 28/29, etc. But, she hasn’t really done much to try and connect with the people they are today. Sure, she and Dean play Words with Friends. But, that’s about it. And Mary and Sam? Yeah, unless they’ve been texting off screen or something, I don’t think there’s any real relationship there at all beyond “this is my family”. I’m not saying they don’t care about each other, I’m just saying they don’t have the kind of relationship that say, Jody, has with the brothers. (Speaking of the good sheriff, WHY HAVEN’T CAS AND JODY MET????)
  * Anyway, what all of this boils down to is how all I can think of is Samuel saying to Dean and Sam, “What exactly are you supposed to be to me?” Obviously, Samuel had even less connection with the boys than Mary does, but there’s still a real disconnect here, and when it’s finally revealed that Mary was working with the BMoL and stole the Colt, I wonder how that’s going to impact each member of TFW. ([More thoughts, and not just mine, on this here.](http://grey2510.tumblr.com/post/157368650703/mittensmorgul-grey2510-mittensmorgul-okay))



**THE BMoL AND THE BAD INTEL**

  * Once again, we have this reoccurring theme that the BMoL know A LOT less than they think they do. And this kind of blind arrogance is super fucking dangerous; this time, it gets someone killed and nearly kills Cas.
  * Just to recap:
    * They had no idea the Holy Hand Grenade stupid egg thing was for Lucifer. As in, they seemingly had no idea that fucking LUCIFER was out and about.
    * They don’t obviously know about the  _Supernatural_ books (for instance, Toni’s case board had Castiel listed as Cassiel, and Mick and Arthur Ketch were more like oooh an angel not OOOH IT’S CASTIEL; if they’d read the books, they’d’ve known EXACTLY who Cas is). They are therefore less informed about the Winchesters and their exploits than Becky Rosen.
      * Let me repeat: BECKY FREAKING ROSEN LIKELY KNOWS MORE THAN THE BMOL.
      * This also means they’re probably completely unaware of the fact that Chuck = God.
    * They didn’t know who/what Ramiel was. He’s a Prince of Hell, not some lowlife minion. Where did they get their intel that they passed on to Mary – AND WHY DIDN’T THEY VET IT?
      * Maybe this is some super meta commentary on fake news? lol ok I’m rambling now…
  * They’re recruiting less experienced hunters. Wally hunts rugarus. He’d never come up against a demon. Mary, while experienced with hunting in general, is inexperienced with the 21st century. These are the kinds of hunters that are easier prey (or at least, they expect them to be) for their sales pitch because these are the hunters that might not realize the BMoL aren’t as all-knowing as they pretend to be. They’re just flashy and speak with (to American ears) posh accents so they sound more informed and intelligent.
    * (Of course, that rubs people like Wally the wrong way. ‘MURICA.)
    * But they’re not going after the heavy hitters: they’re hoping they can work from the ground up.
  * Ketch says he knows all about the Colt. I wonder how far that knowledge goes. Like, does he know how the Winchesters have used it? 
    * Either her did and didn’t tell Mary because he didn’t want her to reveal anything Sam and Dean.
    * Or he has no idea.
    * Could go either way here.



**NEW LORE!! AND IT MAKES SENSE!! ALSO – PRINCES AND ARCHANGELS??**

  * Introducing the Princes of Hell as Azazel’s siblings actually works beautifully. It explains why Azazel was the way he was, and it adds a cool new dimension to the lore that I’m excited to see play out.
  * Cattle mutilations. Ok, this part of demon lore I have NEVER understood, especially given the demons we see as the series progresses. And we never hear  _why_  these demons are mutilating cattle. Like, seriously, what’s the point? Is there some sort of magic? Is it just for funsies or as a calling card? I dunno. It never made sense to me. But, what is interesting is that it’s mostly associated with Azazel’s reign of influence: it’s what John used to track Azazel down. We haven’t really heard much of it lately, though (except in maybe a passing question to a witness/police officer, and the answer is generally “no”, whether demons are there or not). But Wally mentions cattle mutilations when he’s trying to sell his story for why TFW has been called in. Sam calls it a “classic” demon sign, which could mean typical, or could mean  _old_ _._ Obviously, there were no cattle mutilations and it’s just something Wally made up, but it’s a great foreshadowing of who they’re going to run up against.
  * The Princes and the Archangels: each of them seems to be aligned/connected with an archangel. I’ve seen some different versions of this, but here’s my take on it:
    * Azazel – Lucifer (as Ramiel says, Azazel was a fanatic)
    * Ramiel – Michael (has the lance, has the painting, stabs Cas who is our other fallen/rebellious angel/God’s favorite)
    * Dagon – Gabriel? (wanted to stay out of things but when Lucifer/Lucifer’s kiddo starts throwing the world into chaos, gets involved)
      * Also, Ramiel says Dagon has her “toys”, which for a Prince of Hell can’t be anything good or wholesome, but toys and play seem very Gabrielish (Gabrielesque?)
    * Asmodeus – Raphael (TBD why)



**SAM AND LUCIFER**

  * Sam uses  _Michael’s_  lance to kill a demon. I love the inversion – you’d expect Dean to because he’s always been associated with Michael, but on the other hand, Dean always  _rejects_  Michael. In fact, Dean only takes up the lance  _after it’s broken._
  * The lance was designed for one thing: killing Lucifer. I hope that Sam using the lance foreshadows Sam finally getting closure for all the shit Lucifer’s put him through.
  * The fact that Lucifer is back and in the form that tormented Sam – hoo boy. This is gonna hurt.



**CAAAAAAAS**

Oh boy, where to start?

  * Stabbed in the side: nice Christ imagery
  * CAS SAID HE LOVED THEM AND THAT THEY ARE HIS FAMILY.
    * I’m kind of with [@awed-frog](https://tmblr.co/myXYn5QAGQtP3DRI5gEV77Q) about whether or not the first “I love you” was directed at Dean, but I also see the case in support of Destiel. The story we’re getting through editing and camera work is that even if Cas didn’t say it directly to Dean, Dean reacted to the words  _very_  differently than anyone else. However, I also think her points about how it would be translated are interesting. [Check out her review here.](http://awed-frog.tumblr.com/post/157373651752/stuck-in-the-middle-with-youawesome-crowley)
  * So much Destiel stuff, but other people have talked about it in great detail. [Check out this post, for example.](http://randomdestielfangirl.tumblr.com/post/157345318066/destiel-moments-in-spn-12x12)



**THE DINER SCENE: SOME _RESERVOIR DOGS_ COMPARISONS**

  * The diner scene in this is great for a lot of reasons, especially when comparing it to  _Reservoir Dogs._  As I mentioned in my [Destiel = White/Orange post](http://grey2510.tumblr.com/post/157340506918/reservoir-dogs-the-power-of-its-homoerotic#notes), it also helps establish Mary as our (less horrible) Mr. Pink. I should have also mentioned that it helps establish Dean and Cas as Mr. White and Mr. Orange respectively since Dean takes the most interest in Cas/Cas’ situation because of course he does.
    * “My shy but devastatingly handsome friend…” – STILL CAN’T GET OVER THIS LINE
  * MANDY THE WAITRESS.
    * Mandy gets her own bullet point because the topic of waitresses is the crux of the  _Reservoir Dogs_  diner scene.
    * What’s great about the  _RD_ scene is that it uses a discussion about waitresses to establish which of these hardened criminals – all men – we’re supposed to like and who we’re supposed to dislike. Mr. Pink doesn’t tip and thinks that women who are waitresses should “learn to fucking type” if they want to make a living wage. Everyone else at the table basically thinks that he’s the biggest douchecanoe ever for this position. Mr. White tries to explain how these women  _depend_  on these jobs and these tips and that the work that waitresses do is difficult enough as it is – it’s worthy of their tips. Even though the waitress doesn’t speak for herself, her position is given voice and value. (Sure, we can talk about how women should be the ones allowed to tell their story, but the fact that these men, except for Mr. Pink, even care at all is pretty good in my book.)
    * Mandy, in this scene, is given a voice, and she has the power in the situation:
      * She’s the one who immediately shoots down Dean’s (rather harmless) attempt at charm when he asks about her name – and I don’t think he was saying it with any real flirtatious intent: Dean’s a charmer, that’s just what he  _does_ , and he backs off right away when she’s like NOPE. 
      * She’s the one who openly flirts with Cas and takes the initiative there. 
      * When Dean coaches Cas, he acknowledges that waitresses get hit on all the time, so the usual dumb flirting crap – EVEN WITH A WAITRESS WHO HAS ALREADY EXPRESSED INTEREST – ain’t gonna cut it. 
      * Dean asks when she gets off work on behalf of Cas. It’s not rude, it’s not lewd/crude, and he describes Cas as “shy” – he’s making it clear that Cas (and the men at the table as a whole) are not aggressors or douchey alpha males. He’s giving  _her_  the upper hand.
      * AND SHE TAKES IT. “Whenever I can.” Boom. She gets the innuendo. She gets the final word. And whether or not she actually would have followed through with her flirtations with Cas if he’d been interested (and he clearly wasn’t), she knows she won that round, and they all know it.
    * My point is, I liked Mandy and I liked how the usual “flirting with the waitress” trope was used and paralleled with  _RD._
    * Oh and Dean was totally flirting with Cas through Mandy. lbr



**LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST: CROWLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

Crowley, y’all. The unsung hero.

  * Someone *cough cough DEAN cough* needs to tell Crowley that he’s appreciated. It’s gonna end badly if Crowley decides he’s had enough of being treated like a second class citizen/no class citizen.
    * Sam, Cas, and Mary never will. Dean’s the only one who has any sort of relationship with Crowley AND GOD DO I LOVE THEIR DYNAMIC. (ask [@thayerkerbasy](https://tmblr.co/mnmruVrY3w7bx5YX5qutl4g) – we flail about this a lot)
  * Mary and Crowley’s introduction – man, if Cas hadn’t been dying in the background, I would have LOVED for Crowley to make it clear to Mary that he has  _history_  with the boys (especially Dean…) and that they’re not too good to shake his hand.
    * Partly because that’s kind of how I wrote the scene in “Return” and I’m egotistical like that.
  * Crowley’s face crumpling when he realizes Cas is dying.
  * Crowley’s face crumpling when Dean says they don’t have time for him. Now, I get where Dean’s coming from: Crowley, in true Crowley fashion, makes a crack about Cas which gets under Dean’s skin, but at this moment in time Dean can’t just brush that off like he normally would. (And oh the layers to unpack there… another day perhaps.) But Dean and Crowley have always been something…different…and I think Dean dismissing him like that really hurt.
  * Crowley still willing to go to bat for the Winchesters despite all this. 
  * Crowley willing to give up an immensely powerful weapon to save Cas ~~…aka his romantic rival.~~
  * CROWLEY TELLING DEAN “YOU’RE WELCOME” WHEN CAS IS SAVED. 
    * HOLY LOVE CHEVRON, BATMAN.
  * Crowley and the throne.
    * Y’all, this backstory MAKES SO MUCH SENSE.
    * Crowley is so much better as King of the Crossroads: he had power, he had influence, he also got to live in a swanky house, have a nice tailor, and not deal with the BS of running Hell.
    * But, Crowley also recognizes that Hell abhors a vacuum and if he doesn’t take the throne, someone else will. And we’ve seen what other rulers of Hell are like (Abbadon, Lucifer, etc.). 
    * If Hell were a mob family, he’d be the  _consigliere_ – he’s got the brains, but he’s not a  _leader_ , and there’s a big difference between a leader and a ruler _._  There’s a reason why in S6 he wanted Cas (for his “sex appeal”) or somehow thought he could use Deanmon to make his rule of Hell better (because Dean is a leader – Crowley was disappointed when Deanmon was not and didn’t care about anything).
    * Crowley and Rowena: both realizing that it’s lonely at the top and maybe there’s more to life than power. LIKE FRIENDS AND FEELINGS.
    * [Crowley feelings gif]


  * SERIOUSLY, SOMEONE TELL CROWLEY HE’S IMPORTANT AND THANK HIM.



Ok. I’m definitely feverish. I really hope this makes sense. Imma go sleep now.

[spn season 12 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-12-reviews) [12x12](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/12x12) [spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [spn cast and crew](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-cast-and-crew)


	33. 12xUnlucky13 aka fuckleming strikes again

Yeah, I’m doing my review tonight because I’m definitely not going to rewatch this whole episode…

(and I hopefully will have fun family things keeping me occupied tomorrow!!)

This review is going to be super short because the whole Fiona story just pisses me off for so many reasons. It’s either I rant about that for a good thousand words or so or I just express my extreme displeasure here and now and then move on.

(ok, there’s totally a rant but it’s under the cut)

Actual review time (sorta)

  * Too many plots in this episode. Holy shit.
  * Dean talks to Cas. So that’s good. But like, kind of an anticlimax after last episode. Too run of the mill.
  * Rowena was completely underutilized. 
  * Crowley WTF are you doing with Lucifer. 
  * Buckleming stop trying to retcon shit – honestly we would have rather just had a vague Luci’s in Nick for ~*reasons*~ than that stupid explanation.
  * Crowley actually thought Luci’s kid was dead (so the Winchesters lied by omission)??? I thought, right up until the phone call, that Crowley was just lying to Lucifer because he didn’t want to show his hand. 
    * This is going to backfire spectacularly, especially considering what Crowley did for them last episode.
    * Even Rowena calls them out on them owing HER for 12x11.
    * When’s Crowley gonna cash in that chip?
  * …ok moving on because I’m getting annoyed again
  * Dagon seems cool. Actually glad she didn’t get much screen time so Buckleming couldn’t fuck her up.
  * SMART DEAN. This might be one of the only redeeming things about the episode.
    * recognizes Mary’s up to No Good.
    * recognizes the  _Star._
  * Still don’t get why there’s a Maritime Museum in Andover, MA. It’s not on the coast. (I know, I know, the museum was established in 6x04, but still.)
  * Well at least the Gavin paradox was kind of rectified.
  * OH HEY DEAN YOU SEEM REALLY REALLY INTERESTED IN THE REUNITED LOVERS THING.
    * Meanwhile, Sam’s in the background like ooh hey this is a really cool book and some cool magic imma study it more
  * Rowena’s motivations – they make sense? But yeah, this is definitely not the shit that Crowley needs right now.
  * MARY.
    * The training with the weapons. Ick. Looked like torture. 
    * Someone else mentioned this, but it was my thought, too: the warehouse scene/training kind of reminded me of Naomi brainwashing Cas.
    * Mary’s phone call with Dean was possibly the cringiest thing EVER. It’s like someone gave Mary a handbook of all the dudebro things (performing!)Dean likes and said, here, this is how you bond with your adult son. But, MARY ISN’T A BRO PAL. THEY’RE MOTHER AND SON.
      * Like, really? Magic Fingers? That’s gross.
      * And Ketch says she’s a good liar for that. Really? Because that was like the worst lying ever and it’s no wonder Dean was like something’s up.
      * Side note: Ketch and Mary? WTF. No, Ketch. Thank GOD she said no to having a drink with him.
      * (I do really like Ketch as a character, though.)
    * And then she did the pandering thing AGAIN with the burgers and beer.
      * Although, it’s interesting that she seems to be pandering more to Dean than Sam. I think she knew Dean would be the one who’d need the most convincing/would be the hardest to crack. 
  * SCENE SAVED BY ACTING.
    * Dean and Sam’s reactions to Mary’s confession at the end.
    * Spot on, Jared and Jensen.
  * Excellent music choice at the end.
  * Can we get a S12 reboot of Dean and Crowley’s bar convo in 10x17 about mothers?



Alright. I’m done with this hot mess of an episode.

 

So, here we go: BUCKLEMING YOU SHOULD BE BANNED FROM WRITING BECAUSE YOU CAN’T GO ONE FUCKING EPISODE WITHOUT A RAPE OR CONSENT ISSUE. AND THEN YOU NEVER FUCKING ADDRESS IT OR YOU DO IN THE WORST POSSIBLE WAY. 

And another thing! I’m not saying what the teacher did was right (like, fuck the victim blaming – that’s bullshit no matter what century we’re in and it needs to stop), but really, you’re going to have your character go after ALL teachers for that? Not, like, the people who actually committed the rape? I know I’m biased as a teacher myself, but I am tired of getting shit on by the world (oh hey Betsy DeVos, you can have a nice FUCK YOU, too, while I’m in the neighborhood) because if you think teachers don’t give a shit about their kids well, screw you.

[spn season 12 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-12-reviews) [spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [12x13](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/12x13)


	34. 12x14: Wooing the Winchesters

What can I say? I’m a sucker for alliteration.

Now that I’ve come down from my oh-thank-god-it-wasn’t-a-buckleming high from last night and have rewatched the episode, it’s time for my review.

First of all, can I just say I’m really loving this season? Like, it’s not perfect, there’s been a few missteps (and I’m not even talking about 12x13…), but damn it’s just been a good ride so far, and “The Raid” is no exception.

As a huge BtVS fan, I also love how Mary’s arc is very S6 Buffy, but now we’ve somehow morphed the Watchers Council with the Initiative. And I’m totally on board.

([Also, fun fact: David Haydn-Jones apparently had a minor role as one of the Watchers in that episode where they sap Buffy of her powers as part of training her…](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.imdb.com%2Ftitle%2Ftt0533440%2F%3Fref_%3Dnm_flmg_act_37&t=MzNiZTA4ZjQ0MWFiZmE5YTAzYTZjNzNhNTk5OGRjMmE5MDY2MzFiZCxhalppYlNmTA%3D%3D&b=t%3AEfhZx9mrbYIhxW5MNPXDUQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fgrey2510.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F157962258783%2F12x14-wooing-the-winchesters&m=1))

Some other thoughts…

**THE BMoL AND THE BAD INTEL** :

  * I know that’s what I called this section in my 12x12 review, but I guess I’m also a sucker for rhyming, too. 
  * ANYWAY. Sam is Not Impressed, and he has every reason to be:
    * The Alpha Vampire hasn’t been laying low in Morocco (and considering Pierce was a turncoat, I’m really curious as to where they got that info…)
    * The Colt. They obviously have no idea that the Winchesters have any history with it (which we guess in 12x12).
      * ALSO KUDOS TO JARED FOR HIS ACTING DURING ALL THIS.
      * And I know some people were annoyed that Sam referred to Bobby (or Ruby – I think he meant Bobby) as “buddy”, but again, Sam was playing everything close to the chest. I don’t think Bobby is a name he’s going to throw around lightly in that crowd (not to mention, in front of his mother, considering Bobby was their better father figure…not John).
  * The way the BMoL works is kind of terrifying in some ways, although there’s something to be said for organization and strategy. The problem is, the team doesn’t 1) trust each other 2) know each other 3) understand the landscape.
  * Not to mention the very black and white ideology. This is the most terrifying part. 
    * Calling vampires terrorists? Don’t tell me THAT wasn’t some pointed commentary…
  * This actually brings us to…



**WOOING THE WINCHESTERS**

  * The way the BMoL goes about recruiting Sam and Dean is a great study in how both Sam and Dean perform. I know in this corner of the fandom, we talk A LOT about performing!Dean, but it’s not like Sam doesn’t  _constantly_  fight the different facets of himself, too. Hunter, Stanford, poor, passing for middle class, calm, cultured, angry, bad ass fighter, intelligent… and that’s not even getting into all the ways he expresses this internal conflict, or tries to channel it (like, his relationship with food is VERY interesting).
  * Anyway, the BMoL’s (and Mary’s) method of recruiting Sam plays on the performance: Sam is the Intellectual Brother and the More Reasonable Brother. And it’s true, Sam  _is_ very intellectual and cerebral, and while Dean’s extremely intelligent, Sam gets more enjoyment/satisfaction out of this work than Dean.
  * Did Sam actually choose the BMoL’s side? God, I hope not. I really really really hope that Sam only said that as a ploy.
  * By comparison, Ketch seduces Dean. (Also, Ketch is SO queer coded. It’s ridiculous.)
    * Granted, Dean  _knows_  he’s getting seduced and is also Not Impressed. Much like Sam, he goes along just to see what’s what. Dean’s no dummy – he knows that if the BMoL are their next big obstacle, the best thing he can do is find out everything he can about them. 
  * Anyway, back to the seduction: 
    * Ketch brings whiskey (which is nicely paralleled with Sam and Pierce’s call back to Rufus) – and lord, I was SERIOUSLY hoping it was going to be a bottle of Craig because I would love to talk for hours about how Ketch is set up as a new old!Crowley – as in Crowley recruiting Dean for the Mark of Cain – and yet a demon, the king of Hell, has a better understanding of Dean Winchester. 
    * Ketch then tells Dean he’s a killer (and if anything, this is a good thing for Dean to hear because Dean does best when he has something to push back against).
    * Ketch says they’re both just blunt instruments/tools/weapons. Dean is Not Impressed, which is awesome, considering how often he’s been told this or thought it about himself.
    * Ketch dangles the vamp case carrot, and he hunts in Dean’s style. Dean was looking for a hunt earlier. But, Dean only really craves a hunt when he’s upset and needs a distraction. He doesn’t enjoy the killing for the sake of killing. And he also doesn’t appreciate Ketch’s interrogation strategies–or, more importantly, Ketch’s  _enjoyment_  of beating up the vampire. 
  * So, here’s the thing, and it goes back to my point about the BMoL’s team. Each of them had a part, and each was ostensibly good at that part. But none of them could do anything outside their job description. And  _that’s_  where the BMoL  _truly_  failed. The Winchesters can do it all. Sure, there’s some things they might want someone else for a specialty case (like Charlie or Frank for high level tech stuff), but they’re not  _just_  hunters. 
    * Dean might be the brother who prefers the action side of hunting, but he’s not just a killer. He’s also incredibly intelligent and knows his way around the lore.
    * Sam might be the brother who prefers the lore and research, but like I said before, he’s Sam Fucking Winchester.
    * And we see this with other hunters: Bobby. Rufus. Garth. Samuel. Charlie. Jody. Ellen. Mary. Jo. They could do it all. Not being able to adapt gets you killed. Being a rugaru specialist or in supernatural R&D isn’t good enough. 



**MOTHER MARY AND HER BOYS**

  * So much to think about with Mary. I wonder if her opinion of the BMoL will change after this? 
  * I loved everything about their fight at the beginning because it felt  _real_. And even though we obviously don’t agree with Mary, it’s possible to see and understand  _why_  she’s made the decisions she’s made. Like she says, she’s trying to play 30 years of catch up.
  * Dean points out that so are they, but they’re not having the same conversation at that point. And a big part of that has to do with age. Mary is 28/29 in her head. When she considers herself a mother, it’s to a young child, not to 30+ year olds. When Dean asks her to a be a mom, he’s not asking – as he clarifies at the end – to be treated like a child/given a second chance at a childhood. He wants  _family_. And, Dean has had more experience with adult parent and child relationships: John, Bobby, or on the flip side, Claire, especially in 10x20 and 11x12 (not quite an adult, but she’s certainly not a little kid). Mary was 19? when her parents died, so she had  _some_  experience in this regard, but I’m willing to bet that when she hears “Mom”, it carries a  _very_  different connotation for her.
  * DEAN CALLING HER MARY. Oh that hurt.
  * Sam being the one who caves and talks to Mary. I really think that this is Sam trying to be “the good son”, especially after years of butting heads with John.
  * Speaking of Sam: why did he seem so surprised that Dean would go with Ketch to the BMoL facility? Like, did it really take Sam that long to piece together that Dean would OF COURSE go and help Mary, even if they’re having a fight? Jesus, Sam, do you really know your brother at all?
    * Also, his “You didn’t know  _I_  was here” – is this Sam with Benny Syndrome again? Upset that Dean values other people as much as Sam?



**SPEAKING OF BENNY…**

  * On the one hand, I was bummed no one mentioned Benny. Or Lenore. Or Madison. Or Amy. Or GARTH (if they kill Garth and Bess and their likely adorable werewolf babies that I’m sure they’ve had by now, I will be SO pissed). Or CAS?
    * Pause to acknowledge that Dean’s biggest concern about the Ramiel case is that Cas almost died.
    * Ok, resume.
  * On the other hand, Sam and Dean don’t really say much this episode. This episode is brilliant in letting the audience fill in the blanks as to what the brothers must be thinking but don’t want to reveal to the BMoL. But you know they MUST have been thinking about these characters.



**OTHER THINGS:**

  * Some of the shots in this episode were great: 
    * The wide shot of the gate opening behind Mary while Sam stands far back, hands in his pockets, by the car.
    * The death of the Alpha Vampire (not happy he’s dead, but the way it was shot – no pun intended – was such a great visual callback to the first time vampires were introduced/the Colt was fired).
    * Sam and Mary with Mick behind them, facing Dean with the Impala behind him.
  * “America is my home. Get off my lawn.” – seems to be a recurring theme this season…



For some reason, I feel super disjointed this time around. I don’t know if any of this was actually insightful or interesting…

Anyway. Really liked the episode and am excited for what this brings next!!

[spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [12x14](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/12x14) [spn season 12 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-12-reviews) [sam and dean](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/sam-and-dean)[sam sympathizes and dean empathizes](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/sam-sympathizes-and-dean-empathizes) [he's a lumberjack and he's ok](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/he%27s-a-lumberjack-and-he%27s-ok)


	35. 12x15: Hugs for Crowley 2k17

Davy Perez, we’re keeping you. **  
**

So, let’s get to it!

**THE BROTHERS:**

  * Dean Germaphobe Winchester not giving a crap that he’s covered in all kinds of goo — you know something’s really wrong with him.
    * He had a very Purgatoryesque vibe to him, which is interesting considering his interactions with Ketch in 12x14. Last episode, Ketch tried to convince Dean that he’s a killer and then there was the whole vampire hunt fiasco. Dean was wholly unimpressed with Ketch, and we know a huge part of that is because Dean’s a hunter not a killer, and there’s a distinct difference. (Like Sam says at the end of 12x14, hunting is cops and robbers. It’s not a kiling spree.)


    * Here, though, Dean seems to be reveling in the violence, which seems like a contradiction of the previous episode.
    * BUT: Dean—as far as he knew (and isn’t that the kicker)—he was hunting on his terms, and he was hunting monsters that deserved to die (we can only assume that Dean didn’t just go on a rampage for no reason – it’s not his style).
    * ALSO: Purgatory. Hunting there was “pure.” This was Dean trying to focus on the job because everything else around him is crappy.
  * Dean’s comment that he does all the dirty work while Sam doesn’t — emphasis on the MoL/hunter divide. Of course, 12x14 is still fresh in our minds and we know Sam Fucking Winchester knows how to hunt, but I saw this as Dean retreating/deflecting and falling back on familiar patterns because that’s easier to deal with than anything else.
  * Nice TWD shoutout. :)
    * I’m guessing Dean picked up the bat from one of the monsters. I doubt he made it.
  * I’m still torn about Sam’s decision to work with BMoL and to think that they are helpful. I mean, even now, they’re just sending the guys cases. All they’ve done is exactly what that computer program Sam made up could do (and Sam probably COULD figure something like that out; hell, he probably has something like that on his laptop already). It’s not like we’ve seen the BMoL provide any special intel on these cases that they’ve sent the Winchesters on. So what exactly does Sam expect to get out of them? Also, Sam, who is the more cerebral brother (note: I did NOT say intelligent), seems to be content in being used by the BMoL like Ketch: point and shoot. I could see Sam joining up to collaborate, research, and network to make things better, but he’s essentially turned himself into a grunt. It’s just…odd. Not necessarily OOC, just a little head-scratchy.
    * I am glad, however, that they didn’t drag the secret out for long.
  * THE FANCY SHAMPOO. Yes, this gets its own bullet.
    * It’s now canon that Sam does in fact buy fancy shampoo for those luscious locks of his.
    * It’s also canon that he HIDES IT FROM DEAN.
    * Sure you could probably argue that it’s for some petty reason like Dean’d put Nair in it…but…
    * DEAN WANTS TO USE THE FANCY SHAMPOO.
      * This post is getting my Performing!Dean tag. Hehe. I just like my tag for this.
  * Minor quibble: THEY WERE ON ANOTHER SIREN CASE AND WE DIDN’T GET TO SEE IT?!?! And it was close enough to Dean to get guts in his hair… Boo.



**CAS:**

  * He’s now Agent Solange. Bless.
  * I loved his very human reactions, like his head dropping and (nearly?) hitting the door at the absolute absurdity of it all.
    * I can relate. So hard. There are days I’m surprised I don’t end up with dry erase marker smudges on my forehead.
  * This Kelvin dude. (Also, the name? Not sure I love it for an angel.) God, I really really really hope that Cas’ arc here is to give him a CHOICE. I don’t want him to be at odds with Heaven, but I want him to be able to say to the Host that his true family is on Earth. Joshua seems like a pretty chill angel. Maybe he would respect that choice. 
    * Notice, Cas never agreed with what Kelvin was saying about Heaven and Earth. He agreed to go with him to Heaven, but Cas is playing his cards close to his chest.
  * “He seem weird to you?” Oh, Dean. I love that he knows that something is up with Cas right away, especially from a phone call that seemed pretty standard, if short. 
    * This is paralleled with Dean and Cas’ other phone call this episode, AND the ones earlier this season:
      * Dean and Cas talked about the phone A LOT at the beginning of the season, and it was about personal matters. No wonder Dean thinks Cas sounds off now.
      * Sam’s phone call with Mary, and his sign off of “I love you” is timed EXACTLY with Dean’s phone call with Cas. That can’t be coincidence. That was done on fucking  _purpose_. Sure, in real life, does that happen and it’s just coincidence? Of course. But this is a narrative. Our brains were  _supposed_  to fill in Dean’s sign off with Cas with some sort of “I love you” sentiment to echo Sam’s. Obviously, we’re talking about two different kinds of loves, but still.
      * The simultaneous phone calls also draw lines in the sand: Sam and Mary and the BMoL vs. Dean and Cas (a supernatural being) – and later Dean and Crowley (a supernatural being).



**THE LEGACY OF RONALD REZNICK**

  * So, obviously the guy at the diner was supposed to be a Ronald Reznick (and Frank Devereaux) throwback. He’s “woke” – he believes that there’s something Not Normal out there, but he’s in the wrong genre: it’s fantasy, not sci-fi. But, at the end of the day, he’s  _right_ : he’s not totally crazy, he’s not seeing things. 
    * The great irony is that he’s convinced they’re aliens and he’s trying to explain this to a being who is, technically, an extra-terrestrial. 
  * But what was the point of this? Well, diner manager guy and Ronald Reznick’s legacy actually ties even more directly into Gwen’s story and the importance of believing the witness AND NOT LYING.
  * In 2x12, Ronald Reznick HATES Sam, but likes Dean. Why? Sam lied and dismissed him. Dean did not:



> DEAN: Man, that has got to be the kicker, straight up. I mean, you tell that poor son of a bitch that – what did you say, remand the tapes that he copied? Classified evidence of an ongoing investigation? (Laughs) That’s messed up.
> 
> SAM: (sitting down to watch the tape) What are you, pissed at me or something?
> 
> DEAN: Nah, I just think it’s a little creepy how good of a Fed you are. I mean, come on, we could have at least thrown the guy a bone. He did some pretty good legwork here. 
> 
> SAM: Mandroid?
> 
> DEAN: Except for the Mandroid part. I liked him. He’s not that different from you or me. People think we’re crazy.
> 
> SAM: Yeah, except he’s not a hunter, Dean. He’s just a guy who stumbled onto something real. If he were to go up against this thing he’d get torn apart. Better to stay in the dark, and stay alive.
> 
> DEAN: Yeah, I guess.

  * No wonder Ronald bonds with Dean more later in the episode.
  * In 12x14, we see this same theme: Gwen kicks out the brothers when Sam tries to give her some BS – as Dean points out, it was his idea. And who does she hug and thank at the end? Not the guy who actually killed the Hellhound. No, she hugs CROWLEY. The one person who didn’t try to BS her at ALL, the one who actually asked her what happened with Ramsey and validated her story. 
  * Dean was right: the truth  _wasn’t_  that hard, and taking the victims/witnesses seriously and validating them and their experience is  _important._  
    * There’s some real world connections here… Hmm… what could they possibly be…
    * Also, Dean’s pissiness towards Sam about telling the truth about Hellhounds makes me think (along with the phone/computer program conversation earlier) that Dean already suspected something was up with Sam, but was probably 1) hoping he was wrong 2) hoping Sam’d come clean on his own 3) too wrapped up in everything else to deal with it.



**AND SPEAKING OF HUGS FOR CROWLEY:**

  * YES. Crowley was appreciated and THANKED and uncharacter assassinated from 12x13.
  * Dean’s thank you: Ok, yeah, Dean was kind of snarky when he  _actually_  said the words, but c’mon, posturing sarcasm is how these two communicate. Like, Crowley tries to brush off his actions as just not wanting to listen to Sam and Dean’s manpain if Cas died, but we know that Crowley has a weird soft spot for TFW – particularly Dean, and Cas (either by extension or on his own or both…that’s a tangled web). So, Dean’s, “Well, thank you” – it was sincere underneath. And Crowley knows it, even if he doesn’t acknowledge it except to continue with the innuendo.
    * OH THE INNUENDO. Y’all need to go read [The Misadventures of Growley and Squirrel](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fseries%2F543232&t=ZGUzNTczNmMzODQxZWIzYWE2ZDg0YTQyZThjZGJjMWQyZGMxYzJjZixvOUxnMkl4Vw%3D%3D&b=t%3AEfhZx9mrbYIhxW5MNPXDUQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fgrey2510.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F158251519323%2F12x15-hugs-for-crowley-2k17&m=1) by [@thayerkerbasy](https://tmblr.co/mnmruVrY3w7bx5YX5qutl4g). (Have I recced that before? Yes. Too bad. Also, since we’re talking Hellhounds, go read their [Juliet fics](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fseries%2F576391&t=YzY1M2ViNDA4ZWNjOWE1YzVkNTM4NjVlYzQwMzM4ZjI5M2ZjYTg1OCxvOUxnMkl4Vw%3D%3D&b=t%3AEfhZx9mrbYIhxW5MNPXDUQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fgrey2510.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F158251519323%2F12x15-hugs-for-crowley-2k17&m=1).)
    * DESTIEL SHIPPER GOGGLES ALERT: Dean’s thank you is centered around saving Cas. Interpret as you will.
    * God this effing love chevron…
    * Oh and Dean’s shudder – haha
  * Sam’s thank you: Honestly, this one surprised me, but in a good way. Sam tends to take a far harder approach to Crowley than Dean, so for Sam to say thank you, even reluctantly, is HUGE. 
  * LUCIFER’S VESSEL:
    * Thank you, Davy Perez, for unfucking up as much of that scene in 12x13 that we all groaned over regarding Lucifer’s vessel.
    * Quibble: if Crowley can control this vessel, why didn’t they use it during S11? Why send Sam to the Cage at all, even if Sam wasn’t planning on saying yes, why risk it? Obviously, Lucifer’s appearance as Nick in S11 wasn’t the vessel, just a projection, but why didn’t Crowley say, hey, if we need Lucifer to fight the Darkness, why don’t we let him out in something we can control? (Unless Lucifer’s power would have been too diminished in a warded vessel?)
      * I’m going to accept the ( ) as the explanation and just appreciate that Davy Perez did the best he could with that situation.
      * Also, I kind of tuned out during a lot of 12x13…so maybe my roundabout justification isn’t even necessary and I’m just forgetting something from that episode.
    * The fact that Crowley is ten steps ahead of Lucifer is AWESOME. I love when Crowley really is the smartest in the room.
    * Lucifer is trapped in a lowly human vessel. And not even his favorite Samsuit. And he can be controlled by a common demon (because, Crowley rose through the ranks – he’s not a Prince or a Knight. He is, technically, common). Ahh this is great.



**MISC OTHER THINGS:**

  * Dean called Crowley “Peaches.”
  * Superb visuals – the shot through the glasses on the ground of the Hellhounds was awesome.
  * Gwen used the green cooler to hit Ramsey. HAHA YES.
  * Crowley copying Dean and being a total brat. LOVE IT. 
  * “Kill the kennel guards. Painfully.” [@thayerkerbasy](https://tmblr.co/mnmruVrY3w7bx5YX5qutl4g) – NOT CONNALL!
  * Dean: “Imagine she’s a beautiful woman.” Crowley: “Ew.” Hahaha Crowley’s like dude, stop fantasizing over your CAR.
  * Speaking of: how much of Dean’s concern for Baby was actually Jensen being worried about Jared driving her?
  * AND DON’T HURT BABY! :(



[spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [12x15](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/12x15) [spn season 12 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-12-reviews)[he's a lumberjack and he's ok](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/he%27s-a-lumberjack-and-he%27s-ok) [sam sympathizes and dean empathizes](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/sam-sympathizes-and-dean-empathizes)[the love chevron](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/the-love-chevron) [dean and his creature comforts](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/dean-and-his-creature-comforts)


	36. 12x16: Grey Areas

So I’ve decided to consider 12x05 a mulligan for Meredith Glynn. I don’t think it was ever destined to be one of the great episodes of the series, but I think that we have such a warped view of it because of everything else in the world. And with 12x11 and 12x16, I think she’s proven she’s a competent writer.

So, review time!

There’s a lot to talk about with this episode, so I’m sure I missed things, but I also know I’ll probably be reblogging things this week, so… *shrug* It’ll all be covered eventually.

## Dean and Claire

 

  * DAD!DEAN AND CLAIRE IS MY FAVORITE. I could legit flail about this all day, so I won’t here. But I’m pretty sure 90% of my queue since the episode has been Dean and Claire stuff, so if you really want more about the two of them, [here’s my tag](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/dean-and-claire). 
  * I really like how so much of this episode hearkens back to S10 and Dean’s MoC arc. Claire’s fear that she won’t be able to control this and asking to end it, Dean asking Cas to take him out if he goes dark side, etc. What I also like about these parallels is the fact that it was during S10 that Dean and Claire reconciled and bonded, so there’s a certain bittersweet continuity there.
  * I really thought for a moment that Dean was going to talk down werewolf!Claire… like he has with every other possessed/brainwashed member of his family…
  * Dean leaving the room when Claire was turning: this is now the I-don’t-even-know-th time we’ve seen Dean at a loss for words as someone he loves “dies". Claire lying on the couch was a nice visual parallel to 12x12. And I wouldn’t be surprised if Dean didn’t try calling/praying for Cas when he stepped outside.
  * Hugs. :)



 

## Growing Up

  * Claire still has a long way to go. Sam wasn’t wrong when he told her to stop acting like a kid — maybe that wasn’t the way to phrase it to get her to listen, but someone needs to say it.
  * Her alias is just further proof she’s not as grown up as she thinks. Beatrice Quimby? As [in](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FBeezus_and_Ramona&t=MTkwNTYxZDA4ZGM5NDAyZTRhNTYwZjdmMWUxZjlkZjc4YThjNjZkNCwyUk9oY2Q5VQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AEfhZx9mrbYIhxW5MNPXDUQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fgrey2510.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159055381633%2F12x16-grey-areas&m=1):



[Beezus & Ramona book cover]

  * (For those of you who don’t know, “Beezus" is Ramona Quimby’s nickname for her older sister, Beatrice.)
  * She’s also hunting solo, which is just terrible. There’s a part of me that would want to see her meet up with Krissy or something, but there’s another part of me that wants her to find her own crew, not just someone else who crossed the Winchesters’ path.



 

## The Lies and the Grey Areas

  * Once again, Sam is paralleled with someone lying to family. I was really hoping Claire was going to call Sam out on the hypocrisy when she laid into him, but then again, she doesn’t know him/what he’s been up to over the years like we do.
  * I’m glad that Sam is REALLY starting to see what being buddies with the BMoL is all about. And boy, is it not good. Good for Sam for mentioning Garth. (Although, I thought it was interesting that Sam didn’t mention a name, much like how he didn’t mention Bobby by name until Mary said it in 12x15… But Dean did. DON’T YOU HURT GARTH.)
  * The call back to Magda — I want the boys to find out about that SO bad.
  * DEAN THE MASTER LIE DETECTOR. Ok, so Crowley’s 10 steps ahead, but Dean’s definitely his match here. Like, his whole “what did you do last night" shtick with the bartender was such prime bait to call Mick out. Dean knew something was up, and Mick’s story only confirmed what Dean already knew.



 

##  ~~Wesley~~ Mick and the  ~~Watchers~~ BMoL

  * I know I’ve mentioned this before, but this episode highlighted again that to be truly effective in policing (notice I’m not saying hunting or killing) the supernatural, you have to be a hunter AND a scholar. That’s where Dean and Sam excel, and what Mick needs to realize. I wouldn’t want someone to perform open heart surgery on me who’d only read about it in a book, and I wouldn’t want someone who’d go in with a trial and error approach, either. Do your homework, put on a flannel, get a gun, and don’t hunt like a dumbass.
  * I think the only way to fully redeem Mick without killing him is to break him. Like, seriously break him. Not “ooh I’ve seen the error of my ways, I’m a good guy now". If you’ve seen  _Angel_ , you know what I mean, re: Wesley. It’s a dark path, and it still amazes me to this day how different that character was from start to finish and yet, he never felt OOC. That’s what Mick’d need to do, but I don’t know if SPN is going to give his character the space to do that. I’m also not sure I really care enough, either. Also, I think Mary is the one on this path right now, in a way.



 

## Gender

  * This was complicated for gender dynamics, but it was supposed to be. Our bartenders were not supposed to be good guys — and even if they weren’t hitting on high schoolers, Claire’s “bartenders love me" is just creepy in general. But, it’s also very real.
  * The way the fight with Claire was shot was great — the music, and the fact that he bit her after pinning her to the ground from behind was so skeevy but definitely in keeping with the themes.
  * Claire’s consent to the cure and her assertion that she gets all the votes. Good for her! I mean, I completely get where Dean was coming from, and he’d just tried to reassure her that she could live with as a werewolf, so I can understand why he wouldn’t want to take the chance, even if Claire was right to call him out on this. But, I like how this was handled. He initially balks at the idea because he’s Dean and that’s what he does, but he doesn’t really fight it after that. And he double-checked later because she couldn’t speak for herself at this point, and Dean’s finally learning not to make decisions about people/their lives/their bodies without their consent (like with Gadreel, for instances). 
  * Some of this is definitely a growing up parent-child thing, and character growth, but it’s also such a gender thing. Here we have three men essentially deciding what a young woman can do with her body (in an episode that is all about men preying on women and taking advantage of them). But, Dean and Sam ultimately defer to the only person who really should have any votes: Claire. (Also, the use of the word ‘votes’ — do you hear the anvils falling? Well, if you’re following me here, probably yes. If only Congress could hear them…)



 

## Cops and Robbers:

  * Werewolf!dude talking about how the BMoL wiped out his pack, which is really his only motivation for going after girls and turning them (cool motive, still  ~~murder~~ wrong). Hm, where have we seen this before?
  * 12x15, Sam and the Alpha!Vampire have this conversation: they both know that the way it “should" be is that the hunters only come out when the supernatural folk start killing or hurting humans. (Hence my “policing" line earlier.)
  * Also, the ghoulpire in 11x04 says the same thing when Amara is running around. Not that Amara was targeting them specifically, but ghoulpire saw this primordial evil rise and felt  _provoked_  to come out from the shadows.
  * As [@thayerkerbasy](https://tmblr.co/mnmruVrY3w7bx5YX5qutl4g) said, it’s the Monster Apocalypse…the real question is who’s the monster?



 

## Miscellaneous other thoughts:

  * Dean and his creature comforts. :)
  * Performing!Dean not wanting to give Mick the satisfaction of admitting how much he liked those creature comforts. But, he dropped the act for Sam, which doesn’t usually happen… especially not when he and Sam are kind of on opposite sides here.
  * CLAIRE CALLED JODY HER MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE THEM!!! WAYWARD AF.



[spn season 12 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-12-reviews) [spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [12x16](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/12x16) [dean and claire](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/dean-and-claire)[dean winchester](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/dean-winchester) [sam winchester](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/sam-winchester) [mick davies](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/mick-davies) [claire novak](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/claire-novak)[he's a lumberjack and he's ok](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/he%27s-a-lumberjack-and-he%27s-ok) [dean and his creature comforts](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/dean-and-his-creature-comforts)


	37. 12x17 LET THE GOOD SHIP SAILEEN SAIL!

Y’all, that’s all I wanna talk about.

Ok, not entirely true. But, like, that’s mostly what I want to talk about. And Destiel. But there are some other things to talk about first…

## Kendrick’s: WTF

  * Seriously, that’s my only note for 90% of any and all stuff about that place and Mick’s backstory
  * It makes me almost want the Watcher’s Council to be a thing instead
  * This isn’t anything new, but, obviously:
    * Hess = Naomi
    * Mick = Cas
    * Mr. Top of the Class (Rollins?) = Draco Malfoy/Eric Trump
      * AND NO ONE CARES — hahahaha Eileen, I love you
  * And now Mick’s dead
  * So much for the redemption
  * Like I said in my last review, the only way he could get redeemed without dying would be if he went full Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, but I was skeptical they’d give Mick’s character that space. Guess a lot of other people and I were right.
  * Multiple mentions of Toni, so obviously she’s coming back by the end of the season



 

## Dean

  * Dean’s hangover: so this is why Mick had to die…he out drank Dean.
    * No, but really: does this mean that Dean hasn’t actually been drinking all that much lately? (like when Ketch comes by and Dean really hadn’t been drinking before that?)
    * Also: Cas parallels again: Mick could apparently drink a whole liquor store, too
  * So, the Winchesters have the Colt back. I’m a little bummed we didn’t get Dean’s reaction to finding out the Colt is back in play in the first place.



 

## Fuck Ketch… just please not literally

  * If Ketch goes after Eileen and kills her, I will rage quit this show — they better know better after Charlie
  * Ketch/Mary…ew
  * Just
  * Ew
  * So much ew
  * How many ew?
  * All the ew



## Mary:

  * Her grey area is different — she wants both worlds, but she doesn’t really care or see where they intersect (I feel like this is really vague…but I am le tired)
  * I do like that Mary stood up for herself that she wasn’t interested in Ketch beyond sex (the fact that Ketch seemed surprised worries me…if he and Toni dated, I really worry what he’s like in a relationship).
  * I would have liked more acknowledgment that yes, for everyone else it’s been a long time since Mary and John were together, but for Mary, it’s only been a few months



## Demons and Angels

  * I just…don’t care about Crowley vs. Lucifer. And I LOVE Crowley, but Buckleming just murders his scenes all the time and I’m just like ughhhhhhhhh
  * Please let Davy Perez fix this again and make it clear that Crowley knows exactly what the fuck he’s doing
  * Kelly and Dagon: I want more of Dagon because I think she’s been underutilized, but I want someone competent to write this
  * KELLY ACKNOWLEDGED THAT SHE WAS USED. BUCKLEMING ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGED CONSENT ISSUES. Ok, they’re the ones who created them in the first place, but my bar is pretty low for these two.



## SAILEEN AND DESTIEL — BE STILL MY HEART

  * Ok, first, all my Saileen flailing:
    * Eileen signing to Sam — she’s either doing this because it’s natural to her (but we see her talk to other people without signing) OR BECAUSE SAM’S BEEN LEARNING ASL BECAUSE THEY’VE BEEN TALKING SINCE 11x11
    * Eileen and Sam have their own special little goodbye moment and Dean points out that it’s cute :D :D
    * Eileen is just way too freaking adorable and competent and awesome in the Bunker scene (I like the Shoshannah changed her icon to an Eileen still — so we better be seeing more of her ALIVE), and Sam definitely is enjoying her company
    * Eileen all proud of Sam for convincing Kelly to come — perks of her being deaf/Deaf (someone help me out and tell me which to use): she couldn’t hear Sam’s HORRIBLE accent, and I honestly think that makes the whole thing cuter
    * “No one cares" — yes, I already mentioned this but I LOVE YOU EILEEN — and Sam’s just super amused by this <3
    * Sam comforting Eileen, signing to her that it was a mistake killing Fakeo Malfoy Trump
    * Sam and Eileen definitely spent some quality time together if ya know what I mean (they totes cuddled because Eileen was upset)
  * NOW THE DESTIEL PARTS:
    * SO… every time Cas was mentioned, Eileen was mentioned or present
    * In the car:
      * Dean, re: Sam and Eileen’s goodbyes over Facetime: “Well, that’s cute.” 
      * Sam’s next lines: SO SPEAKING OF SIGNIFICANT OTHERS YOU HEARD FROM YOUR HUSBAND? (and if not, we could call your demony ex?)
    * Dean calls Cas, is all upset that Cas still isn’t answering despite him calling three times… camera pans to SAM AND EILEEN TALKING AND BEING ADORABLE
    * (Less significant example: Sam confirms that he hasn’t heard from Cas when Dean shows up with Kelly — Dean’s pissed because, let’s face it, Cas calling Sam first would be a long shot, so it’s just more of the same news… Eileen is just hanging out near Sam during this exchange)
    * THE NEXT MORNING: 
      * Sam: DEAN HAVE YOU HEARD FROM YOUR HUSBAND? 
      * Dean: No… ugh I’m super worried. BTW WHILE WE’RE ON THE SUBJECT OF SIGNIFICANT OTHERS…WHERE’S YOURS, SAM?
        * …and then Eileen goes to Ireland for ~plot reasons~??? IF SHE DIES OFF SCREEN I WILL BE PISSED.



 

Honestly, I’m willing to excuse all the weirdly cut scenes and some of the OOCness and typical Buckleming crap in this episode just because of the Saileen wonderfulness that I hope foreshadows more.

AND THEY BETTER NOT FUCKING KILL HER.

(Have I said that enough? Probably not.)

[spn season 12 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-12-reviews) [spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [12x17](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/12x17) [saileen](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/saileen) [destiel](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/destiel)[eileen leahy](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/eileen-leahy) [bmol](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/bmol) [huntre's hogwarts](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/huntre%27s-hogwarts)


	38. 12x18: Gone but not forgotten

I’m going to be honest…I completely forgot (ha) that it was Moloch who possessed the computer in “I Robot, You Jane”. I know other people said it was one of their favorite Buffy episodes…but it’s one that I skip, generally. *dodges rotten tomatoes*

Anywho, review time! It’s going to be a short one, I think. (who am I kidding…I never shut up…)

## Legacies 

  * I’m not going to talk too too much about the importance of legacies in this episode simply because @mittensmorgul already said it way better than I could in  **[this post.](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/159557973735/legacy) **
  * Sheriff Bishop’s tactic brought one thing to the forefront: you can’t ignore your past. Leaving it hidden in the basement to starve to death isn’t going to work. This is something ALL the characters are facing this season (or have faced in the past): Mary doesn’t really want to understand her family’s past, Dean was reluctant to tell her about it, Dean and Sam are confronting their own understandings of their past, Cas is up in Heaven presumably coming to terms with his own past (we can only hope). In any case, you can’t ignore your problems and help they go away.
  * The illegitimate brother legacy. So, we may have forgotten about Adam, but Pete’s an interesting parallel anyway. The half-brother who was never  _really_  part of the family legacy, who was shunted off to the side, and who ends up working with/for a supernatural being he doesn’t really understand or can control so that he can finally get something for his family – and who cares what happens to anyone else (Adam does it so he can be reunited with his mom, Pete so he can get more than the crumbs of prosperity from the family business).
  * Dean and Sam talking about their own legacies. Not only is this interesting considering our next episode is called “The Future”, but it’s also a pretty heavy scene in terms of nostalgia, retrospection, and foreshadowing. I’m in agreement with some other people that the Bunker’s gonna be toast soon. Which brings me to…



## The Bunker

  * Not gonna lie, I kind of really liked the musical cues of the BMoL raiding the Bunker. The old timey jazz music was so corny but it added this great classic spy/noir element – and it also highlights just how different the BMoL are compared to the hunters. The BMoL, for all their fancy tech, are ideologically in the past where there’s no grey area. The hunters are, as Dean says, more open-minded.
  * The telescope. Hahahaha I love Ketch’s dismissal of it. BUT I really hope that this is symbolic of Ketch not seeing the truth of something, assuming he has all the answers when really he doesn’t. Ketch literally can’t see through the telescope. He can’t see the big picture, the cosmos, how everything intersects on the big scale.
    * ALSO: I’ve seen a theory around somewhere that the telescope isn’t a normal telescope, that it’s actually to see into other dimensions or something cool like that, which is why it doesn’t matter that it’s buried in a friggin’ Bunker. Not only does this make for a cool headcanon, but it’d also be an interesting flip of Ketch NOT getting the technology for a change.
  * Ketch stealing Dean’s picture and bugging the table. These are totally going to bite him in the ass. (My money’s on one of the boys, likely Dean, finding the bug and then staging conversations there.)
  * House vs. Home. After watching them carve their initials into the table, my heart broke. Because 1) Dean has tried his damnedest to make this a home for his family, even if Sam’s resisted and considers it a place to work 2) Mary’s return this season has been tearing at the boys’ concept of family and home all season 3) Baby has always been their true home (but we see in 12x01? 12x02? how even that’s “tainted” a little, thanks to Mary’s once over of the back seat) 4) home is where the heart is. I’d love to see this theme continue more.
    * ALSO: I think I’d like to see Dean and Sam create a home for themselves, not just inherit or adopt an existing one.



## Seeking Attention

_DEAN: Hey, when I want to drink, I drink. When I want sex, I go get it. Same goes for a sandwich or a fight._

_CASTIEL: So…you’re saying you’re just well-adjusted?_

_DEAN: God, no. I’m just well-fed._

_–[5x14 “My Bloody Valentine”](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.supernaturalwiki.com%2Findex.php%3Ftitle%3D5.14_My_Bloody_Valentine_%28transcript%29&t=ZGM4OTgxOTdlMzAyZjYxYzA0Y2ZjZGVlNDBkZjg4ZWY4NGNhODVjOSxtd2VTQUVVTA%3D%3D&b=t%3AEfhZx9mrbYIhxW5MNPXDUQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fgrey2510.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159561567653%2F12x18-gone-but-not-forgotten&m=1)_

  * Ok, so Dean’s behavior in this episode. It’s piggish, and at first it’s a red herring for something having to do with the case. But, it’s got nothing to do with the case AT ALL. No satyrs or anything. Nope, this is Dean doing what he always does: keeping himself as well-fed as possible to cope with everything else. Namely, Cas’ absence.
  * The first shot of the brothers is Dean calling Cas AGAIN. Away from Sam, initially, like always. And Cas still isn’t picking up. We all talked a ton about how Cas and Eileen were paralleled last episode, and so it really shouldn’t come as any surprise that Dean’s actions in this episode stem from and carry over from his lack of interactions with Cas.
  * Dean, in this episode, is like that kid who acts out in class because any attention is better than no attention. Sure, Dean’s a sexual creature and there’s certainly that element to his interactions with the waitress (who I’m pretty sure was in her 30s, so calm down everyone), but let’s really take a look at why he goes after her in the first place:  **she ignores him**. 
  * Dean is expecting her to at least give a flirty smile or something when she serves him his food, and he’s shocked when nothing happens. He’s a good looking guy, he knows this, and things have been shitty with Cas and he could use the self-esteem boost. He tracks her all around the diner, trying to make eye-contact and to get attention, and almost nothing works. He eventually gets a smile from her and then he goes up and sits at the counter to work his magic.  **Dean is tired of getting ignored.**  So he does all that he can to get attention from SOMEONE, since the person he wants attention from is incommunicado. 
  * The next morning, Dean makes it obvious to everyone and their mother that he got some the night before – tie askew, lazy grin, etc. He wants validation that he’s still desirable, that just because Cas is ignoring him, he’s not a social pariah. 
  * And the food? Dean eats his feelings. We know this. He does enjoy food for its own sake, but let’s face it, both brothers have complicated relationships with food. 
    * We see this when Mary brings home pie at the beginning of the season and Dean eats like a barbarian.  _Mom doesn’t bake pie or cook, I’m going to pretend this doesn’t shatter my whole conception of my childhood and eat the pie like it’s the best thing ever because everything’s_ ** _fine_** _._
    * Dean, of course, does the opposite later when Sam tried to cheer him up with pie, but that’s because Mary’s not around and now the pie has different connotations.
    * Dean’s trying to convince himself in this episode that he’s not missing something, that everything’s awesome ( _Don’t worry, we got the Colt, everything’s gravy, quit bitching and clutching your pearls, Sam._ ), and so he falls back on piggish Dean. And what’s his go-to food? The one he calls Heaven? Oh, right a burger. *cue more 5x14 parallels* 
      * Also of note, from what I remember of this scene, the waitress (who is named Carmen, according to IMDb – oh hey 2x20 callbacks) is in the background, going about her job, and Dean NEVER interacts with her.
  * Finally, to wrap this section up: Dean knows this isn’t healthy. He knows it’s a coping tactic. He’s  _always_  known this. He’s not well-adjusted. He’s just trying to get through the day and all the shit of his life, and if food and sex make things a little more bearable, then he’s going to take what he can.



All in all, solid MOTW episode. I think I liked 11x15 from Bring better, but I enjoyed this one all around.

[spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [12x18](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/12x18) [spn season 12 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-12-reviews)[also dean and sam what do you mean no one writes about you](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/also-dean-and-sam-what-do-you-mean-no-one-writes-about-you)[THERE'S LITERALLY A WHOLE SERIES](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/THERE%27S-LITERALLY-A-WHOLE-SERIES) [heck there's a musical](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/heck-there%27s-a-musical)[there's a TV show in another dimension!](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/there%27s-a-TV-show-in-another-dimension%21)[(and the books were written by GOD HIMSELF)](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/%28and-the-books-were-written-by-GOD-HIMSELF%29)[*smacks boys up the side of the head*](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Asmacks-boys-up-the-side-of-the-head%2A) [honestly...](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/honestly...)


	39. 12x19: Grey’s Top 13 Review Notezz

Guys.

GUYS.

##  _GUYS._

_Dean Fucking Winchester made Cas a mixtape._

[gif of Dean rocking out on steering wheel]

I don’t think I’ll ever be over that. 

Also, if you are either:

a) tired of me posting about that glorious tape

b) interested in seeing more of my posts/reblogs about it

my tag is  **[dean and cas’ infinite playlist](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/dean-and-cas%27-infinite-playlist)** , for all your following or blacklisting needs. :)

~~~~~~~~~

Fair warning, unlike Dean’s mixtape, which was likely carefully organized and lovingly selected, this is in no particular order.

## 1\. Baby Brain

Y’all, that opening scene with Kelly’s suicide was  _dark_. And as horrifying as it was to watch, I am glad? – that’s not the right word, but anyway – that they really showed her break and face the reality that this kid is  _not_  a normal kid and it’s likely going to kill her. 

I’m not saying I wanted her dead or anything because holy fuck that’s awful, but that scene was very realistic in terms of her mindset. And it also made her later convictions that the baby must be born as is, with all its powers, even more jarring. It’s  _supposed_  to be jarring and shows just how manipulative the baby is even now. Cas was right: the baby saving her is proof of power, not of goodness. Granted, the kid  _could_  be good and not evil – we just don’t know yet – but right now, it’s inherently a survivor at all costs. Kelly is  _not_  in her right mind and the nephilim is influencing her. If she’d always been so baby brained without  _ever_  showing that mental break, it just wouldn’t have read as authentic. Again, I’m not advocating what she did in anyway, just appreciating that it’s realistic for her to reach this very dark place, this rock bottom, and not just blithely always believe it’s all gonna be A-OK.

## 2\. Cas’ Mission and His ‘Faith’

I would’ve thought Cas had learned from S6 NOT to go behind Sam and Dean’s backs to “protect” them. As Dean said, he’s not their babysitter (*insert requisite babysitter/pizza man joke*). I was also really hoping that Cas would’ve pulled a Sam with the BMoL: work with them for a bit, realize it’s fucking nuts, and come clean. 

*sigh*

I’m not complaining. I get it, narratively/thematically. I just want these idjits to be happy and communicate more.

Also, Cas’ ‘faith’ at the end – dude, he was giving off major culty brainwashed vibes. Eerily calm and focused on his mission to make sure the baby is born. Can’t Cas not be brainwashed for once?

## 3\. The Nephilim in General

This isn’t really in regards to this episode, but I just…don’t like the nephilim idea. I’m so over mystical unwanted pregnancy plots (thanks  _Angel_!). Speaking of  _Angel,_ and going back to my first point: Kelly and Cas are a stone’s throw from Cordelia/Jasmine weirdness. Kelly also reminds me of Mia from  _The Dark Tower_  series, and if anyone has read those, you know how that worked out for poor Mia… *shudder*

(Ok, granted, as far as we know the nephilim isn’t also part spider, but that’s not my point…)

## 4\. Smart!Winchesters 

…which really is a redundant statement, unless we’re talking about when they’re being idjits, but that’s another matter entirely.

Anyway. I love seeing Sam hit the books (MoL!Sam!!), but I also LOVE seeing Dean running some tracking program as he sulks in his room. Because, sure, it wouldn’t have been out of character for him to be listening to music or something to get his mind off things, but I’m just really appreciative of them showing him doing something usually associated with Sam (on the surface level – we’ve seen Dean do this stuff before, but it’s never his “thing”, not like it is Sam’s).

## 5\. Visuals

Yay Amanda Tapping! You can come direct any time!

I love her use of frames in shots – it really makes us focus on the characters and their emotions/dynamics. Like this one:

[gif of Dean pushing Cas up against the wall ], shot through circle cut outs in partition]

I’m sure someone like [@floralmotif](https://tmblr.co/mlFJhruyNoEmi31ZmmbClMw) will have loads more to say about the technical aspects of this episode (if they haven’t already – I’m super behind on my dash).

## 6\. Dagon, you will be missed

Dagon was a cool bad guy and I’m sorry to see her go – the Princes of Hell are such an interesting piece of lore. I’m hoping Asmodeus shows up!

And, I am glad she got at least one episode not written by the terrible duo.

## 7\. The Colt

I’m…conflicted about the Colt being gone. It’s been such a central piece of the mythology, and it was awesome having it resurface this season after so long. But, in keeping with the doing things differently themes, I’m not necessarily sad to see it go. We see in 12x18 that Dean gets overconfident when he has the Colt, and as a result, he gets hurt. The Colt only has two purposes as well: unlocking/locking the Gates of Hell (and unlocking them is not a good thing) and killing monsters. The fact that this weapon is gone (like Michael’s Lance) is perhaps a step in the same direction as 11x23 and the Grace extraction option: not all ‘monsters’ have to die.

Also, the Colt has been the center of so many major betrayals/conflicts/issues this season (Mary, Cas, Eileen, Mick, Ketch….), so maybe it’s time for it to go.

## 8\. Team Free Will

Gah, this hurt. So much.

Dean wants the team back together, his family back. And his voice and expression are so hard when he says that to Cas because he’s still  _hurt_  by Cas leaving, he’s still upset. But, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want Cas around with him and Sam. 

And then Cas breaks that trust. Again. 

Fucking hell. :(

## 9\. Sam & Cas vs. Dean & Cas

Just like how 12x17 used Eileen to show the difference between platonic (Eileen & Dean) vs. romantic (Sam & Eileen), 12x19 is just one more example in our long, long lists of why Destiel is a thing, subtextually or otherwise. 

When Cas comes in, Sam’s willing to forgive Cas and wants to know about the case/Cas’ progress. There’s familial concern, but it’s also very grounded in the real problems going on in the world. Dean, though…oh Dean… For Dean, it’s  _personal_. Cas stopped calling them, he even got  ~~their~~ his messages and ignored them, he made Dean worried, he went to work with the winged dicks… all for nothing, except abandoning them.

Everything about Sam’s reactions screams “third wheel” or “friend/brother”. Meanwhile, Dean’s the brokenhearted, jilted lover.

And again with the directing: even when Sam is talking as Cas comes down the stairs, the camera is on Dean’s reactions. Dean’s reaction is the important one, not Sam’s. 

But why??????

It’s a mystery…

[gif of Dean rolling his eyes]

## 10\. Sam calls Cas

Sam calling Cas and then getting frustrated – Dean’s not even surprised that Cas doesn’t answer. And we know from Cas’ phone that Dean’s called at least three times, and Sam not at all. So Sam’s call here is the first, and it’s pretty much out of desperation. Because if Cas isn’t answering Dean, then there’s no way he’s going to answer Sam, but he’s gotta at least  _try_.

Or, this could be an instance of Sam trying to get around the obvious lover’s spat. Maybe even if Cas and Dean are having a falling out, he can get through to Cas.

## 11\. Dean Defends Cas

Dean: Let’s kicked his feathered ass!

Sam: *tries to calm Dean down*

~LATER~

Sam: WTF IS CAS DOING

Dean: Well, Cas is having a rough time, we can’t blame him for this…

Ok, so it’s kind of an exaggeration, but…it really isn’t. I just love how it’s ok for Dean to be pissed and hurt by Cas, but as soon as Sam jumps on the bandwagon, Dean’s like aw hell no gotta only I get to be pissed at my husband back da fuq off Sammy and try to understand what he’s going through.

I also really love that even though Dean is justifiably hurt, he still is trying to understand and forgive Cas.

## 12\. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Again, kudos to Jensen’s acting during the fight at the sandbox. I know there’s a post floating around there somewhere comparing his reactions to the Colt being destroyed (angry/frustrated) vs. Cas nearly dying…and holy Destiel, Batman:

[gif of Dean shouting when Cas almost dies]

Ah, Jensen. You always manage to break my heart.

## 13\. EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT CONVERSATION IN DEAN’S BEDROOM.

I told myself I wouldn’t flail more about this in my review since that’s pretty much my whole blog today, but….

HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT CONVERSATION.

THE TROPES. SO MANY TROPES.

Ok. I’m gonna cut myself off there. Go check my tag ([dean and cas’ infinite playlist](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/dean-and-cas%27-infinite-playlist))if you want more. :)

(Side note: can someone ask Jensen, when he’s not on stage/performing for…certain corners of the fandom…what he was thinking when he read this script? Like,  _oh yeah I give my buddy a mixtape obvs no homo no way anyone’s gonna read anything into that_. Come  _on_ , dude’s not stupid. He’s  _gotta_  know what the hell is going on.)

## BONUS TRACKS

Dean: We have a plan?! Let me go get my hubby! *practically skips away from the library*

And this:

[gif of Cas' hand reaching out to heal Dean's arm]

[saint sammy](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/saint-sammy) [and the](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/and-the) [hunter husbands](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/hunter-husbands) [destiel](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/destiel)[dean and cas' infinite playlist](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/dean-and-cas%27-infinite-playlist) [spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [12x19](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/12x19)[spn season 12 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-12-reviews) [dagon](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/dagon) [kelly kline](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/kelly-kline) [luci's kiddo](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/luci%27s-kiddo) [castiel](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/castiel)[dean winchester](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/dean-winchester) [sam winchester](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/sam-winchester) [team free will](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/team-free-will)[he's a lumberjack and he's ok](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/he%27s-a-lumberjack-and-he%27s-ok) [jack kline](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/jack-kline)


	40. 12x20: A Mother of an Episode

Surprise, bitches! You’re getting this review tonight!!

Warnings, especially to my under 21 crowd (if I have one….I kinda hope I don’t…. eek): There’s a reason I have a tag ‘grey makes poor life decisions’. This is a prime example of ‘do as I say, not as I do’. So, yeah. I’ve had a few margaritas. They were delicious, but don’t do what I’m doing. K? K.

So let’s see how this goes…

OK! So.. Review time!

I’m actually not going to talk about a lot of the really obvious topics in this episode (like how Max is a parallel for both Sam and Dean, at certain points – and same with Alicia, and co-dependency and whatnot) because 1) tequila 2) other people have probably talked about this ad nauseum (go me! drunk Latin!) 3) I got other shit to say.

And my other shit to say is all about the gaping holes in the narrative.

And not just the Destiel ones, although that’s certainly a part of it.

And by gaping holes, I don’t mean there’s something WRONG or MISSING, just hey, this is what WASN’T said and here’s what it means/implies. (Because that’s how subtext works, yo. And that’s how good writing works.)

Because Steve Yockey, y’all, he knows what he’s about.

So, the first gaping hole, is, of course Destiel-based: there is absolutely no way to interpret Dean’s phone call to Mary as anything other than him trying to find SOMEONE to talk to about  ~~his husband~~ Cas. Dean fucking Winchester said he wanted to TALK about something that has him ‘spun out’. This isn’t him being like, oh, hey big huntery things out there like a possibly evil nephilim sired by Satan. This is him being like, I could really uses a MOM to talk to about all this emotional ~~/romantic~~ shit.

And this brings to me my other gaping hole: Jody Mills.

(Fair warning, I kind of have a love affair with Jody Mills these days, both for personal reasons and fic writing reasons…)

Anywho.

Jody is mentioned briefly in the beginning of the episode – they’ve asked her to put an APB on Cas & Kelly (which is a beautiful reminder that the boys are FINALLY starting to actually fucking USE their resources/connections) – but Jody is ALL OVER this episode in absentia.

1) The initial mention

2) Claire’s picture on the BMoL hit list – Jody and Claire are so intertwined at this point, there’s no way we weren’t supposed to think of her as well as Claire.

3) THE MOTHERS.

Ok. The mothers.

SO MANY CALLBACKS TO JODY.

  * Caveat: I am completely aware of and supportive of the sentiment that Mary said back a few episodes: she’s not just a mom. And this applies to Jody and Tasha as well. However, for the purposes of this meta, I’m focusing on their motherhood. But I totally love that all three of these characters are rich, complex women, and that the fact they’re mothers is only a fraction of their identity. So, with that being said…
  * Tasha is a single mother who raised two kids, kind of in the life/with connections to the supernatural. Not unlike Jody.
    * Also, one of Tasha’s kiddos is super gay. Remember that for later.
  * Mary. Mary and Jody have been parallels and mirrors for each other all season, and this was certainly brought into focus with one of Yockey’s other episodes, 12x06. Mary “isn’t a hugger”, as Alicia would say, whereas Jody – despite being at the funeral for her bf – is all smiles and hugs when she meets Mary and is the one to go to Dean to tell him he has someone to talk to. And in 12x20….
    * Who does Dean try to talk to? Mary.
    * Who doesn’t respond (right away)? Mary.
    * Who would have responded? Jody.
    * SERIOUSLY DEAN. CALL JODY.
  * I’m not saying Jody is their mom. I’m just saying that Jody would be a far better emotional resource for them.
  * Ok, ok, Grey. You’re talking out of your ass. Why does EVERYTHING have to connect to Jody?
  * Well…my other big call back is the wine.
  * When was the last time we saw the boys drink wine? 11x12
  * In 12x20, Dean and “Tasha” bond over family/being a parent while drinking wine. In 11x12, there’s the Awkward Sex Ed Dinner while the boys and Jody drink wine. Later, Dean and Jody bond in the kitchen over the difficulties of parenting.
  * Speaking of that conversation:
    * JODY: And but even there, I feel like I should be teaching her about boyfriends, and relationships, you know, stuff a mom would teach her.
    * DEAN [chuckles]: Sammy and I could’ve benefited from a little of that.
  * Now, I’ll be honest, when everyone jumped on that scene as OMG DEAN IS BI, I was like, ok, but that’s kind of a stretch. Spirit of the law vs. the letter of the law, y’know? Sure, you could read that as Dean wanting to talk about boys. Or, more likely, him just saying, yeah, it’d be nice to have a parental figure to talk to about normal people relationship/growing up type stuff. (Hence his inclusion of Sam in that sentence.)
  * BUT. In light of this episode:
    * Tasha is paralleled/mirrored with both Jody and Mary.
    * Tasha has a queer son.
    * Dean wants to talk to Mary about Cas.
    * Dean has already received an offer to talk about anything from someone who would want to talk about relationships ~~with boy~~ s with her own kids.



Conclusions:

\- Dean is hella bi. (As if we didn’t already know this.)

\- Dean loves Cas.

\- Dean needs a mom-figure/someone for emotional support ESPECIALLY ABOUT HIS BIG BI CRUSH ON HIS ANGEL.

\- Jody is the best mom on SPN (ok, she and Ellen can duke it out. Or shake hands, do a shot of whiskey each, and then kick everyone’s ass at pool.)

\- Mary has a LOT of ground to cover if she wants to even approach real family.

 

 

….I hope this made some sort of sense. It does to me. But… yeah…

[spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [spn season 12 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-12-reviews) [12x20](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/12x20) [dean is bi](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/dean-is-bi) [destiel](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/destiel)[mary winchester](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/mary-winchester) [tasha banes](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/tasha-banes) [max and alicia banes](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/max-and-alicia-banes)[dean winchester](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/dean-winchester) [jody mills](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/jody-mills) [12x06](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/12x06) [11x12](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/11x12)[grey makes poor life decisions](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/grey-makes-poor-life-decisions) [i have a lot of feelings about jody mills](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/i-have-a-lot-of-feelings-about-jody-mills)


	41. 12x21 Review

They killed Eileen.

[spn season 12 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-12-reviews) [eileen leahy](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/eileen-leahy) [12x21](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/12x21)['go where the story takes us' my ass](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/%27go-where-the-story-takes-us%27-my-ass) [wank for ts](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/wank-for-ts)[the dreaded buckleming](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/the-dreaded-buckleming) [I could go into more detail](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/I-could-go-into-more-detail)[but I'm honestly too upset and angry](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/but-I%27m-honestly-too-upset-and-angry) [i'm sorry i try to be relatively positive](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/i%27m-sorry-i-try-to-be-relatively-positive)[but](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/but) [jesus christ wtf](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/jesus-christ-wtf) [i could maybe accept it if it was good writing](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/i-could-maybe-accept-it-if-it-was-good-writing)[but of course not](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/but-of-course-not) [it's not a bathtub but a fucking cold open](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/it%27s-not-a-bathtub-but-a-fucking-cold-open)[oh and that's not even getting into the other shit](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/oh-and-that%27s-not-even-getting-into-the-other-shit)[seriously this is the kind of shit that makes people quit watching](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/seriously-this-is-the-kind-of-shit-that-makes-people-quit-watching)[have they learned nothing?](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/have-they-learned-nothing%3F)[well if anyone really wanted proof that they don't give a shit about us](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/well-if-anyone-really-wanted-proof-that-they-don%27t-give-a-shit-about-us)[here it is](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/here-it-is) [fuck buckleming](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/fuck-buckleming) [spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [good night](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/good-night)


	42. 12x21 Review…part 2

I rewatched the episode. I have some non-wanky thoughts/observations, if anyone’s interested.

(This does not mean I don’t have wanky thoughts about the episode. I got plenty. I’m just not talking about them here.)

  * Crowley’s speech to Lucifer about hubris: either ironic or all part of the plan?
    * I don’t think this exactly is what Crowley WANTED to happen, but I’m fairly certain he has a contingency plan beyond “ooh hey convenient rat”.Also, what exactly is/was Crowley’s endgame with Lucifer? Like, I still really don’t get it. 
  * Both Toni and Crowley said they didn’t know who Eileen is. Even freaking Fakeo Malfoy Eric Trump knew her as “the banshee girl.”
    * Either they’re both lying, which is possible.
    * Either Toni’s lying (possible, especially considering in that same conversation she threw herself under the bus just to piss of Dean and Sam re: Ketch saying Mary’s the best sex he’s ever had) and Crowley is clueless (possible – it’s not like he’s met her and he and Sam aren’t besties).
    * Either Toni’s telling the truth (possible, considering how many gaps in her/the BMoL’s knowledge we’ve already seen) and Crowley is lying (possible, because who knows what Crowley’s true game plan is).
    * Either they’re both telling the truth (see previous reasons) – this could also be an indication that a lot of Toni’s sources for her senior thesis on the Winchesters are demon/Crowley sources, which would explain a lot.
  * Toni calling Mary’s brainwashing “repeal and replace” – aka. the same language we hear a lot in the good ol’ US of A re: healthcare. As if we didn’t need more evidence the BMoL and 45 are evil.
  * The fight scene in the Bunker was pretty cool.
  * Glad that someone finally told Mary that John basically abused his kids. I want more of this, and I’m curious to see how this plays out in the finale.
  * Competition vs. collaboration
    * I talked in my [review of 12x14](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/post/157962258783/12x14-wooing-the-winchesters) about how the BMoL fail because they can’t go outside their prescribed roles (which was paralled so well with Mary using the brass knuckles on Ketch in 12x20). Here, we see another reason why the BMoL will fail: competition. Dr. Naomi Umbridge and the higher ups in the BMoL keep their power by forcing the underlings to go Hunger Games on each other – they’re too busy fighting amongst themselves to buck the system. 
    * With the hunters? No one’s trying to the The Best Hunter. Sure, there might be some friendly competition, but that’s it. The hunters have an odd system of collaboration that actually works in their favor: they’re mostly loners/work in pairs, but they reach out each other when they need to. We’ve seen over the years that John’s way of keeping Sam and Dean isolated was NOT the norm of a lot of the hunting community: the Roadhouse, all the hunters at Asa’s funeral, the Campbell clan (although they were kind of isolated within family bounds), Bobby or Garth’s networks, etc. By and large, there’s a healthy amount of respect amongst the hunters and the end goal is help people/stop supernatural threats, not to be top dog.
  * Ketch and Toni’s dialogue about the Hellhound. “You sat for Lady Bevell! Good boy!” “How can you tell?” “I’m not going to say ‘bad dog.’ That would be unpleasant.” hahahaha loved that part



And ok, not exactly wanky, but not exactly positive…until Joss’d (and maybe even then), my fic [Escape with Eileen](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F10891527&t=NDc3MjFhOGNhNTQ0NzJmMjExNjAyZjIwYzhmYTkxZDNkNzE0MzBlYiwwNkhtMFduZQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AEfhZx9mrbYIhxW5MNPXDUQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fgrey2510.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F160781509333%2F12x21-reviewpart-2&m=1) remains my headcanon about what actually happened.

[12x21](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/12x21) [spn season 12 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-12-reviews) [not proofread and i'm kinda feeling lazy](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/not-proofread-and-i%27m-kinda-feeling-lazy)   



	43. 12x22: Raising Sammy and Seeing Dean

It’s review time!!

First of all WOW. What an episode. Berens knocked it out of the park and just… man, I could flail about this forever.

There’s so much to talk about, so I’m going to start off with some broader observations before getting into the real meat of the episode.

## MISCELLANEOUS STUFF:

  * [I liveblogged a little so, check my 12x22 tag for anything I mentioned before but not here.](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/12x22)
  * Lol. Roy and Walt. Seriously?
  * Garth is alive!
  * Claire is alive! (as far as we know)
  * Toni: I’m glad to see her gone. Do I feel for her son? Sure, but there was pretty much nothing she could to redeem herself in my eyes. They went WAY darker with that character than I was expecting at the beginning of the season/end of last season and she just gets an all around NOPE in my book. That being said, I did love her rant about how Sam and Dean are action-movie-loving, cheeseburger-eating, American lunatics. And how Dean was just like YEP.
  * Ketch: What a bastard. But he will be missed. Ok, more like DHJ will be missed. (If I didn’t have so many other things I really desperately want for S13 after watching 12x23, I’d be cashing my chip for Ketch’s super sweet Canadian shifter version to join TFW just so we could keep DHJ around.) As much as I disliked Ketch as a psychopath, I really enjoyed his character. I think what made me like him better than Toni, even though they were equally as dark, is that Ketch knew he was an evil bastard…he just didn’t give a shit. Toni somehow thought she was still in the right, still better than the (other) psychopath.
  * Dr. Naomi Umbridge: The fact that she didn’t know the different between Sam and Dean was just a great reminder about how utterly clueless the BMoL truly are. And so much of that is context – they have some facts, but they don’t really see how they fit together. (I’ll talk more about the Sam-Dean thing later.) Also, I am curious to see if the BMoL will make an appearance again – it’s not like they’ve been entirely wiped out, which Hess reminds us of with her phone call.
  * JODY MY QUEEN. Fuck I love this woman probably more than I should (no, that’s a lie…there’s no such thing as loving her too much). I loved all of her moments with Sam and Dean and Alex. Anyone who thinks the brothers don’t need anyone else in their lives can fuck right off because this episode and 12x06 and really every episode she’s been in has been a case study of how having family is a good, grounding, positive influence. (Also, if you want my thoughts on Jody as a “mother”, [ **click here**](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/post/160846397708/somekindofsaviour-yourfavoritedirector-mom).) 
    * Other Jody moment: A+ having her shoot Dr. Naomi Umbridge. [This whole season has been about motherhood](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/post/160352535078/12x20-a-mother-of-an-episode), and if anyone says that Mary is the ultimate dark mirror to someone like Jody, well then you haven’t been paying attention to the Kendricks School of the Fucked Up. Dr. Naomi Umbridge is the mother of the BMoL and Jesus did she REALLY fuck up her kids. (There’s a part of me that really wants to compare her to Dench’s M, especially in  _Skyfall_ and how that relationship gets twisted, but it’s been a long time since I’ve watched that and I have way more to talk about.)
  * **THE GRENADE LAUNCHER. YIPPEE KI YAY–**



So…now onto Sam and Dean…

## MAKING THE SUBTEXT MAINTEXT

  * One of the things I really loved about this episode is that it really brought out things that the fandom has been saying FOR YEARS (and that the show has been implying). So much of S12 has been about stripping down the walls and facades and I am so looking forward to where that brings us in S13.
  * So here we go in this regard:



## RAISING SAMMY 

  * I’ve talked with @thayerkerbasy a few times about one of the most frustrating aspects of Sam’s character: the fact that he’s permanently stuck as the little brother/child and he never really seems to “grow up.” As an eldest sibling, I can’t really relate, except to recognize certain traits and experiences from my youngest sibling and try to understand them. But in this episode, SAM FINALLY GETS TO GROW UP.
  * He doesn’t “hide” behind Dean or let anyone else lead. It’s funny – for a character who has always wanted to assert himself and be his own person (Stanford, for instance), he’s never really been sure how to do that, or truly given the opportunity (and have that choice be supported). His default, more often than not, is to follow. That’s what he was raised to do.
    * Interestingly, my youngest sibling is the same way: they’re the one who’ll say lol imma do my own thing if something doesn’t suit them, but they’re ALSO the one to default to my middle sibling and I, letting us make the decisions and lead if our goals are the same. Little siblings are weird. :P
  * We’ve seen shades of this all season, of Sam stepping up, and I’m so excited to see that come to fruition here: Sam (and Jody) taking charge in the demon possession in 12x06, Sam taking charge like a fucking BOSS in 12x14 when the BMoL prove how inept they are, etc.
  * Here, we have Sam admit that following is easier, but also recognizing that that’s how you get led astray, when you don’t think for yourself. 
  * We also see Sam immediately default to little brother status (saying that he and Dean called the hunters together) to finally taking ownership of the decision and being the general (clarifying that no, it was HE who called the hunters together).
    * Let’s not forget that Sam has always been the one the other hunters are leery of…which was hightlighted beautifully with Walt and Roy’s reappearance. Maybe now Sam can FINALLY shed the stigma he’s been carrying around with him for a decade. 
      * Also, because I love 12x06: The Walts and Roys and Gordons and Elvis Katzs of the world, who hate Sam…well, they don’t have a long shelf life.
  * AND THEN HE RAN THAT OPERATION LIKE HE WAS FUCKING BORN TO IT.
  * And Dr. Naomi Umbridge’s expectation that it would be Dean running the show? Yeah, definitely an example of the BMoL being clueless, like I said, but ALSO a great demonstration of how Sam and Dean are FINALLY doing things differently. Because, yeah, Dean’s the one most people would expect to be the leader of the hunters, the one who’d come knock down the BMoL’s door. But, this time, it isn’t. Because Sammy is finally Sam.
  * [Mushu gif "My little Baby, off to destroy people"]



## SEEING DEAN

  * Oh god, where to begin with Dean. Jesus, every second of Dean and Mary’s time in dreamland was fucking gold. I got chills as soon as Dean said, “I hate you.” 
    * I know I’ve said this before, but SOMEONE GIVE JENSEN AN AWARD. LIKE, A SERIOUS ONE. ONE THAT NON-FANDOM/NON-GENRE SHOWS PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT.
  * Dean FORGIVES Mary. And whoa does that have so much more weight, given 12x23…
  * “I had to be more than just a brother. I had to be a father. And I had to be a mother. To keep him safe. And it wasn’t fair. And I couldn’t do it.”
    * THIS.
    * THIS.
    * THIS.
    * Ok, I’ve been talking about mothers all along, but DEAN SAID THAT HE HAD TO BE MARY FOR SAM. Not just a father, he had to be BOTH.
      * There is so much to unpack about this.
  * And to go back to “Raising Sammy”: we see this so clearly, even BEFORE Dean says those lines to Mary. When I was liveblogging, I made a post when Dean told Sam he was ready to lead the hunters, [In case we weren’t sure Dean is Sam’s parent… we get a nice Jody & Alex parallel. :)](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/post/160820733628/in-case-we-werent-sure-dean-is-sams-parent-we). IF I HAD ONLY KNOWN THAT DEAN WOULD THEN TEXTUALLY CONFIRM SOMETHING THAT HAD BEEN SHOWN ONLY THROUGH PARALLELS AND SUBTEXT.
  * Do you see where I’m going with this?
  * **AND THEN, THE REAL KICKER:**
    * **“I need you to really see me.”**
  * THIS IS WHAT DEAN HAS WANTED PEOPLE TO DO ALL ALONG. Mary, Sam, Cas… All those walls, that whole performance is coming down, and Dean wants to people to FINALLY really see who he is. I can’t even list all the moments we’ve had of this all season, so here’s my performing!Dean tag: [he’s a lumberjack and he’s ok](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/he%27s-a-lumberjack-and-he%27s-ok)



Now the question remains… what ELSE will Dean/the show finally make maintext that’s been “hidden” in the subtext?

(I[ think you know my answer to that.](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/dean-is-bi))

Ok… onto 12x23′s rewatch, and then [ **the review**](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/post/160856149553/12x23-an-angel-gets-his-wings)!

[spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [12x22](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/12x22) [spn season 12 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-12-reviews) [dean winchester](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/dean-winchester)[dean and sam](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/dean-and-sam) [sam winchester](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/sam-winchester)[sam sympathizes and dean empathizes](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/sam-sympathizes-and-dean-empathizes) [he's a lumberjack and he's ok](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/he%27s-a-lumberjack-and-he%27s-ok)[mary winchester](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/mary-winchester) [jody mills](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/jody-mills) [i have a lot of feelings about jody mills](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/i-have-a-lot-of-feelings-about-jody-mills)[ketch](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/ketch) [toni bevell](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/toni-bevell)


	44. 12x23: An Angel Gets His Wings

Yeah…I’m going with an  _It’s a Wonderful Life_  reference because I’m a mean and horrible person.

[gif of Dean kneeling beside Cas' body]

So remember how someone asked Misha if there’d be wings in the finale and he said yes and like everyone was all excited? Yeah, this is why I wasn’t.

(Although, I was hoping it’d be Lucifer.)

More thoughts…

(oh and make sure you didn’t miss my [12x22 review](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/post/160852544073/12x22-raising-sammy-and-seeing-dean)!)

## A Whole New World

  * But there’s another reason  _It’s a Wonderful Life_  is so relevant: the AU. I’m going to call it The War World because we ain’t talking some Coffee Shop AU here. (If someone comes up with a better name, I’m all ears.) So in The WW, Sam and Dean were never born, and the world goes to shit. 
  * This completely – in a totally terrible way – justifies Mary’s deal with Azazel, which Dean (and Sam) forgave her for in 12x22.
    * In my mind, though, this does NOT excuse her for not putting up a single fucking ward on the house – especially considering 12x06 explicitly confirms that she did not completely walk away from the life.
    * Sorry, I have a lot of feelings about that.
    * La la la ignore me.
  * What I also want to know, though, is just how far back these two worlds diverge. The rules seem fundamentally different in The WW: angels wear necklaces of baby ears or whatever, demons actually look like demons, etc. I would be very surprised if this split occurred in 1973/1979/1983/the 2000s. Not to mention the fact that the sense you get from Bobby is that this is the way it’s always been, not a recent development in the last decade(s) or so.
  * Lucifer gets his Apocalypse. Wonder if it’s all he truly ever wanted…
    * Also, is WW!Lucifer around? I’m so very curious about this.
  * Mary getting sucked into The WW was eerily similar to Swan Song. And I’m really curious to see how this plays out.
  * I have many other thoughts about this, but I’ve already bookmarked them for my summer hiatus fic…
    * Which will have to wait until July. I’m only on Round 2 of 6 of the Grading Apocalypses.
      * I don’t like having to know the plural of Apocalypse in this context.



## Kelly Kline Deserved Better

  * I don’t mean this in a wanky way, or in a criticism of the episode/writing way. I mean this from a completely human perspective.
  * This poor woman got screwed over so many times by life. And yet, she still kept trucking. Maybe it was the nephilim’s influence (after all, she did hit rock bottom and try to kill herself at one point), but I still have to admire her, considering what she went through. And once she got in the hands of competent writers, you finally see her as a real, relatable person. I mean, who hasn’t gotten  ~~ir~~ rationally angry at assembling Swedish furniture?
  * And then, she died alone. Alone and scared and in pain, doing what she thought is right.
  * Aaaand we’re back to the motherhood theme of S12.



## Don’t Tell Me Destiel Isn’t Real

  * Seriously, just don’t.
  * Between Cas only greeting Dean, to [Sam having to physically drag Dean away from Cas charging after Lucifer in The WW (like Dean did with Sam in 1x01)](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/post/160833483518/rosewhipped22-0101-1223), to the absolute [heartbroken anguish as Dean falls to his knees by Cas’ body](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/post/160855143303/dailydestielposts-im-sobbing-dean-was-in-love)… yeah.



## THE DEATHS

Jesus, Dabb…

**ROWENA**

  * If they perma-killed her like this, off-screen, I’m gonna be pissed. Like Eileen wasn’t bad enough. 
  * Some have argued that her arc was “over” because she’d had her epiphany in 12x11 about power and what’s important in the world (and then some stuff happened in 12x13 blah blah I honestly don’t remember that episode at all and keep legitimately forgetting it exists). But, I’m tired of epiphany being the end-game. Living with this new worldview is still a good story and it’s an IMPORTANT story. And I really wish SPN would give characters the space to do that.
    * Mick, Rowena (if actually dead), Crowley (if actually dead), Cas (kinda…ish…more on that in a bit)
  * I’m not 100% convinced she’s perma-dead, though. Jury’s still out, as far as I’m concerned. But, they already pulled that trick with her, with Lucifer no less, so…
  * Blergh.



**CROWLEY**

  * If Crowley is well and truly dead, then I’m glad that this was the death he got. He finally realized that being King sucks (dude, could have just asked Dean…) and that he’s better off with the Winchesters. And then, he died like a hero. He didn’t even tell Sam or Dean ahead of time that that was his plan. He just did it, no fanfare.
  * But, like I said with Rowena, I would love to see Crowley as the only demon on Earth, as the newest member of TFW…kinda, living with this new worldview and position in life. 
  * Not entirely relevant to Crowley’s death, but Dean’s reaction to Crowley was far more visceral than Sam’s…which is saying something, considering that Crowley’s crime is letting out the one person/being that legitimately terrifies Sam. If anything, SAM should be the one punching Crowley in the face and stabbing his hand. But it’s Dean. Why? 
    * [The Love Chevron.](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/the-love-chevron)
    * When else have we seen Dean react more strongly than Sam to a “betrayal”, real or otherwise? With Cas. Cas and Crowley have been paralleled all season (and before – like the deleted scenes in S10 where they are argue over who is Dean’s boyfriend). The difference is, though, [Crowley and Dean are the slightly antagonistic but mostly civil exes](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/the-slightly-antagonistic-but-mostly-civil-exes), and [Cas and Dean are practically married](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/hunter-husbands).
  * If Crowley isn’t perma-dead…well…I have some ideas about how that might work…
    * Over the rainbow and through the looking glass are my only clues in this regard because again, summer fic ideas are percolating…



**CAS**

  * Narratively, Cas being dead doesn’t really make sense. His story isn’t over. It can’t be. His journey has been about choosing between Heaven and Earth (*cough*humanity…if ya know what I mean*cough*), and he’s then bound to a creature that is literally both, and then he just dies?
  * Also, what happened in The WW before Cas and Lucifer popped back out? There’s clearly something missing, because Cas strolls out like it ain’t no thing, after charging after Lucifer. If he’d emerged looking like he’d just been in a fight, then…yeah.
  * And, Cas was…off. He’s been [Jasmine](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FJasmine_%28Angel%29&t=N2Q0ZDY4OTM1NDEwNjFjZTg4YTA5NzdiNTAzY2VkNDk1OGFlZjkwZSxlRjJxOEx1Ng%3D%3D&b=t%3AEfhZx9mrbYIhxW5MNPXDUQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fgrey2510.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F160856149553%2F12x23-an-angel-gets-his-wings&m=1)’d by Jack into thinking Paradise is going to be in the future. 
    * Peace or freedom? We can’t just ignore that.
  * But, until I have 100% certifiable proof that Cas is alive/Misha is back, let’s talk about options:
    * Cas is perma-dead and Misha doesn’t come back. The fandom riots (and Dabb realizes he done fucked up and they weirdly bring him back late in the game, a la S7).
    * Cas will come back to life. My bets are on Jack and/or the nephilim power Cas was hopped up on.
    * Cas as we know him doesn’t come back to life, but Misha comes back for S13:
      * WW!Castiel…which, could be interesting, but 1) it’s like reverse [Down to Agincourt](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fseries%2F110651&t=ZDVhZDhlNmQ5OGZmMWQ2OWY0Nzg0YzhmM2Q0ZGNjYWZmMDI1ZmFkNSxlRjJxOEx1Ng%3D%3D&b=t%3AEfhZx9mrbYIhxW5MNPXDUQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fgrey2510.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F160856149553%2F12x23-an-angel-gets-his-wings&m=1) (but then again, so much of S12 was like it was lifted from a fan fic, so why not…) 2) I really really don’t want to rehash S4-5 of Cas’ character growth and development 3) no shallow copies of our beloved character please.
      * WW!Jimmy…which, actually, makes more sense in my mind since Castiel would have had no reason to take Jimmy if Dean was never in Hell/needed to be rescued. This could be interesting, too… 
  * …but really, I just want Cas back.



 

This hiatus is gonna suuuuuuuuuuck.

[spn season 12 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-12-reviews) [12x23](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/12x23) [spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [au bobby singer](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/au-bobby-singer)[i know i missed stuff](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/i-know-i-missed-stuff) [there was so much to unpack and think about](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/there-was-so-much-to-unpack-and-think-about)[destiel](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/destiel) [lucifer](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/lucifer) [kelly kline](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/kelly-kline) [the war world](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/the-war-world) [luci's kiddo](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/luci%27s-kiddo)[if the three deaths all stay permanent](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/if-the-three-deaths-all-stay-permanent) [then we got changebaited](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/then-we-got-changebaited)[starting with eileen](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/starting-with-eileen) [and if dabb doesn't resolve things](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/and-if-dabb-doesn%27t-resolve-things)[then he's a fucking douchebag](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/then-he%27s-a-fucking-douchebag) [because he knows and he played us](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/because-he-knows-and-he-played-us)[he did the innocent oooh not me i'm on your side! at sdcc with the charlie question](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/he-did-the-innocent-oooh-not-me-i%27m-on-your-side%21-at-sdcc-with-the-charlie-question)[and then all season gave us subverting the story episodes](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/and-then-all-season-gave-us-subverting-the-story-episodes)[and then eileen happened](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/and-then-eileen-happened) [and to me that was really the turning point](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/and-to-me-that-was-really-the-turning-point)[so i'm not sure what to think of this episode](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/so-i%27m-not-sure-what-to-think-of-this-episode)[s13 has a lot of explaining to do](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/s13-has-a-lot-of-explaining-to-do) [or i'm out](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/or-i%27m-out)['go where the story takes us' my ass](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/%27go-where-the-story-takes-us%27-my-ass) [jack kline](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/jack-kline)


	45. 13x01: There’s a Hole in the World

_Feels like we ought to have known._

[gif of Dean "We've lost everything"]

(Review under the cut.)

Ok, so other than showing once again that I really love BtVS/AtS, that quote really does sum up a lot of this episode. The whole episode is about loss and who/what is missing, and that way it’s told sometimes lets the holes speak for themselves.

They say it over and over: they’ve lost so many people, and so there are numerous holes in their lives. The biggest one, however, is Cas.

Jack chose Cas as his father, and as he tells the sheriff (whom I love and I want her and her son to join WS), he’s looking for his father, who was supposed to be there, but wasn’t.

Sam is still “spun out” from everything and is choked up and emotional when he gives the eulogy. Sure, Sam is able to function better in this episode with all of these losses, but he’s clearly hurting and misses Cas as well. He’s reluctant to burn the body, suggesting they pray or do something to bring him back. 

Dean. Oh Dean. I don’t know if there are words to do his grief and mourning justice. It’s abundantly clear, however, that Cas is the biggest hole in his world right now, and that his grief is different and separate from that of Sam’s. Other meta people have talked about this at length, so I won’t here, but yeah. Heartbreaking stuff. And I don’t think you need shipper goggles to see that Dean was far more affected than Sam.

The way the episode is shot and ordered also makes use of “holes”: we don’t see Dean (and Sam?) bring Cas’ body into the house before they go after Jack. But obviously he/they must have. We don’t see him/them cover Cas’ body with a shroud on the table before they leave, but he/they must have.  ~~(Pre-12x19, we didn’t see Dean give Cas the mixtape, but he must have.)~~

We don’t see Dean pray or smash up his hand at first, but we know  _exactly_  what happened to him and why, even before the flashback or before Drunk Angel and Sam bring it up. Not to say that the prayer and buccaneer smashing wasn’t powerful (and I loved it, not just for Cas, but for Crowley, too), but the unspoken and unseen gap that we as the audience experienced was just as, if not more, powerful. 

And this kind of storytelling completely validates subtext. Now, it’s true, it might be a stretch to say SPN is subtextually sending us messages from aliens in the future. I’m sure someone has made a reading of the show that way. I’m not talking about that kind of subtext/interpretation. I’m talking about deliberate holes in the story that force the audience to imagine and fill in the gaps, and without the audience reaching a certain understanding of what happened in the gap, what follows makes no sense.

This isn’t a plot hole. That’s different. A plot hole is when you try to mentally fill in the gap and it just doesn’t make sense/there’s no way to logically get from A to B.

A deliberate hole, meant for a subtextual reading, is an important tool in a writer’s toolbox. 

I’ve talked about this before **[here](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/post/151401346438/bluestar86-awed-frog-f-ckyeahfutbol) **(heads up – there’s some discussion of some rape/sexual assault and abortion in literature).

Essentially, the post talks about how if the audience isn’t expected to get the subtext of what happened in between the penultimate and the last scene in  _A Streetcar Name Desire_ , then the entire ending of the play makes absolutely no sense. Why did Blanche have a mental breakdown? What is it that Stella says she can’t believe, not if she wants to keep living with Stanley? The audience has to answer those questions for themselves, and they do so by reading the subtext, the “hole.”

As I said in that other post:

> Subtext and narrative gaps aren’t just “extras” in the story or a forgettable b-plot. They aren’t just things that weirdo obsessed fans think about because they have too much time on their hands.  _They are an integral part of the narrative. They encourage the audience to be active participants, to think critically, and to not just be passive consumers._
> 
> Subtext and narrative gaps  _are part of the narrative._

So, all that subtextual grief and mourning and longing in 13x01, particularly from Dean? Completely valid readings that are integral to understanding the mindsets of the characters.

 

## Other Thoughts From the Episode:

  * Jack calling Sam “Father” before we learn that he was talking about Cas – how much do you think it gutted Sam to be compared to/mistaken for Lucifer? You know he had to be thinking, “Oh god, does Jack recognize/sense some remnant of Lucifer in me?”
  * The recap – AND NOTHING ELSE MATTERS!!!!
    * And Eileen!!!!! (And still flailing over Saileen/Destiel parallels.)
  * The title card: [gif of eye of Sauron]



(Ok, so I actually liked the title card, but c’mon, you know that’s what everyone’s gotta be thinking.)

[spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [spn season 13 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-13-reviews) [13x01](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/13x01) [destiel](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/destiel) [jack kline](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/jack-kline)[sam winchester](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/sam-winchester)


	46. 13x02: Daddy Issues

Ya know, for a Buckleming, that was a good episode. I mean, there were definitely things to check off for BINGO, but overall, not bad.

Some thoughts, in no particular order:

  * So many daddy issues: 
    * Jack is still conflicted about his real father, his chosen father, and these two guys that he kind of looks up to and who may or may not hate him.
    * Sam is trying to do what John DIDN’T do for him. I really love how Sam’s taking charge more and is really coming into his own.
    * Dean is a hot mess and is in danger of becoming John 2.0. Of course, we know that Dean won’t ever go down that road completely, but he’s hurting and he’s pulling some of the same crap that John did to his kids.
      * Oh and what common event caused both these men to break? Losing a loved one? Hm. That’s interesting.
    * Lucifer, on both sides of the spectrum. Blah blah he’s still pissed at God and apparently he’s Emo™ and Misunderstood and Mary couldn’t possibly know what that he actually always wanted to be Father of the Year and run a preschool for fledgling angels and be a foster parent for wayward seraphim and shucks he woulda just been so cuddly.
    * Asmodeus!Bartender just kind of lays it out there… *anvils*


  * Speaking of Asmodeus… at least our bad guy sounds like he just walked out of a bad Civil War reenactment? Symbolism?
  * Shadim? Interesting or hokey? Can’t decide. Need more data.
  * What’s the deal with Wyoming and Hell Gates? And why would John’s journal suddenly have this fun fact/the boys JUST discover it?? 
  * Donatello: I love that he’s still soulless and has found a work-around for managing that. WWMRD? is an excellent credo, soul or not.
    * Considering Donatello was always an incredibly logical, rational, scientific person, I don’t think being soulless has been that much of a change for him. Not that he was a bad guy before Amara, but I doubt he was spending all his free time on Tumblr flailing about his feels…
  * Mary gets attacked by a creepy dude and “saved” by another creepy dude who wants to torture her. BINGO.
  * AND IN THIS CORNER, WE HAVE THE REIGNING CHAMPION, MIIIIIIIIICHAEL. AND IN THIS CORNER, FRESH FROM ANOTHER WORLD, LUUUUUCIFERRRRRR. LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!!!
    * Seriously? Lucifer, fisticuffs? Is THAT what we missed at Stull? 
    * I’ve never been happier that Sam jumped in to the Pit with Adam…
  * Jack is a precious smol bean who must be protected at all costs and given lots of hugs.
  * Dean also needs lots of hugs, even if he would probably stab anyone who tried right now.
    * I’m not excusing his reaction to Jack, even if I do understand it. 
  * SCOOBY DOO CARTOONS.
    * Gahhhhh so much to unpack there. 8x11 (not Scooby Doo but cartoons), 12x11, upcoming 13x16….
    * Dean’s face nearly destroyed me when he half smiled and then scowled.
  * Dean took Cas to the dentist? #married
    * Oh, and like all the other thousand times Dean mentioned Cas…
  * I mean, sure, I want the boys to be happy but dude, Dean grieving right now is just so on point. A+ Jensen, as always.
  * Sam always seems like he’s on the verge of being like DEAN I KNOW YOU’RE UPSET ABOUT CAS BECAUSE YOU LOVED HIM and he just never gets there. Gahhhh. 
    * I mean, he even phrases it as they lost people they love….
  * Speaking of people Dean misses… THE BLACK SPUR BAR???? Oh you mean the bar has the same name as where he and Crowley spent time during their summer of love???? Oh, and what does Dean do when he’s drinking alone there? Right, look at his phone! 



[gif of Crowley look at Summer of Love pics]  
(thank you [@thayerkerbasy](https://tmblr.co/mnmruVrY3w7bx5YX5qutl4g) for digging that out for me…and thank you to whomever the gif belongs)

 

….I probably missed lots but I’m tired. G’night <3

[spn season 13 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-13-reviews) [13x02](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/13x02) [spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers)[the slightly antagonistic but mostly civil exes](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/the-slightly-antagonistic-but-mostly-civil-exes) [destiel](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/destiel) [lucifer](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/lucifer)[mary winchester](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/mary-winchester) [au michael](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/au-michael) [jack kline](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/jack-kline) [dean winchester](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/dean-winchester)[sam winchester](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/sam-winchester) [asmodeus](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/asmodeus)


	47. 13x03: Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

[Mushu "I LIVE" gif]

Ok just had to get that out of the way…

So, rambly thoughts because I won’t have time to rewatch tomorrow and do a real review…

  * “This would be more fun if you screamed” “Tough.” You go, Missouri! I mean, sucks that you’re dead and I feel like you were underused, but at least you went out like a fucking badass.
  * Kelly’s video :( I’m still annoyed it took until 12x23 for us to see her as anything other than a victim.
  * I was kinda hoping Sam was going to give  ~~Neo~~  Jack a spoon.
  * Sam, how about a little empathy here?
  * I WANTED MORE JODY AND DEAN. Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Someone please write me Jody and Dean talking fics. I would write them myself but 1) I kind of did in my current fic, but it wouldn’t fit this episode 2) I….really need to go back and finish that damn fic.
  * Patience: you’re a dear and I can’t wait to see you do amazing things on WS.
  * Patience and volleyball girl: ummm maybe there’s a reason Patience isn’t interested in that boy, and I don’t think him being bad at  _that_  kind of chemistry was the issue…
  * Oh Dean, sweetie…Don’t give her the doom and gloom. I know you’re hurting but that’s not what she needs to hear right now.
    * PS. You KNOW Jody got into the car and was like WTF WAS THAT, DEAN? And then made him talk about it and SERIOUSLY SOMEONE WRITE ME SOME JODY AND DEAN BFF FIC.
  * Sam vs. Dean
    * Sam: You’re totally right to call out Dean on saying he’d kill Jack. Whatever Dean might have intended, that’s not how Jack interpreted it and it was fucking  _harsh_. 
    * Dean: You’re not wrong in calling Sam out for wanting something from Jack. That doesn’t mean Sam’s totally heartless or uncaring about Jack, though.
    * SAM ALWAYS GOES BACK TO MARY BEING THE BIG LOSS AND DEAN IS LIKE  **NO**  I CAN’T GET OVER CAS.
  * And then, Jack decides to bring back Cas or communicate with him because that’s what Dean wants.
    * He doesn’t try to call to Mary across the universes or open up a portal… nope, he goes to Cas, his adopted father and the root of Dean’s grief.
  * OH HEY CAS.
    * Seriously… that whole bit was straight out of BtVS 3x03. PARALLELS.



[spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [13x03](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/13x03) [wayward sisters](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/wayward-sisters) [spn season 13 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-13-reviews)[patience turner](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/patience-turner) [castiel](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/castiel) [jack nougat kline](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/jack-nougat-kline) [jody mills](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/jody-mills)[i have a lot of feelings about jody mills](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/i-have-a-lot-of-feelings-about-jody-mills)


	48. 13x04: Mirror, Mirror

…although really, the original episode title is just as apt a metaphor.

So the whole episode is about mirrors and empty spaces. No wonder Jack was watching “The Clone Wars” at the beginning. What I love about that is that the “obvious” joke there is about Anakin/Darth Vader and Jack – which is only obvious if you’re at all familiar with Star Wars (and if you’re not, wtf have you been doing with your life?? how big is that fucking boulder you’re living under??)…but then we all blow right past  _the literal title of the show_  in an episode about  _shapeshifters_ and  _Eldritch monster doubles_.

**The mirrors and doubles:**

  * Shifter!Dean is the bloodthirsty, sadistic monster that Jack thinks Dean is–or could be–when it comes to him. Shifter!Dean is the threat disguised as a friend.
    * And then that’s subverted by the end: Dean turns a corner with Jack and Sam. No, he’s not ok at all (he even says that), but he at least acknowledges that he’s been a jerk.
  * Shifter!Kelly is the mouthpiece for Mia’s real feelings and situation, mirrored with Jack’s. The monsters don’t have to be monstrous.
  * Bad shifter dude is a dark mirror for Sam: he tries to convince Mia to give into her abilities and become a monster. Sam wants Jack to use his powers to achieve Sam’s ends. Obviously, one is evil and horrible, the other is rooted in good intentions. But both address the issue of choice and nature vs. nurture: Jack and Mia only want to use their monsterness to help people and they want to choose how and when they act.
  * Empty!Cas represents all of Cas’ fears, insecurities, and depression. @ibelieveinthelittletreetopper pointed out that the voice sounded like Alistair and once she said it, I was like,  _yes, that’s what it is._  Legit, it was bugging me that I couldn’t place the weird accent other than “it sounds familiar/like he’s impersonating someone.” Alistair was Dean’s darkness, his fears, his self-loathing. It makes complete sense that Empty!Cas would be the same.
  * Mary and Kelly: Sam finally broke!! That sounds horrible, but seriously, it needed to be said. Sam is  _not_  ok and he has every right to want his mom and to hold out hope for her AND to be jealous about Dean’s relationship with her. As much as I still think they were both colossal idiots for thinking the BMoL were at all good/competent last year, is really any wonder that Sam jumped at the chance to work with the people his mom was working with? Anyway, Kelly is the mom Sam wants–Dean, too. (Or, at least, she’s what they think they want.) But Mary is not Kelly. (My bias: I don’t like Mary. I like her  _character_  and I like her role on the show, but Mary as a person? No thanks. I am way too much of a Jody to fathom some of Mary’s decisions and basic operating procedures.) 



Did I miss any? I feel like I did. *should probably go to bed*

  
**The empty spaces:**

Holy fuck, were the empty spaces important. Of course, we have the literal Empty. *inserts meaningful commentary on Eldritchy stuff and tags @trisscar368 for more of that stuff*

But that’s not what interests me. Be warned, this is pretty much straight up Destiel from here on out.

Textually, the big empty space in the brothers’ and their nougat intern son-brother’s lives is their respective mothers. Repeatedly, Sam says that this is all about losing Mary, and that that is the root of all their (Sam and Dean’s) grief. And yet, Dean explicitly says that he’s accepted that Mary is dead–even if he is still grieving that loss–but last episode, he explicitly says that it’s Cas’ death that he can’t get past. 

Skip to this episode, and Sam’s still banging on about losing Mary even though Dean just said he’s upset he missed out on all the banging on with Cas. (Ok, I exaggerate but c’mon…wordplay. It was right there.) Dean doesn’t disagree that he’s upset about Mary, but literally everything the episode does is emphasize that Dean’s grief is not about Mary–or at least, not entirely.

People have already meta’d Dean’s open arm on the couch, resting along the back, as if there should be someone sitting there in the middle. Like, ya know, Cas.

Every conversation about their grieving process seems to be on the verge of mentioning that Dean is more upset/differently upset about Cas than Sam. And then, there’s nothing. But what do we get in that empty space? Cas in the Empty. The show  _repeatedly_  cuts to Cas whenever Dean gets emotional. This is basic narrative storytelling. It’s the equivalent of asking a rhetorical question effectively, as in, the only answer you’re gonna get is the one you want…probably because you set up the next part of your argument specifically to answer that question.

Speaking of rhetorical questions…

Empty!Cas says he knows who Cas loves. I refuse to quibble over 12x12′s lines again, but yeah, we’ve got Cas and love again. This instance in 13x04, though, reminds me of 11x11 when Mildred told Dean he was pining for someone else and then we were all supposed to fill in the blank of WHO? (And if you’re doing a bad surface-level reading, it’s Amara, but Dean doesn’t pine for her and even says their connection freaks him out. So who does that leave?) So who does Cas love? And in what way?

C'est un mystère.

 

**Final thoughts:**

  * Jack gets a hug!
  * New coat for Cas! Although, honestly, I want him to not have a trench coat at all. And  _no_  that was not a naked!Cas/Misha joke. I just really want him in some new huntery duds. Or really freaking anything other than the standard Cas uniform. Put him a damn tutu for cryin’ out loud, as long as it makes him happy and he gets to choose it.
  * Mia was awesome
  * I wanted more therapy. Please let Dean legit talk to someone  _without_  Sam or Jack around.
  * Jack saying he doesn’t feel much of anything. Interesting…
  * Cas stubbornly annoyed an Eldritch entity so much that it let him go. <3
  * Still loving Sam’s emotional breakdown. We don’t see him lose his cool that much anymore. We say Dean’s the repressed one, but let’s be real: Dean leaks emotions all over the place. Sam’s wound up so tight he’s gonna implode at some point.



[destiel](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/destiel) [spn season 13 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-13-reviews) [spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [13x04](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/13x04)


	49. 13x05: O’ Death

Holy fucking shit.

I think this might be my favorite episode of the season so far – which, given the quality of episodes is really saying something.

Ok, so semi-coherent flailing…

## THE MOTW PLOT

  * So many episode callbacks in structure/story:
    * 1x10 “Asylum”, 7x19 “Of Grave Importance”, 10x17 “Red Meat” – for obvious reasons. There are probably others, but these are the ones that jumped out to me.
    * 1x03 “Dead in the Water” – Dean’s moments with Lucas are when I first really started to love his character and so I was so glad to see that side of him with Sean here. I think this also is an interesting parallel to the Jack situation: we  _know_  that Dean is empathetic to children who are traumatized or need help/guidance. That’s who he is. So the fact that he  _hasn’t_  been like that with Jack, there’s a  _reason_  for it. I’m not saying he’s 100% right when it comes to Jack, but that isn’t him being just a jerk or whatever.
  * I really like that this was a good, proper creepy episode.
  * Did anyone else get Jody vibes from the mom? The short dark hair, the hurt/dead son…
  * Sam “comforting” the mom at the end: it’s so clear he doesn’t know what to do. And I don’t mean that as a dig at Sam. I mean, the woman just lost her  _son_. That’s not a “walk it off, you’ll be fine” kind of thing. But, visually and narratively, it’s paralleled with Sam trying to deal with Dean’s grief. And he really doesn’t know what to do with Dean. He’s trying, but Dean’s grief is so beyond Sam’s capabilities. (Again, not a dig at Sam. He’s human, he’s hurting, too, and he’s not a professional grief counselor or therapist.)



## BILLIE AND DEAN

  * Dean almost acting like a reaper for Sean – I thought that was cool and for a moment I was wondering if Dean was going to have to become Death/a reaper somehow.
  * Hot damn. I never knew how much I needed Billie in that ensemble with a scythe until tonight. On a less shallow note, all the awards to Lisa Berry for being fucking badass and awesome in this scene. She was so otherworldly, even moreso than just Billie the Reaper has been in the past. There was no doubt from the first moment that this was Death.
  * Death’s HQ was super cool. I also really like that the desk is by the W’s…guess there’s a lot of business there. :P
  * Red headed witch??????? YES PLEASE.
  * Billie still plays by the rules. It’s interesting that she’s changed her tune a (kinda) on the Winchesters and dying. But, in a sense, she really hasn’t. The only reason she wanted to reap them before was because she believed the were breaking the rules. Now, as Death, she sees that there are other rules and purposes at play. 
  * The whole conversation between her and Dean. Jesus, Lisa and Jensen deserve so many awards. Lisa nailed it with the gravitas and Jensen’s face told a thousand stories. That scene was gold.
  * YOU HAVE WORK TO DO.
    * *continues to flail*



## DESTIEL

  * Holy bejeebus that actually happened right?
  * This season has been about negative space/holes/empty spaces/absence in so many ways. And it almost ALWAYS has to do with Dean and Cas.
  * Dean once again can’t say Cas’ name at the end: he mentions John dying, the loss of May, and then cuts off AGAIN when the next logical person to mention would be Cas.
  * Again, Sam and Dean ALMOST have this conversation but there’s something left unsaid. Dean asks why Sam’s being so nice and Sam’s like, “You know why.” The audience (and Dean) is expected to fill in the blank with something that Sam doesn’t feel comfortable verbalizing/something even Dean isn’t ready to admit in so many words.
  * “Bacon, booze, and bullets.” Notice that out of Sam’s offerings – food, drink, work, and women – Dean leaves out one. Granted, he ends up with a pretty pink bra to match the panties, but it’s pretty clear that this is Dean overcompensating.
    * Also, Clam Diver. Hahaha that’s the best/worst.
  * Billie’s offer to Dean: you know he wanted Cas back. Heck, fries!angel said that in 13x01. We know that’s what Dean would have asked for if he thought he could have.
  * “I need a win.” WHERE HAVE WE HEARD THAT BEFORE??
  * The mom grieving her son faded DIRECTLY into Dean’s face in the car, still clearly grieving for someone he loves. And then he gets a phone call…
  * THE FUCKING PHONE CALL AND REUNION SCENE. 
  * SERIOUSLY.
  * TALK ABOUT NEGATIVE SPACE CARRYING THE STORY.
  * Sam’s asleep, clearly indicating that this isn’t about Sam and Cas or TFW. This is about Dean and Cas.
  * We all expected a “Hello, Dean.” But no. We don’t hear the phone call at ALL. But we  _know_  that’s probably what he said.
  * The giant glowy cross when they drive up to meet Cas. Oh hey there symbolism! 
  * And then we don’t even hear them speak to each other when they see each other because we don’t  _need_  to in order to know that this is hugely significant. 
  * AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW IT WAS FILMED LIKE A FUCKING ROMANTIC DRAMA.
  * JFC. 
  * SERIOUSLY.
  * Sam gets out of the car. And then he’s never seen again on camera. Nope, it’s just Dean and Cas, both of them looking each other. (NOT AT SAM. HE MIGHT AS WELL BE IN FUCKING CANADA DOING MOOSE THINGS FOR THIS WHOLE SCENE AS FAR AS THEY’RE CONCERNED.)
  * AND THE WAY THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER? MY DUDES I’VE NOPED OUT OF FICS THAT WERE LESS SAPPY THAN THAT FOR BEING TOO FLUFFY TO BE BELIEVABLE.
  * jfc
  * the end



[spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [13x05](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/13x05) [destiel](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/destiel) [billie the reaper](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/billie-the-reaper) [dean winchester](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/dean-winchester)[spn season 13 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-13-reviews)


	50. 13x06: Giddy Up

Seriously, “giddy” is the only way to describe Dean in half of this episode, lol.

Immediate thoughts because it’s been that kind of a week and I’m gonna let everyone else carry the load on the deep thinkin’ ‘round these here parts:

  * Jensen’s face: A+, sir, as always during the reunion hug. Also, I love how clear it is that Dean’s just flat out relieved and Sam’s already thinking and analyzing this.
  * Jack and Cas: awww
    * But also kind of awkward? Idk I prefer these kinds of found families to go through a much longer process of acceptance. There’s a reason why Dean and Claire is one of my favorite relationships on the show. I mean, I  _guess_  Jack and Cas already had a history of sorts, but…yeah. Anyway. That’s probably just a me complaint.
  * I love that Dean isn’t  _just_  into westerns/cowboys as an idea, or the Hollywood construct (which he does love, too, obviously) but actually knows the history and who these guys were. 
  * Sam kind of hedging with Dean when they’re putting their stuff away – AGAIN we’re RIGHT on the edge of a big conversation. Sure, Dean says that getting Cas back is a pretty big win, but that’s not textual confirmation that their relationship is something MORE. But seriously, Sam’s tone when he starts that conversation??? That is LITERALLY the same tone you use when you’re trying to wheedle info out of your buddy (or tease them) about their crush.
  * I literally can’t watch Dean and Cas get out of the car in their western outfits because I died from secondhand embarrassment.  Gahhhhh lol.
    * Also, it’s almost too bad Garth is too nice to make fun of Dean because if they ever run into him again, Dean’s got NO right to scoff at Garth’s silly outfits instead of just FBI suits.
  * Dean made Cas watch  _Tombstone_. 
    * Point of order: there is no couch/living room in the Bunker  ~~even though there totally should be~~. Soooo where did they watch this movie, hmmmmmmm?
  * Jack is an adorable smol bean who must be protected at all costs. I love him being a junior hunter with Uncle Sammy training him.
  * Jack being all excited to wake up the guys and get going on the case yesss.
  * “He’s an angry sleeper. Like a bear.” Imma just leave that here…
  * They shot Baby! :(
    * I loved the shootout, though. It was so well done.
  * Dean almost noping out of going down the tunnel….same, dude. (But I do love the little bit of physical comedy we get from him. What a dork.)
    * And then him quoting  _Die Hard_  in the tunnel hahaha.
  * Jack being upset over the guard and Cas and Sam trying to help but not really helping… eek. And I don’t mean this in a complaining way. Just oh no, this isn’t really what Jack needs to hear, Cas.
    * I do find it interesting that Sam and Cas try to “coddle” him in a sense, but Dean straight up tells him the truth, even if it hurts. I also really like that Dean came around and said that he doesn’t think Jack’s a monster anymore. HOWEVER, everyone’s rationale is that he can’t be a monster because they’ve done the same. That…doesn’t really disprove Jack’s point. Dean saying, “then we’re all monsters” doesn’t fix anything, in the past or moving forward. All it does is just acknowledge that what Jack did is wrong.
    * I have no idea how else to deal with that, though, soooo again, I’m not complaining about it, just pointing it out. What TFW said to him was very natural (well, SPN natural… there’s a bad pun in there somewhere).
  * Dean has done a complete 180: not only is he giddy, but he’s back to his old bravado: sassing the bad guy, not telling the sheriff the truth/covering up the case…. What prompted this change, hmmm??



As always, I feel like I missed stuff but *shrug*. G’night, y’all.

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	51. 13x07 Days of Our WTF

Apparently not-Dean of the French Mistake world isn’t the only one working in a soap opera…

Oh lordy. As I just said to [@thayerkerbasy](https://tmblr.co/mnmruVrY3w7bx5YX5qutl4g), it’s a good thing Juliet the Hellhound didn’t watch this episode because she can’t roll her eyes and she would be very jealous of everyone who can. ([Seriously, there are few things](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fseries%2F576391&t=NTg0MjFjMWM3MzJiNmNlOGNlODU3NThlZWY0ZDBhNzRjNDU5MWQ1YSxQOFg1bzNhTw%3D%3D&b=t%3AEfhZx9mrbYIhxW5MNPXDUQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fgrey2510.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F167820506038%2F13x07-days-of-our-wtf&m=1) [that bother her more.](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fseries%2F801564&t=MjI0ZGQyOTNlYTk5ZTgyMTZjOTFiYmQyNGFkYTk3Y2JlMzRjNzAwZCxQOFg1bzNhTw%3D%3D&b=t%3AEfhZx9mrbYIhxW5MNPXDUQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fgrey2510.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F167820506038%2F13x07-days-of-our-wtf&m=1))

(Also, if anyone needs a pick me up after this episode, those links will take you to Juliet fics. You didn’t know you needed that delightful murder beast in your life, but you do. You’re welcome.)

ANYWAY.

Um.

Episode review?

I gave up on Buckleming bingo. It was too much too keep track of. I think I won  ~~lost~~?

I’ll try to be not super wanky here.

## GOOD THINGS:

  * I will say this about the episode: I was amused by it, if nothing else. Unlike some other BL episodes that had me angry or upset, this was just a big ol’ wait WHAT oh GAWD WTF bahaha.
  * David Haydn-Jones is a wonderful human being and I’m glad that he’s sticking around even though the whole Ketch thing is a WTF (but less of a WTF than his not-as-evil-secret-twin). Personally, I was rooting for DHJ to come back as a cuddly shapeshifter with a Canadian accent who is pissed at Ketch for all the BMoL shit from last year.
    * Also because more shapeshifters means that the Eileen is not dead theory because shapeshifter is one step closer to true. *sigh*
  * Speaking of shapeshifters and Ketch… I absolutely do love that this ties in thematically with what Dean said, that he’s tired of dealing with things/people who look like other things/people. Careful what you wish for…instead of quasi-evil twin, you got the real deal with Ketch.
  * Richard Speight, a solemn salute of respect to you, sir, for making that less painful. 
  * Cas’ cover on the phone to Dean was to make it sound like he was talking to a date/hookup/whathaveyou.  ~~And Lucifer was like um you suck at lying we all know you wanna see your bf.~~
  * Actually, all of Dean and Cas’ scenes were great. I know people have talked about the scene that was in the preview already, but I am SO pumped that Dean is FINALLY separating himself from Sam when it comes to Cas. There was no “me and Sam’ll go with you” or “you can introduce us”. It was 12x10 2.0, complete with Dean posturing and doing the whole protective thing. And his “don’t do anything stupid” line? Hmm where have we heard that again?
  * But yeah, and then Dean calling Cas all the damn time so they can TALK about what’s going on while Cas is off on his mission. Ok, so the last one was actually Asmodeus but the intent was there. (And ten bucks says Dean’ll be like, something was wrong. He sounded off.)
  * Lucifer is powerless. Yay! But Cas, just stab him and be done with it. PLEASE. You don’t need him around to fight AU!Michael. Go get Jack and call it a day.
  * Rowena is totally not dead :)
  * The fight scenes continue to be awesome. Well done, new fight coordinator dude.
  * I actually didn’t hate Lucifer in this episode, so yay? I was actually kind of amused by his conversations with Cas. (Maybe it was just Cas’ sass back to him. Yeah I’m gonna go with that.)
    * BUT THIS IS NOT GOOD. I absofuckinglutely do NOT want him to get a redemption arc. Fuck that shit.



## BAD THINGS:

[insert wank about everything else imma go have pie instead]

[spn season 13 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-13-reviews) [spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [13x07](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/13x07)

* * *

* * *

## REWATCH UPDATE:

Ok, so I just rewatched the episode and I gotta say it’s a LOT better the second time around, now that I can track all the threads properly and I know that they didn’t  _actually_  go full soap opera with Ketch (although his return is still a little side-eyey, but whatever). I think last night I just got distracted and overloaded on some of the usual BL nonsense.

I’m still ready for the Lucifer storyline to be  _done_  and evil Colonel Sanders is just laughable and Sam seems like he’s just hovering in the background these days, but that’s not a fault of just this episode or even BL.

Is it one of the better episodes of this season? No, but then again, that bar is pretty damn high. Was it watchable and entertaining? Yeah, definitely. Are there things that I wish were different or I think would have been handled better in the hands of another writer? Sure. But, overall, not bad.


	52. 13x08: The Second Demon Bones Job

Because obviously the First Demon Bones Job was the jaunt to Scotland.

[Crowley "You miss me?" gif]

Yes, yes we do. 

~~(And no I totally didn’t do a title based off of Jim Sterling episodes that would be silly.)~~

But for reals, Crowley was all over this episode  _in absentia_. If you can’t have real Crowley, storebrand is NOT fine. Thanks for playing, Bart. You tried. 

(I didn’t dislike Bart. Just saying that you can’t replace Crowley.)

Also @thayerkerbasy: Dean saying after Crowley, he swore off demons… 

[Dean winking gif]

Oh we are so totally writing Project New Years ASAP.

##  **ANYWAY.**

  * Dean didn’t freak out about Cas not sounding like Cas?? Or the fact that Cas and Sam are the ones in contact?? HOW ARE THESE BOTH NOT HUGE RED FLAGS.
    * C’mon, Dean. This is like your whole shtick. Figure it out. 
  * This episode was fun all around. Jensen Ackles and the physical comedy – love it. I also love how this was a callback to him not wanting to down the ghoul hole, too.
    * So is Dean afraid of spiders, too? Adorbs.
    * And possibly needles? (Although to be fair, I would have been super freaked out/expecting way worse than a needle, too – I probably would have been relieved it was just a needle and I REALLY REALLY hate needles.)
  * I don’t get why Sam didn’t use his potato shoes to stomp out the flames at the end, but I guess ~*plot reasons*~.
  * So is Smash our new Charlie?
  * Sam’s go-to film reference is  _Entrapment_  because Catherine Zeta-Jones. Dean’s go-to film reference is  _Indiana Jones_ because ??
    * Also, Meredith Glynn obviously loves Indy – there were so many references in 12x05, too. I’m ok with that. :)
  * Speaking of Indy… I wish Dean had been the one to figure out how to get to the safe. The solution was very Dean, not because Dean isn’t smart enough to actually work out the puzzle/traps, but because what Sam came up with was very  _practical_  (and hilarious). It was very much this:



[Indiana Jones shoots the guy with a sword gif]

  * Which is a total Dean-move. Again, it’s not that Dean  _couldn’t_  figure out the puzzle, it’s just that Dean’s generally more the type to say why bother when there’s a quicker, easier solution? Why untangle the Gordian knot when you can just cut it open? Sam’s more the type to want to sit there and figure it out because he enjoys that stuff. He’s more cerebral. 
  * On the other hand, giving this moment to Sam shows that the brothers don’t fit into the roles everyone expects of them. So I guess that’s good. It might have been more effective if we hadn’t had, earlier in the episode, someone call Sam the smart one – implying that Dean isn’t smart. Dean’s particular brand of intelligence doesn’t really get to shine here, unfortunately.
  * …moving on
  * Dean sounds like himself again, and he’s slipped back into the role of taking care of Sam/bolstering his brother. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled that Dean’s not spiraling in grief anymore, but that doesn’t mean I want  _Sam_  to be the one spiraling now or Dean to have to assume that mantle again. Can’t we just let them be happy??? 
    * Of course not. They must sufffffferrrrrrr.
  * Overall, this wasn’t my favoritest episode, but I did absolutely enjoy it!! I have a feeling if I watch it a second time, I’ll pick up on more stuff – Glynn’s episodes tend to be like that for me. 



[spn season 13 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-13-reviews) [spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [13x08](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/13x08)


	53. 13x09: Nightmare on Monster Street

Fun fact: episodes of SPN are 10000x better when you don’t have a migraine. (Hence why I’m doing my review now, instead of on Thursday – I pretty much went blergggggh to Thayer in chat after the episode and went to bed.)

[Dean "Screw consciousness that's what I say" gif]

But, I just rewatched the episode so I’m good to go for a review. Allons-y!

[Dean thumbs up while riding Larry gif]

I know I’m not the first to say this, but Kaia’s pretty awesome. I’m really interested in seeing what she brings to the table in Wayward Sisters (beyond the dreamwalking). I also love how the show lays out some pretty uncomfortable truths (when she says she’s not white so no one will come look for her) – obviously, I don’t  _like_  that it is a truth because I’m not a terrible, racist human being, but I do like that the show is putting these social issues into the spotlight and saying  _this is what’s happening and it’s not ok_. 

    * That being said, as a white person who grew up in a pretty white bubble, I don’t know if the show handled Native American cultures or traditions appropriately in this episode. I hope they did, but then again, SPN has pretty much taken every culture and belief system out there and just kinda done its own thing with it, so…
  * Speaking of things that aren’t ok… Dean. So, Dean’s a mess. He’s desperate. We see this even before we get to Jack: he calls Patience after pretty much telling her the same thing her dad did.
    * And speaking of her dad… I thought his “you don’t come back” was interesting. On the one hand (which might be the way Patience interprets it), it could be taken as “I’m kicking you out/you’re not welcome here if you get involved in supernatural stuff” (and I dunno if Patience is queer, but her “this is who I am” speech was straight out of a coming out and getting kicked out of the house trope kit). On the other hand, her dad’s line might be more a statement of fact and worry: “if you get involved, you won’t be able to get out of the life/you will change as a person and won’t be able to come back the way you were”.
  * Back to Dean: let me be really clear about something: Dean threatening and yelling at Kaia  _was not ok._  I am not excusing his behavior whatsoever. Now, that being said, what happened there was incredibly interesting (in an academic way).
    * When Dean and Sam first find Jack, Jack is shocked that Kaia hit him. Dean replies, “Good” – as in,  _yeah, dude, you were being a creep (and you’re dangerous) and she had every right to hit you and run away._  
    * But then later, Dean hulks out and is downright terrifying when it comes to her. He’s cold and menacing – this is not the Dean we’ve come to know and love. 
      * Full disclosure: one of my favorite relationships on the show is between Dean and Claire. So, seeing Dean act like this with Kaia (even though they don’t know each other/have no history together) really bothered me. But it’s  _supposed_  to bother us.
    * Pause: I’m not saying this OOC. Stick with me.
    * So what happened in the meantime? Oh yeah, Dean got mojo’d with a vision of Mary by Jack. Now, to me, there are two readings of this (and from what I’ve seen from other peeps, this is pretty much the general consensus):
      * Jack’s power messed with Dean’s head. I hesitate to say “brainwashed” because that implies that Jack is actively trying to get Dean to think a certain way/is controlling him, and I don’t think that’s the case. But if Jack’s mojo has altered Dean’s mindset in some way, that could explain his 180 and nearly MoC levels of scariness. It would also pair with Cas’ switch in s12 from “we need to kill the nephilim before it’s born or remove its power” to “oh man imma be the best dad EVER because my son will bring PARADISE”.
        * Yes, I know there’s also multiple interpretations of Cas’ actions in s12 and much discussion about whether or not Cas was 100% acting on his own free will/without outside influence. 
        * (Again, there’s a distinction between brainwashing and getting mojo’d here. It’s like being drunk: no one is forcing you to streak naked around the house, but the booze makes you think it’s the best idea you’ve ever had.)
        * (Not that I’ve ever done that… *shifty eyes*)
      * The other reading is that Dean was having some sort of PTSD/flashback/panic attack moment, that the image of Mary locked up and tortured triggered him in a way that it didn’t trigger Sam. Considering just last episode we had a flashback of Dean’s Hell trauma, this could be a valid reading of the scene. (Not that Sam doesn’t have his own trauma, but for whatever reason, Sam has always been able to come to terms with his experiences in Hell better than Dean.) The way that scene was shot and framed was fascinating and horrifying: Jack and Sam kind of fade to the background while Dean turns away from them, eyes unfocused. Dean is entirely alone in this experience, whereas Sam continues on much as he did before, just with a new understanding of the situation.
      * [Dean space out/freak out gif]


      * Whatever happened to Dean,  _he is not ok._
      * When Dean says they need to get Mary back and they’ll do whatever it takes, even Sam looks a little surprised at Dean’s vehemence, and not just because Dean had been on the “Mom is dead” bandwagon before this. Sam wasn’t reacting to Dean’s change of heart (Dean had facts now, so it’s not like Dean’s new motto was unfounded), he was reacting to Dean’s tone.
  * Ok, moving on… Cas, or lack there of.
    * Still surprised Dean hasn’t mentioned that it’s weird that Sam’s the one keeping in touch with Cas.
    * Also, it’s interesting that neither of them texted Cas and was like oh hey we got a lead on Jack.
      * Now, there’s the Schroedinger’s argument that just because we didn’t see it, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen (should we call this the mixtape argument?).
      * But, if they did – which would have been logical, seeing as Cas’  _raison d’etre_  as far as they know is finding Jack – then Asmodeus would have shown up to Sioux Falls. Narratively, that’s not that they wanted for this episode, so it makes sense that they didn’t do it.
      * But, it also makes me wonder just how much info they (Sam) is actually sharing with Cas and why…
  * JODY! I love you and I love that the show has made it a point to include you, even if it’s just a “hey, I called Jody and asked her to put out an APB”. This is how you set up a spin-off, people. Not that we didn’t already love this character, but showing how vital she is and how she’s woven into this world is the perfect way to get us even more invested and see how there are stories to tell in Sioux Falls.
  * The angels. Damn, the angels knocking down the wards was badass. I’m willing to forget the shitty car gang they got going on there. It was cool to see them acting in sync like this and using their powers. They were very militaristic and wholly inhuman, whereas lately, we’ve seen them act more like thugs: a leader with a few cronies show up for a brawl (and maybe some smiting). I want more of this because angels  _should_  be terrifying.
  * And last but not least, MONSTER WORLD!!
    * This is what I expected Purgatory to be. Dean mentioned the gorilla-wolves, and that last scene of s7 gave us a sense that Purgatory was very alien and monstrous, but s8 Purgatory was more “human” in its monsters and setting. 
    * If Dean’s been having flashbacks of Hell, I’m worried about what this world will do to him.
    * I think I’m on Team Giant Chicken. I’m just saying that now, I’m hitching my wagon to that  ~~horse~~ chicken and riding off into the sunset. Pfft dragons or dinosaurs…



Anyway, onto hellatus! This should be an interesting one… Fandom, make me and my crack-loving heart proud.

(oh and when I say crack, I’m not pulling a Jack “I like nougat and cocaine” Kline moment here. :P )

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	54. 13x10: Welcome to the Family

YOU GUYS THIS WAS AWESOME.

I KNOW YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT.

BUT LET ME HAVE MY SHOUTYCAPS FOR A MOMENT LONGER.

*ahem* Thank you. We shall now proceed with the review in a more dignified manner.

## OMG EVEN THE INTRO WAS AWESOME.

dammit.

Ok, so Halestorm’s “I Am the Fire” was a fucking fantastic choice. *makes mental note to get more of their music* … I think I only have one album and that’s a disgrace because they’re awesome. And I love that if still fit with the general vibe of SPN but was even more fitting as intro music for some badass ladies.

## CLAIRE IS SUCH A BADASS AND I LOVE HER

  * I love her kicking ass with the werewolves. And for someone who claims to never have a plan, she obviously did with the delivery stunt. (Also I’m still dying laughing at @welkinalauda‘s [tags about that](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/post/169882273528/welkinalauda-ps-wtf-is-jody-talking-about).) 
  * That being said, she really should have a partner. Time and time again we see that a lot of hunters pair up, even if only temporarily (and you get the sense the more of the hunting world that we see that John’s style wasn’t exactly normal, even by hunter standards). Jody and Donna call in each other and the Winchesters for backup and that’s what Claire needs to really learn to do: accept help and recognize that doing so isn’t admission of incompetence. It’s a sign of maturity, not doing things that are reckless and will probably get you killed on your own. She’s getting there, but I totally get that she needed to fly solo and figure herself out.
  * Claire with a fucking flamethrower. That is all.
  * DREAMHUNTER. Yes please. And Bobo better not being fucking around with us with his pic that says KAIA LIVES.
  * But seriously. We haven’t seen Claire this relaxed and open with someone EVER. Sure, she and Alex get along better now, but it’s an entirely different dynamic and everything about those two screams siblings. With Kaia? The comparing scars scene (side note: didn’t Dean and Gunnar Lawless do that?? whatever could that mean…) was adorable, and then Claire has one of her most emotionally mature moments ever with Kaia when she says maybe she doesn’t want to go out in a blaze of glory. AND THEN KAIA SAYS SHE’LL GO WITH CLAIRE AND THEN THERE’S THE HAND HOLDING AND DEAN DRAGGING CLAIRE AWAY AND HOW MANY FUCKING PARALLELS DOES DESTIEL NEED BEFORE IT’S CANON JFC.
  * Ignoring Destiel, though Dreamhunter is amazing in its own right and KAIA BETTER BE ALIVE.



## ALEX HAS COME SO FAR AND I LOVE HER

  * I love that Alex is so much more comfortable in her skin these days and that the events of 11x12 didn’t set her back. 
  * I also really like her mentoring Patience and telling her that it’s ok not to be a fighter; as long as you contribute in your own way, that’s important. And she kind of says the same to Claire: some times the way you can help is just by being there for someone or doing the dishes or whatever. 
    * Petition for Alex to have a nice long chat with Cas. Someone desperately needs to tell him that you don’t need to be “useful” to be needed or valid.
  * Can we get more supernaturally aware people in civilian jobs? Medical care, therapy, social work, law enforcement…
  * Alex has been a Sam mirror the last few times and I think it’s fantastic that her decision  _not_  to be a hunter is validated, unlike how Sam’s decision to go to Stanford and leave the life (or any of his other attempts to be normal) have always made him an outcast. Claire tries to get her digs in at Alex about this, but the show always makes it clear that Claire is in the wrong/being petty. They’re  _both_  valid in their decisions.



## PATIENCE KILLED A MONSTER AND I LOVE HER

  * I think it’s super interesting how Claire and Patience actually have – to a degree – the most similar upbringing and they have the most friction. Claire, until age 12, had a completely normal middle-class life. Patience had the same up until recently, and she even might have that to go back to, if she chooses/if her dad takes her in. But, that is a crucial difference: Claire completely lost that safety net – and a much younger age – and so it’s entirely understandable that Claire would resent Patience or be dismissive, especially when Patience hasn’t “caught up” on the whole supernatural/hunter thing.
  * Also there’s the vision thing – that obviously impacts their initial meeting.
  * I love that Patience says how out of her depth she is because it’s such a realistic response. Not everyone just hops on the kill monsters train without a backwards glance. 
  * That being said, the fact that she doesn’t back down and trusts Donna and the others to help her out is great. She might not be a fighter but she’s got grit and good for her.



## KAIA BETTER NOT BE DEAD BECAUSE I LOVE HER

  * SERIOUSLY. DO NOT MAKE ME ADD HER TO MY  _[‘GO WHERE THE STORY TAKES US’ MY ASS](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/%27go-where-the-story-takes-us%27-my-ass)_  TAG BECAUSE CHARLIE AND EILEEN HAVE ALREADY FILLED IT UP AND I’M STILL BITTER ABOUT THEM.
  * Yes, yes, Bobo’s tweet. But show me the money.
  * I was super pumped about the reveal at the end just because I want to know more!!!!!!!! I wonder if any of the theories floating around about her connection to our Kaia will pan out.



## I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT JODY MILLS AND I LOVE HER

  * Like any of you were surprised by this.
  * Dude, her “I can’t lose another child” bit fucked me up hardcore. Mama Bear Jody is heartbreaking and amazing. 
  * Or her reassurance for Sam and Dean and then you see her break a little once they leave – sure, Sioux Falls might be smaller than saving the world, but Jody has a lot on her plate just in her house. 
    * Can we get a “Weekend at Jody’s” episode on WS? And then the girls take her out for dinner or to get massages or something fun.
  * Watching Jody and Donna take charge – hell yeah! They bring out such good qualities in each other.



## DONNA IS A DARN RAY OF SUNSHINE AND I LOVE HER

  * “I’m from Minnesota”, “You, too, Rainbow Brite”, “Okie dokie, here ya go” bahaha these lines are just great. She just makes me smile.
  * So in 12x22, we know that Alex goes to Donna’s and it’s implied that they know each other already. It’s never mentioned before that Claire and Donna have met, and yet, their “reunion” seems completely natural to us viewers. I love the implication that Jody and Donna stay in touch and that Donna is family to the girls.
  * Donna mentoring Patience <3 I think Patience needs guidance and reassurance from someone who hasn’t been hardened by the job and hunting. Not that Donna’s a pushover, but she’s never let any of this bring her down, which is its own (extremely impressive) strength.



## OK NOW I’ll TALK ABOUT SAM AND DEAN BECAUSE I LOVE THEM TOO

  * I love that we see Dean “Ew germs” Winchester scraping crap off of his boots in the same episode we see Dean “Sure, I’ll eat monster lizard” Winchester. He’s such a delightful mess of contradictions.
  * Oh c’mon, Sam. There were plenty of greens around. Sure you could’ve made a salad.
  * One teensy complaint: Claire calling Sam and Dean “boys” was just weird to me. “Guys” would have been one thing, but…like Dean’s practically her dad and Sam’s practically her uncle…
  * While we’re on the subject, Dean saying that  **he**  tried to talk to her (not he and Sam) – gahhhhh. I love his and Claire’s dynamic and losing that is one of my biggest “fears” with WS spinning off (the other being we only have Mary and Rowena left for recurring female characters). I hope Dean shows up on WS for more of the two of them. 
    * Also: correct use of pronouns! “I” not “we”! Yay Dean :)



So, in conclusion

GIVE ME MORE WAYWARD SISTERS

WAYWARD AF!

[Donna hugging Claire and Alex gif]

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	55. 13x11: You’re a Damn Hero, Donna

Did I like this episode? You betcha I did!

Now I’m not going to spend too long talking about Doug and Donna because I did so [ **here**](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/post/170135054003/yeah-dougs-not-a-hunter-hes-adorable-and-a). I will say that I really hope that this isn’t the end of Donna and Doug’s story, not only because I like Doug and because Donna deserves to be happy goshdarnit, but I also don’t want that to be her “reason” for being on WS, should the show get picked up. I would LOVE for her to bring Doug (or someone else in); it shouldn’t be a prerequisite that you have to lose everyone first to join the squad. Also, I feel like Doug would fit in really well with the characters we’ve already established there. 

Anywho.

Some more thoughts on the episode…

  * The whole cold open was genuinely terrifying. Like, I dunno if I would have even walked into that truck stop. And I think that’s one thing that SPN has always done well, and very consistently: show that normal humans can be the worst of all. Sure, it was a vampire who ended up selling out Wendy, but that preacher guy was a grade-A creep (and his whole “I never hurt anybody” schtick is a load of crap – just because you don’t physically  _wound_  someone or kill them doesn’t mean you didn’t hurt them) and Mr. Window Washer was just an all around nope (even if he didn’t do anything in this episode…he didn’t seem all that bothered by whatever else passes for normal at that truck stop). And then of course, our actual bad guy mastermind was just a regular human.
  * Donna told Doug that 13x10 was a family reunion and a “wild time”. Hoo boy lol.
  * Donna shot our vampire guy in the knee. Such a great Indiana Jones moment, just as Dean took out his machete. There’s a reason why I love Donna and Dean hanging out.
    * Speaking off, their little silent conversation when Doug smacked vampire dude and said that’s how they do it in the FBI was great. I just adored Donna’s look of  _seriously, Dean??_  
  * Donna was also such a terrifying badass when she took the vampire down with her whole,  _oh I’m gonna kill you, just a matter of fast or slow._ You go, girl.
    * And she had no problem taking charge of the situation with Doug, ordering Dean around, even if Dean is the “expert” in the situation. What I love about that is:
      * It shows just competent Donna is as a leader and at what she does (like the whole interrogation scene, too).
      * It shows that Dean is a good team player when he’s working with someone he respects – no ego, just get the job done. (We get this with Sam during the interrogation scene, when he wholeheartedly agrees that Donna is really good at what she does.)
  * Even though I figured Clegg was our baddie pretty early on, I would have actually been interested if we had the FBI as a “threat” again. Sure, we saw just how poorly that worked out last season, but it would be an interesting dynamic to work with, especially now that they have some law enforcement officers on our side.
  * Wendy’s Love is Love shirt: A+
  * Sam and Dean: I know this has been meta’d to death already, but I’d be remiss not to mention it. We’ve swung in the complete other direction with the brothers, and it’s pretty clear that the reason Dean isn’t where Sam is now is because he already got his win: Cas. 
    * Sam is a master of suppression, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel things. Sam has always been fascinating in this respect because he plays the stable part pretty well 90% of the time, and he comes across as the brother more in touch with feelings, but he’s more in touch with  _other_  people’s feelings. He almost  _never_  wants to address his own, possibly because he feels that he’s smart enough to know what’s going on with himself that he can just handle it on his own. 
    * He always seems to assume that Dean  _doesn’t_  know what Dean is feeling, but Dean’s pretty self-aware; he’s just more external in his expressions, which prompts Sam saying, “hey, let’s talk”, which then prompts Dean saying, “nope” and then Sam assumes his brother’s being immature or whatever, but that’s not  _really_  the case. Sam, however, just suppresses everything, and so it takes a LOT for there to be anything on the surface for Dean to poke and prod at. 
    * And even when stuff isn’t on the surface, that doesn’t mean Dean’s unaware that his brother is suffering, just that Dean probably looks at it as,  _until Sam’s issues rear their head, I’m going to assume he’s dealing with things in his own way._
    * Sam’s little speech at the end… there was one name that was GLARINGLY missing from his list of losses: Eileen. This is the guy who in s11 was all aboard the “maybe there’s someone to share this life with” train, and then he met Eileen a few weeks later, and then they clearly had a connection, and then he lost her. And now he’s suddenly on the “we’re gonna die alone and it’s gonna be bad, don’t drag anyone in” train. He mentions Kaia and Mary, which makes sense because they’re the most immediate losses, but if you don’t think that Eileen’s death fucked him up…
  * Speaking of Sam’s little speech at the end… his OTHER little speech to Donna. I find it interesting that it was almost the exact same kind of speech that Dean gave Patience and which Jody gave him the ol’ side eye for. And while we can talk more about how Dean and Sam have switched places, I’d rather talk about how this links Donna and Patience together even more. We see them bond a little in 13x10, and I really hope that this flourishes even more in WS. I think Patience really needs a mentor from someone who is coming to the supernatural world from a more similar place. True, they have both had traumas and hardships that should not be overlooked, but their calling to this life is different than Jody’s or Claire’s or Alex’s.
  * Doug’s transformation into a vampire: I find it super interesting that of all the monsters they come across that Doug turns into (for a couple hours), it’s a vampire, especially considering Jody introduces Donna in 13x10 as someone who has killed a lot of vampires. And then here, this guy she loves turns in to the thing she hunts (for a couple hours). That’s gotta mess with you.
  * I hope that Donna never loses her Donnaness, that she never gets broken down by all the bad in the world. What I love about her is that she’s able to see and recognize what’s bad, and she’ll get upset or worried or angry in the moment, but she never gives up hope that everything will be ok in the end. That’s such a wonderful strength.
  * Minor complaint: would have liked more interaction between Donna and Wendy, especially at the end. I know they only have so much time to spend an episode, but it would have been nice to have a little more of that aunt/niece relationship beyond what Donna had said earlier in the ep.



And to conclude (even if this is an old gif):

[Donna offering a lollipop and smiling gif]

Donna is a ray of sunshine and we all need more Donnas in our lives.

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	56. 13x12: What’s By is By

Yockey & Tapping <3

[Rowena's boot by the hexbag gif]

So there were a lot of things I loved about this episode, but there were also a couple things that I didn’t, but one of those isn’t necessarily the episode’s fault. I’m going to talk about those first just to get them out of the way:

  * The Plum sisters. I just really didn’t like them, and I don’t mean that as in “they’re the bad guys.” I felt their acting was just so…forced? (And I don’t mean when they were talking to their moronic marks.) I dunno. There was something off. Like when they were talking about bringing their mom back it was like Soap Opera Exposition Time and I was just kinda cringing during that whole little scene.
  * This isn’t really the fault of the episode, but Cas and Lucifer’s vacation to Fall River (which is where Joe Kennedy made the Democratic response to the SOTU this week, fun fact) just seems so pointless. Asmodeus continues to not be a thing, we don’t even get Sam and Dean all that worried about it… (and yes I’m aware that there is a lot of discussion on whether that’s a good thing or not/whether it’s OOC or not for Dean… whatever. All I’m saying is that for right now, it’s not doing it for me.)



Ok, so onto the good stuff!

What’s By is By… There’s a reason I chose that as my title.

  * [The obvious reason is the scene with Dean, our Poor Sheltered Boy.](http://angvlicmish.tumblr.com/post/170403197566/whats-bi-is-bi) Except, we all know that Dean is not as sheltered as he might want everyone to think. His response to Rowena that there is no fifth base is so very calculated, like,  _Are you saying this to get me to reveal something?_ and, to himself,  _Be careful, Sam is here. Stay neutral._  This is Dean fucking Winchester, the master of goof and sarcastic remarks. If he  _really_  didn’t know (or care) about fifth base, he would have make a joke about it and then he would have been comically confused when she called him a sheltered boy, like,  _but what could fifth base possible be????_  (or possibly “offended”, if we’re going with Dean Is Smooth AF and Wants Everyone To Know How Much He Knows in Bed and How Dare You Suggest He’s Sheltered). And the way he looks at Sam like uhhhhhhhhhhh….and Sam’s like,  _c’mon, focus, get with the program, bigger fish to fry._ Yeah, Rowena’s remark hit Dean a little too close to home. What’s bi is bi.
  * What’s By is NOT By… Rowena lies. It’s what she does. She does it so often and effectively that it almost becomes The Boy Who Cried Wolf. No one ever knows what she actually wants or what her true motivations are, which comes in handy sometimes when she’s able to double or triple cross people. It doesn’t come in handy when she’s actually traumatized and can’t deal with what Lucifer happened to her. Sure, she does use that to her advantage to get the page from the book and become more powerful (and I’m  _really_  curious to see how that all pans out!!!), but none of that changes the fact that Rowena is really, truly, hurting. Sam tries to connect with her, and he even lets her have the page of the book, but neither of the boys trust her, least of all Dean. What’s sad is that we’re in a reverse Crowley situation now: Dean and Crowley needed each other in their strange way, but Sam’s trust of Crowley came as far too little too late (although it did make me happy to hear Sam acknowledge that Crowley had changed and had done something good/worthy of pride) – this hurt Dean & Crowley’s friendship because they weren’t “allowed” to be friends, and that probably contributed to some of Crowley’s character stagnation and how long it took for him to truly want to be on Team Free Will. Same with Rowena. Now, that being said, Sam was right to be wary of Crowley and Dean is right to be wary of Rowena, but the respective brothers aren’t dumb about their frenemies. Dean never forgot who/what Crowley was (and that was part of their connection/why they needed each other), and Sam says he’ll hunt down Rowena himself if she breaks bad. My point is, Sam and Rowena need each other. They’ve experienced something no one else has* and I think they could both be good for each other when it all gets to be too much. Do I think they’ll be besties going shopping and going out for tea? No, only in fanfic**, but I think Sam and Rowena could be an important relationship*** for both of them.
    * *I’m leaving Cas out of this because he is also an angel, even if a less powerful one, so Lucifer’s betrayal and torment of Cas in s11 is entirely different. Not that it’s not unimportant, but Sam and Rowena are humans dealing with the divine, and they were targeted for torture and abuse in a different way than Lucifer used Cas.
    * **Besides, we all know that Dean’s the brother you want to take shopping. Just ask Charlie. Don’t trust Sam and his potato shoes for fashion advice.
    * ***I mean this platonically, but I know there are plenty of Samwena? Samwitch? shippers out there. I feel like post-Ruby, that’s not going to happen on Sam’s end, but if it did, I think I’d again prefer their relationship like I preferred Drowley: the slightly antagonistic but mostly civil exes. So skip the actual relationship stuff, lol.
  * What’s By is NOT By… SAM’S HELL TRAUMA. Fucking FINALLY. We’ve seen hints of it for  _years_ , but Sam’s never really dealt with it. He finally acknowledges that he’s just pushed it down and soldiered on, and that he knows Dean would listen, but he doesn’t know how to talk about it, especially with someone who didn’t experience it. Dean’s Hell trauma was different, and Dean never had Alistair hallucinations or was expected to be BFFs while Alistair slept in his bedroom. And, Alistair was a demon. A fucking scary one, yes, but Lucifer is  _an archangel and the literal Devil._  Lucifer is orders of magnitude above Alistair. That isn’t to say Dean’s experience and trauma isn’t important or valid, but that it explains why Sam doesn’t even know where to start. And you can see he’s almost desperate to talk to Rowena about it, to finally have someone who  _gets it_. I hope that the witch sisters killing each other truly and finally signals the end of the toxic codependency of the brothers, where they can be honest with each other, even if that honesty is,  _I can’t talk to you about this. It’s not because I don’t trust you or love you, but because I need other people in my life._ AND THAT’S OK. I should fucking  _hope_  that my siblings talk to their significant others and friends and whoever else about stuff that they don’t talk about with me, and I am super close with my siblings. No one can be everything to someone else, and it’s not fair to either party when that happens. And Dean’s  _trying_  to be there for Sam, just like Sam was earlier for Dean, but I think they’re both finally realizing that that isn’t enough.
    * Also: I really hope that it’s Sam who kills Lucifer once and for all. But I loved Cas getting a good stab in, even if we knew it wouldn’t kill Luci.
  * What’s By is NOT By… Lucifer can’t let things go. I love that he called Cas “Cassandra” because on the surface, it sounds like just a petty insult, but it’s also a delightfully layered line, especially in their little conversation about truths. Cassandra was a Trojan princess who was basically cursed with prophecy…because no one would believe her. (Like the Trojan Horse, Agamemnon’s (and her own) death… yeah, Cassandra is the original I TOLD YOU SO, FUCKERS.)  Anyway, Cas is actually telling the truth to Lucifer, but Lucifer doesn’t listen, or he only listens enough to twist it to fit his own conception of the world, himself, and his son. He uses what Cas says to get angry, not to reflect and change. Lucifer says that  _Michael_  is the one who never stops when he’s made up his mind, and while that might be true, Lucifer is no different. His actions might change to suit his purpose, but his overall motivations and personality have not changed.  ~~And they better fucking not because fuck a redemption arc for Luci just kill the bastard and be done with it jfc.~~



Other thoughts and tidbits:

  * Lovestruck!Dean was a delight. What a fucking goober. I am really glad that didn’t last long though because I think the gag was best in small doses (or it would have turned dark or  ~~Becky~~ icky really quickly).
  * Sam and Dean’s convo: I was annoyed at first that Dean made the get beat up by a girl comment (because I forgot to trust in Yockey), but then Sam’s response pointing out that they get beat up by girls all the time and Dean’s shrug of acceptance was great. Dean is not a perfectly PC character, and it’s so in-character for him to still make those kinds of comments offhand. But what’s great is that the show and characters immediately counter that and call themselves out. Sure, it’d be great if no man ever thought that ever again, but that wouldn’t be true to the character(s) and their growth.
  * Brenda gets the award for best side character today. She’s totally popping the popcorn to watch the news tonight and if anyone asks her if she saw anything, she’s gonna say, “nope” and just treasure her memories of Dean’s ass as he walked away, off to finally show the Plum sisters what’s what.
  * SASSY CAS! I love that he has annoyed himself out The Empty and a cell this season. Like, who needs to fight when you can just let Cas shoot the shit for awhile?? On a more serious note, I do like that Cas knew  _exactly_  what he was doing. Cas is a smarty pants and he knows how to get under Lucifer’s skin and use it to his advantage. And, I think it’s important that Cas got himself out this situation. So going back to my second complaint at the top, that’s the one upside of this situation: Cas didn’t just sink into a pit of despair and seems to have some confidence back, even in the face of a bad situation.



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	57. 13x13 No Sympathy for the Devil

I’ve been running on empty this week…to the point where I literally stopped mid-lunch today, looked at my food, and wondered if eating/chewing the rest was worth the effort. I may have also voiced this out loud, prompting my colleagues to be amused/concerned.

So my thoughts on this episode aren’t going to be anything amazingly deep…

  * I think Anael is a cool character and I am so glad she’s not a love interest for Dean (if she had to be at all interested in anyone on TFW, even for a throwaway joke, I would have LOVED if she thought Cas was a hottie – because let’s face it, everyone does – just for the inevitable #prayforjensen/dean moment). Anywhooo the whole weirdly sexual thing with Lucifer I could do without, but the rest of her character is interesting, especially since she’s now the power behind the throne (literally, for the time being, too). She’s someone who has been ignored and disregarded forever and yet she’s always had her own thoughts on how things should be run. I’m curious to see if she’d actually be a good ruler or if she’s become too bitter to rule effectively. (Because I’m totally expecting her to boot Lucifer as soon as she can.)
  * Oh Sam. Someone let him kill Lucifer already. He’s just doing all he can to keep it together but it’s so clear that he’s not ok. He visibly flinched when Cas said Lucifer is back. :(
  * Not only is there something satisfying about watching Lucifer have to be human and beg and ask for help, but there’s something satisfying about the fact that it’s Mark P. who has to do that too.
  * I do hope that we’re not going for a redemption arc. Like the guy with the bad leg said, it’s his vibe (and all of the terrible awful things he’s done and continues to do): no one wants to help him out/accept him. PLEASE LET THIS BE WHAT HAPPENS. LET’S JUST KILL HIM AND BE DONE WITH IT.
  * Donatello: why is he worried about getting Jack and Mary back and not more concerned about the logical threat of Michael? He’s soulless… Oh wait. BL. Moving on.
    * I’m going to actually try to avoid any other BL commentary and criticism because it’s been done ad nauseum since the episode aired.
  * Cas knocking out Ketch with the flippy flippy angel boop (thank you, Mittens) was easily the best part of the episode.



[gif of Cas knocking out Ketch with the flippy flippy angel boop]

  * Dean’s apology to Cas: YES. I mean, we still had some pronoun shuffling, but the fact that Dean apologized separately to Cas shows that, once again, it’s Dean who has a stronger connection to Cas than Sam. Also, when Cas started talking about how he would do everything he could to protect Jack, the look on Dean’s face was so heartbreaking, because he’s lost Cas so many times and he knows that when Cas gets set on a mission, he doesn’t half-ass it, even if it means dying. One of these days, Dean’s afraid he’s not going to get Cas back – and this last time, he was convinced that was the case and he knows how much that fucked him up.
    * Totally cracky note: aww Dean and Cas date night: drag a guy back to the Bunker in the trunk of the Impala, interrogate him, shoot him, salt and burn him, and toss the ashes. Sounds adorbs.
  * GABRIEL.
    * So the Archangel Blade confirms that the blade Gabriel used, even when he faced down Lucifer wasn’t his real blade (if that was even Gabriel himself).
    * His clothes: did Asmodeus time travel to go get him?
    * This does explain where KFD got all his new tricks…which also makes me wonder how long he’s had Gabriel on ice. And it goes along with Anael/Lucifer and having an angel on tap.
    * So does this mean that Gabriel is weakened?
    * His lips: dude that was horrifying. Also, thank you [@thayerkerbasy](https://tmblr.co/mnmruVrY3w7bx5YX5qutl4g) for pointing out that this is [likely a reference to Loki, who had his lips sewn shut for tricking the gods during a bet](https://thayerkerbasy.tumblr.com/post/170670012309/lokis-wager). And ya know, Gabriel = Loki in this universe.
      * We don’t have enough information yet but I REALLY want to know how this all came about/what it all means.
    * Unpopular opinion: I don’t think this retcons anything we’ve seen (or, if done correctly, it won’t retcon anything) and I am super interested to see canon!Gabriel continue to be an utter bastard. 
      * Don’t get me wrong, I love whimsical candy-loving fanon!Gabriel sometimes in fic, but canon!Gabriel is  _fascinating_  and so much darker than that.



Until next time, kiddos.

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	58. 13x14: The Right Choice(s)

As always with Meredith Glynn’s episodes, I feel as though I get way more out of them the second time around – and I don’t mean that as a criticism; if anything it’s a testament to how good these writers (well, with two obvious exceptions) are at writing a layered story.

For instance, it might seem obvious, but I didn’t really  _think_  about this the first time I saw the episode, just because it was all new: in the cold open in Jack’s torture scene, they could have had Sam and Dean die in a myriad of ways, but they chose fire. And then throughout the episode, we hear again and again from Jack that he is looking up to Sam and Dean, like parents. Neither of them died on the ceiling in Jack’s torture dream, but, there’s still that same thread running through their stories.

And like so many things this season (and the last couple seasons), we’re all about retreading old ground but doing something different (by and large…I’m still bitter about 10x21 vs 12x21 but that’s neither here nor there).

Jack wants his parental figures to accept him and fake!Cas tries to drive a wedge there, but it doesn’t work. In this regard, Jack has early Sam’s arc, but there’s hope that this will go better for him that it did for Sam.

Mary, too, gets closure/redemption for her past, in multiple ways. We see her act far more maternal to Jack than she has to Sam and Dean (which, I get on a logical level, even if my Jodyness struggles to sympathize with). And, Bobby tells her that she made the right choice with the demon deal, even if it caused pain for her sons. Of course, neither Mary could have known the true repercussions of the deal, and this is not to blame AU!Mary Campbell for her decision. Just because Mary Campbell didn’t make the deal doesn’t mean she doomed the world. There are what, 7 billion people on Earth? This is what we call a “team effort” – there’s no way ONE person is responsible for all the decisions and actions (or lack thereof) of everyone else on Earth. Anyway, my point is, our Mary has been carrying this burden around with her forever, and hopefully she realizes that this isn’t all her fault.

Interesting parallel: Donatello makes a jab at Dean that for once, this isn’t something Dean’s been specially chosen by God to do. We get so used to the Winchesters/Campbells being at the center of everything that it was interesting to have a character point out that no, sometimes, you’re just a regular ol’ human. Of course, Donatello means this as an insult, but he doesn’t understand that, truthfully, there’s nothing Dean would rather hear in the world more: that he’s  _not_  important, he’s  _not_  responsible for the fate of the world. And can you blame him?

Other things…

  * Sam’s instant defeat as soon as they realize Donatello’s been playing them for a sucker. :( Sam needs a win!!
  * Dean and Cas are still so close yet so far. Dean tries to talk to Cas and check in with him, but he’s still not getting the words quite right… A criticism he levels at Cas later (lol seriously, Dean? You’re gonna question an  _angel’s_  Enochian? What a goober) and which Cas huffily dismisses. 
    * And not just the Enochian: Cas once again reiterates that he loves Dean (and Sam). He knows what he means. He’s using the right words.
    * Yes, I’m aware that Sam and Dean were both hurt by Donatello and Dean’s attack was more severe, which would obviously account for Cas’ instant warrior-mode determination, and it might have happened even if Dean and Sam’s roles were reversed in this episode, but the fact is, the story wasn’t written that way. Dean is the one who nearly dies, Cas rushes to him, and then goes full badass on Donatello.
  * Donatello: *dying out of breath* “Running is hard.” Same, dude.
    * Random note: is it bad that I only just figured out where I knew the actor from??? Seriously, if I’d realized it was Holtz from  _Angel_ , I woulda been screaming,  _don’t let him anywhere near, Jack!!!_  But oh well. Jack still ended up in a war dimension, honing his powers…and oh hey wait he should only be a baby but suddenly he’s an adult…and jfc I know I ranted back in s12 about how tired of evil mystical pregnancies I was after Cordelia but…ok Imma stop now because I’m just rambling at this point.
  * Gog and Magog fangirling over how pretty Dean and Cas are. They’re not wrong. I am 100% here for feminist queer prehistoric warriors.
    * Also Dean: don’t dis the loincloths. Did you fight a fearsome flannel and denim beast and then skin it for your wardrobe? Didn’t think so.
  * The last scene with Cas explaining the spell ingredients. Of course we only get clear shots of Dean – he’s so concerned and you know it kills him when Cas throws his own words back at him. Really, though, Dean and Sam don’t have a leg to stand on when they accuse him of going too far (hey, Dean, remember how you threatened Kaia at gunpoint not too long ago, buddy?), but that doesn’t mean that what Cas did to Donatello isn’t terrifying. Just because they’ve all done scary af things doesn’t mean they should all  _continue_. But, as Cas pointed out: if he hadn’t, where would they be? It’s a sticky situation all around.



Also, Jack’s shadow puppets. He’s so smol and badass and I love him.

[spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [13x14](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/13x14) [spn season 13 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-13-reviews) [gog and magog](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/gog-and-magog)


	59. 13x15: Crosses Galore

Ok I’m writing this on my phone because I still have no power/internet/cell service at my place and nothing says New England more than sipping an iced Dunks coffee after a snow storm, bumming better cell reception in the parking lot. My point is, this’ll be short and sweet.

1\. I think I would have been more on board for the thieves/noir stuff if we hadn’t already had The Scorpion and the Frog. That being said, I did enjoy the episode.

2\. The Father acknowledged that the good thing and the stupid thing are often the same. Hmmm who gets accused of doing something stupid all the time?

3\. Dean, don’t diss Sam’s Disney princess hair. You’re just jealous. Or is the fancy shampoo just not working for you, huh?

4\. I was surprised they went straight to the saint bit for blood. When they needed the nun’s bone in s7, that made sense she was dead – people don’t tend to have spare bones lying about. But blood seems like it’d be better fresh (or freshly dead… Now I’m thinking of Young Frankenstein… ain’t got no body and nobody cares! Don’t mind me…)

5\. By the end with the shoot out and the music, I was half waiting for Sam and Dean to pull a Boondock Saints on Greenstreet.

6\. I will always love Dean and Sam talking to religious people about God. Like you KNOW they’re just DYING to be like GOD MADE ME PANCAKES TRUST ME I KNOW HIM. (Of course then we’re back to, “You mean an angel on your shoulder?” “No, his name’s Castiel. He wears a trenchcoat” territory.)

7\. Oh my review title… Double/triple crosses… Religious crosses… Something something meta worthy.

8\. Sam’s thought at the end about how they’re always playing defense…. Isn’t that exactly what happened in 12x14 and wasn’t it SAM who said to the Alpha they should go back to the cops and robbers model of hunting? We’ve seen what happens when humans try to eliminate all monsters with the BMOL. It ain’t pretty. And what about the Garths of the world? I’m very uncomfortable with them returning to a B&W view of hunting. I was hoping Dean would disagree more. He didn’t exactly agree with Sam, but didn’t say no either.

9\. The world isn’t perfect and never will be. This is such a central theme of the show. I like hearing it again. But the Father’s point on what you should do to make things right/better seemed murky.

10\. Dean zoning out about Baby lol. As soon as the Father started describing the skull, Baby was my first thought, too. Also I’m pretty sure there’s an old [@bisexualdemondean](https://tmblr.co/mKvBktjBynIZzn0sss-OAXw) post floating around with his will and he says pretty much the same thing about Baby: if he can’t have her, no one can. So props to BDD once again for always being…well, not in character because obv BDD isn’t a character…but…true to himself? That’ll work. (If I ever get internet back for reals, I’ll dig up the post and link it.)

[13x15](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/13x15) [spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [spn season 13 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-13-reviews)


	60. 13x16: Zoinks

I know the meta folks are going to be all over this episode with the theme of masks and whatnot, so I’ll just keep this mostly to my reactions/thoughts.

  * By and large this episode had me grinning. I didn’t watch a whole ton of Scooby Doo as a kid, but I watched enough to enjoy this episode as a fun, kinda cracky mashup. 
  * Even though it also works well with a lot of the s13 themes – and it makes me wonder how many of the themes were built around what they knew was coming in this episode. Like Dean’s line doubting whether Gabriel is really dead – when that was written in s12, that would have been just a throwaway line and kind of a call out to the fans who have been asking this for years. But now…we know he’s back. Also, Colonel Sanders/Asmodeus…same deal.
  * So much performing!Dean and having that fall apart: the love of a cartoon, the Elsa reference, the sleeping robe (it’s a nightgown, Dean) that he says is like being wrapped in hugs…. Gah, loved it.
  * Dean totally has a crush on Fred. Lbr.
  * The Daphne stuff was somehow worse than I thought it would be. I was hoping Jensen was kidding when he said Daphne was curvier than usual, but nope. Coulda done without that whole bit.
  * Velma should not take cues from Becky.
  * Cas’ sass might be the true winner in this episode (as it always is).
  * Baby vs. Mystery Machine. I think I know how Baby lost. [There will be fic](https://thayerkerbasy.tumblr.com/post/172319305569/grey2510-dmsilvisart-hahaha-grey2510).
  * I love the cold opening with the dinosaur hahaha. Another thing that I’m pretty sure they pulled from when writing the rest of s13.
  * Dean and Cas… #married. 
  * I get why Dean didn’t want to tell the Scooby gang anything, but I also like that Sam respected Velma enough to tell her the truth.
  * The Scooby gang’s existential crisis…omg. Look what you did, guys. We had a perfectly normal group of teenage mystery solvers and now they have anxiety.
  * I kind of loved how whenever there was a dead body, Fred and the gang were just so cheery about it, like ok, let’s go solve the mystery!! But, it makes sense – they didn’t  _really_  believe in their animated hearts of hearts that they were real deaths.
  * I love that it was a shady real estate deal after all. And I also loved Sam’s objection when Velma suggested it that there are better scams out there lol. Quality priorities there, Sammy.



Ok, off to write some fic. Hehehe.

[spn season 13 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-13-reviews) [spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [13x16](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/13x16)


	61. 13x17: A Tragic Hallmark Movie…With Tentacles

I can’t say that I’m on Team Tentacle most of the time (not that there’s anything wrong with that…), but I thoroughly enjoyed this episode. It was so well done – Davy Perez, you haven’t failed us yet, keep doing what you’re doing. <3

My rambley thoughts…

  * Dean and the Post-It notes: I love that Dean’s such a goober. Like, there was literally no point to this prank other than to mess with Sam. It’s not like anyone else was going to see it, and I love how long it took for Sam to notice. Same with the “Jinkies” comment. Such brothers lol.
  * Dean and books: I love that his annoyance and reluctance was half performance and half real. Dean’s reaction/sarcasm is just an automatic thing at this point: he’s the “dumb” brother and Sam’s the “nerd” – it’s not true, but that’s the part they play up. We know (as Sam points out) that Dean loves books/doesn’t hate reading, but it has to be on Dean’s terms. Dean’s smart and he reads and he’s a nerd in his own way, but it’s true that this is something that Sam enjoys more. Sam’s more cerebral than Dean; Dean’s more practical when it comes to knowledge (he researches when it benefits him) or he reads what he wants for pleasure. That doesn’t mean they can’t operate at times like the other brother, but I feel like that’s just how they normally go about things. Sam’s interest is more academic: he likes the mental challenge of it. I headcanon that in school, math might not have been Sam’s favorite subject (we almost always see him associated with reading, writing, mythology, languages, law/philosophy, etc.), but he was probably good at it and liked being good at it because it was like a puzzle and it was satisfying to solve it. (Then again, I could just be projecting, as an English teacher who “hates math” but took AP Calc as a junior in high school.) Meanwhile, Dean was probably just as good at school (when he tried and/or had time to do work – but that’s a whole ‘nother conversation) but didn’t get the same fulfillment out of it, unless it was something he was already interested in or something that directly benefited him. Dean’s the Holden Caulfield: “I’m illiterate but I read a lot of books” (aka. “I read what I want and probably didn’t read the stuff I was *supposed to* for class or whatever.”)
    * That was a really long ramble… should probably talk about the rest of the episode…
  * The Capitulums: I’m glad they brought this back because it makes Henry’s clubhouse in Normal, Illinois make more sense. Also, I love that Capitulum 1 is in Jamestown – really gives a sense of just how long the MOL have been around in the Americas. (Also definitely something to be said about colonization, but as usual, I’ll just toss the meta nugget out there and see if anyone else picks it up.)
  * The eye symbol – I love that the motif has been carried through this season. And the purple eyes, too.
  * Can I get the MOL’s magic dust repellent? The Bunker was pristine when they found it, the Capitulum was pretty clean (granted people had been in there but I doubt they were going all Mr. Clean on the place)… Whatever the secret is, I want it.
  * Gabriel: at first I was wondering how much of his demeanor was legitimate trauma and how much of it was him playing it up, but I’m pretty sure that our boy is broken. :( Also, this gives a lot more credence to a couple things:
    * Michael’s state in the Cage – maybe he really is broken, too
    * Chuck’s claim that he couldn’t bring Gabriel back to help with Amara – Gabriel could have been pretty depleted by then already (depending on how long KFD has had him)
  * THE BI PLAID: Sandy looks like one thing but is something else. She’s two things at once…
  * **CW: allusion to rape/assault:** Sandy’s story and Dean’s reaction: this was an understated moment, but I really loved Dean’s reaction to Sandy’s story about being dragged away by a bunch of strange men. We know it’s horrifying because tentacles, but before Dean even gets that side of the story, he says something like, “Whatever happened…you’re safe.” (the … added by me). I was fully expecting him to say “Whatever happened, it wasn’t your fault”, which gives Sandy’s story another shade of violation (a far more human one). Dean doesn’t say the line, but it’s implied, and I love that he’s sympathetic to this woman’s experience and doesn’t blame her for ending up in that situation. Obviously, we know that Dean is a good guy, but it’s still nice to see that on screen.
  * **More CW:**  This is out of order with the rest of the review, but while we’re here… there were some jokes about Dean and tentacle porn and I think it was interesting that even after his experience, where he very nearly was raped/assaulted by tentacles, he still said “not that there’s anything wrong with that” re: tentacle porn. Dean still isn’t put off by tentacles… he’s just put off by non-consensual tentacles (or non-consensual anything). Good for you, Dean – keep your consensual kinky dreams alive.
  * **CW over**
  * KFD and the angel Grace vs. Crowley and human blood
    * someone meta this
  * Dean’s perception of the American MOL (they wore tweed and didn’t kidnap people) is so clearly based on Henry – Dean knows what the BMOL were like: anything from Mick (nerd) and Fakeo Eric Trump Malfoy (Remmy?) (stuck up and useless nerd) to Ketch and Hess (sadistic assholes). Ketch and Hess definitely don’t fit the same mold as Henry, and so it’s interesting that Dean makes a distinction between the AMOL and BMOL like that.
  * I’m sad Dean didn’t get to try (non-dosed) stuffies and clam cakes. 
    * Also, Sam: a lobster roll with no bun?? Wtf. 
  * We got Molotov-baited. :(
  * I like that a good chunk of Portsmouth seemed to be connected with the MOL (the police, etc.) – no wonder they’d been able to keep her locked up so well.
  * Diego’s plan to start the world over fresh, but “didn’t exactly bring Paradise”– Michael and Lucifer parallels up the wazoo here
  * KFD telling Ketch that he’s past redemption and that they’re the same: I like that it parallels what Ketch tried to tell Dean last season. I think Ketch is probably going to get some sort of redemption arc, and I don’t think that the AU world “shan’t be [his] last” battle zone.
  * The tentacles: I’m so glad they waited until S13 for this because the special effects were actually good. If they’d done it in early seasons, it would have been terrible.
  * “It’s tragic. Like a Hallmark movie, but with tentacles.” This is such a parallel (minus the tentacles, but who knows what Cas’ true form is like) for Dean and Cas, being separated by the rift. But I’ll let the meta crew do their magic with this. :)
  * Sam: “Think you’re just going to move in?” Ketch: *shrugs* “Dibs on the top bunk?” lol I dunno why but Ketch’s whole bit here made me laugh
  * Sam and Gabriel: disclaimer: I don’t ship Sabriel/don’t get it in canon, but if you do, cool :), so don’t take this as ship-hate. Anyway… to me, Sam seemed really bothered/freaked out by Gabriel’s return when Ketch dragged him in, way more than Dean. And not like relieved freaked out, just genuinely freaked out. It wasn’t like when Sam sees Lucifer, but I was reminded of that a little. Sam was kind to Gabriel and concerned, but he didn’t seem overjoyed with the prospect of being left alone with the archangel, either. In any case, I’m really curious to see what happens with them next episode (…even if it is our favorite writers…).
  * Dean’s decision to split up: he’s not wrong, and I love/hate it. Hate it because Sam’s not wrong either: they work best all together, but I love it because it’s a break in the co-dependency and it shows thinking/a back up plan – if Dean fails, Sam can still complete the mission, instead of putting all their eggs in one basket. Also, with Gabriel there, it makes sense that one of them needs to stay behind.



S13 has been one solid season. I was saying to Thayer that I’m not sure if the overarching story is my favorite of all the seasons (I’m also reserving final judgment until I’ve seen it all play out), but the individual episodes have been awesome, by and large. If they can keep this up, S14 is going to be awesome, too.

[spn season 13 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-13-reviews) [13x17](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/13x17)


	62. 13x18: Her? Me? Her.

While I did enjoy this episode, one of the constant issues with a BL episode is that there’s always a lot of storylines going on and so they never get as deep as other writers. Also, their lines tend to have the subtlety of a  ~~Dean on a stealth mission~~  bull in a china shop, so there isn’t always as much to unpack with what little we do get for any given story/character.

That being said, I think it’s interesting that all three main storylines involved a character being asked to be someone else and all of them saying, that ain’t me. 

We first get it with Jo/Anael telling Lucifer to try acting like God if he wants the respect God was given. Lucifer fails at this spectacularly. Jo/Anael changes her tactics and points out that Lucifer is not, in fact, God literally, and she refers to God as  _Lucifer’s_  father, not her own. Now, obviously, God  _is_  her father, but with the exception of Metatron and Joshua, none of the regular angels have ever had any interaction with God, not like the archangels did. 

This distinction comes up again when Cas tries to convince Gabriel to help them save the world from AU!Michael. Cas echoes Jo/Anael, calling Earth “Your father’s creation”. Now, Cas has been constantly moving away from Heaven and his relationship with God is…complex, and by the time we had confirmation that Chuck was God, they really didn’t interact at all. So it’s no wonder that Cas doesn’t really see him as a father figure in any meaningful (human) way. To get back to the episode, this linguistic link between the two scenes forces us to call attention to what Jo/Anael and Cas are asking the other person to do (as well as comment on the God/angel dynamics). Cas says this to Gabriel hoping to convince Gabriel to take up the mantle of Earth’s protector. But Gabriel isn’t God, he isn’t Cas, he isn’t original flavor Michael, he isn’t Lucifer, or whoever else they want him to be… He’s his own person and that person is not a team player. (Also, Gabriel is 100% not ok. There’s a great post going around that delves into Gabriel’s mannerism and speech in this episode and if someone has it handy, I’ll be happy to link it.  **EDIT:**  [@thayerkerbasy](https://tmblr.co/mnmruVrY3w7bx5YX5qutl4g) with the save: [here it is](http://astralgabriel.tumblr.com/post/172893732048/meta-on-13x18-and-gabriel-obviously-do-not-read) by [@astralgabriel](https://tmblr.co/m34afvy_HKtHrAK_UY3bCwA))

Last, we have AU!Charlie asking Dean about our Charlie. Dean knows deep down that this is not his Charlie, but it’s clear he still conflates them. He expects/hopes that she’ll leave this hellscape and come back to the “real” world, but that’s not her home. She is not a replacement for our Charlie; she can’t be. Charlie herself makes that distinction clear – not just in her refusal to abandon her friends and home and her fight – but how she identifies herself and her other self. At first, she’s not sure how to refer to our Charlie, confusing the pronouns: “Her? Me? Her.” What’s great, though, is she settles firmly on “Her.” She is not our Charlie, nor does she see herself that way. They are distinct people. So for Dean, it might be important not see this Charlie die, too, but saving her won’t fix anything at home, and it won’t change the fact that our Charlie was brutally butchered.  _Saving this Charlie doesn’t fix anything, even if it’s a good thing to do._  *glares pointedly at the writers and waits for their apology in the form of original flavor Eileen being not dead*

Anyway, that was my big metaish take away from the episode… Other thoughts under the cut.

  * Dean and Ketch: I really like their dynamic on some level. I also love that Dean is like,  _yeah my mom’s gonna kill you again, so good luck, buddy._  It’s great because it’s like,  _I could be the alpha male douche and go all protective and kill you for her, but nah, she’s a badass and can take care of shit herself – and I’m gonna grab popcorn while she kicks your ass._  That all being said, I also enjoy their frenemy vibe. It’s entertaining. (Also DHJ is a delight and I’m happy for any excuse to keep him around, even though I don’t think Ketch is long for either world…)
  * Sassy Cas continues to be the best thing ever.
  * Sam’s speech to Gabriel about how this is his life now is eerily similar to what Sam told Charlie (minus the pep talk bits) back in s10. Considering we got AU!Charlie back, that can’t be coincidence. (Although, it’s BL, so who knows.)
  * Gabriel’s first words back are “porn stars.” <3
  * The more I see of Danneel, the more I like her. I hope Jo/Anael sticks around for awhile.
  * Dean’s wound: I was really hoping for a 12x12 wound. Also, I was confused when Ketch was talking about the antidotes and stuff – he said “at first” and then Dean asked for clarification, but then Ketch’s response didn’t really clarify anything for me? He just talked about how it would lead to a nasty death without the antidote, but the way he phrased the “at first” made me think that Dean’s wound wasn’t what he thought it was and that his little remedy might not actually work?? And then Sam immediately asked Dean if he was ok… Idk maybe I’m just tired and should stop trying to puzzle out BL’s clunky dialogue, or maybe I missed something??
  * KFD got KF’d :)
  * The executions on the bridge… for some reason all I could think of was “An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge”, even if that’s not what happened at all.
  * Lucifer and Jo/Anael continue to make Trump references. Yep.
  * Commander angel dude: I really like the theory floating around that it’s AU!Cas… Idk if that’ll actually happen, but I think it’d be cool.
  * “You’re not my type either.” *two seconds later, hey was that girl your ex?* Such a great little snippet: on the one hand, you have Dean 1) openly acknowledging the weird almost sexual tension between the two of them 2) shutting that down hardcore  ~~because he’s taken.~~  On the other hand, you have two instances of assumptions/blurry lines: 1) Charlie and Dean are assumed to have a heterosexual relationship (which Charlie also worried about lol) because the cultural assumption is that everyone is straight unless told otherwise (is Charlie the only one being mislabeled here???? we just don’t know) 2) Charlie and Dean are assumed to have a romantic/sexual relationship, but the reality is it was family (possibly the inverse of another very close relationship of Dean’s???? we just don’t know)
  * The last scene: chills. Jensen brings it once again with Dean’s anger and frustration. Jared and Misha are no slouches either – you can tell Sam and Cas are upset as well. Everyone in the scene feels like they screwed up and they blame themselves. Dean’s the more explosive one, so the focus goes there, but yeah, it’s not a happy moment for anyone involved. What I do appreciate is that Dean didn’t “blame” Sam and Cas, beyond asking whether they still had Gabriel’s Grace. He immediately turns it back on himself, not “you should not have given him his Grace back”, but “I shouldn’t have come back if I’d known because now I’ve made even more promises I can’t keep and people I love (or somewhat tolerate, in the case of Ketch) are likely going to die”.
    * The only blame I *could* put here is that Sam and Cas didn’t wait until Dean was back to give Gabriel his Grace. Which, I totally get: it wasn’t  _their_  Grace, and to deny Gabriel his own essence is really icky for a lot of reasons. But, on a completely logical side, the whole reason Dean left Sam behind was so that they had a backup plan if Dean didn’t make it back. Sam and Cas could have waited until Dean was back to give Gabriel his Grace; it was only a day. They had no guarantee that Gabriel all powered up would help them open the rift if they needed it. But, like I said, it would’ve been icky for them to deny Gabriel it. 
  * Charlie and the Star Wars references. She got called “scum” while being questioned about the location of the Resistance base. She’s definitely Leia <3



[spn season 13 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-13-reviews) [13x18](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/13x18)


	63. 13x19: Choices

Oh god there was so much to love about this episode!!! I said after 13x05 that it was probably my favorite episode of the season so far (up to that point) and Yockey brought it again to this episode. This season has been damn good.

Where to begin??

(also, I’m on mobile because my internet is being a pain in the ass, so as much as I love this ep, it probably won’t get a novel)

  * ROWENA. I love her whole arc and I hope they give her the redemption story she deserves. (and doesn’t just end with a sacrifice…)
  * Sam and Rowena. Damn, what a bombshell that he’ll be the one to kill her. Gahhh there’s so many ways for this to go and I’m excited and a little terrified for all of them. (Shameless self promotion, I wrote a coda about this: [https://archiveofourown.org/works/14373948](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F14373948&t=ODg4NjQ1MGY3YTU5OWY3NzE1ZmQyOWRmNmRiYjI1YjEyNGU0NzA2MCw0NzBmODRlMzFiZTJkNDAzZDI3MDBmYzU4NWRkMDM2ZTliZTc2NDk5)) I’m so fascinated by their dynamic (and I love that it continues to be the parallel to Dean and Crowley).
  * Cas: “She’s right: you never go to parties.” And “Ball handler.” Cas, I love you.
  * Dean and Cas in the kitchen: there’s a lot to unpack here: Dean not listening about the beer but also telling Cas to try Heaven (with the caveat not to get killed)… I know the meta crew will be chewing on this for days.
  * Dean’s attempt to just come up with ideas… I love how expressive he is. There’s just something so endearing about him. :)
  * Indira was great and I hope we see more of him.
  * I think this is the first time in a long while I’m actually interested in what’s going on in Heaven. This whole lack of angels things and Heaven hitting crisis mode is another great narrative ball they’ve tossed up in the air (lucky for Cas, he knows all about handling those). Also, I’ll bet you ten bucks Bobby is exceptionally surly with these power fluctuations right now.
  * Cas waiting for the angels in the throne room is such an interesting scene: he’s very human (and very Dean, especially à la the Green Room) but I also got Casifer vibes. I particularly liked him knocking on the throne, like it’s cheap or hollow. Such great symbolism.
  * Jessica the reaper: I thoroughly enjoyed her :)
  * Naomi!!!!!! I love the continuation of characters confronting their abusers this season. Other things I loved about this: Cas’ greatest grievances are that his memories were stolen and he was tortured by killing Dean, specifically. Shipper goggles, we’re once again reminded that the most important person to Cas is Dean (and it’s been this way for a long damn time), which parallels Dean’s arc at the beginning of the season when he was mourning Cas and then his 180 when Cas returned. As for the memory bit: Naomi not only doesn’t apologize (even when Cas points it out, she just goes mhm), but she’s lost some of her memories, too. She got a taste of her own medicine and I find this fascinating.
  * And no one actually tells Cas that they let Lucifer in!
  * And after listening to Naomi, I don’t blame Gabriel for wanting nothing to do with any of them. They just want to use him for his power. Sounds eerily familiar…
  * The fight scene was amazing! This new choreographer is great and the couple on the elevator bit was gold!
  * Rowena’s guilt over her parenting (or lack thereof): she’s a great mirror to all the other parental issues this season (Lucifer//Jack//Cas, for instance) but for me, John was the unspoken parallel here. Rowena might shared abandonment with Mary (in a way), but the emotional baggage/neglect that influenced Fergus is very John, too. (As [@thayerkerbasy](https://tmblr.co/mnmruVrY3w7bx5YX5qutl4g) said last night to me, as a single parent, she gets both.) John has loomed in the negative spaces this season, and this episode is no exception.
  * I also loved how this is reflected in her conversation with Dean and Sam at the end. She blames herself for Fergus’ downfall, but Dean points out that he made his choices, too. And it’s true: no parent is responsible for everything about their child’s life. (I’m not excusing any of their negative behaviors towards their children, mind you.) Might Fergus (or Dean or Sam) have made better choices if he’d had better parenting? Sure. But there are plenty of people who are given every support and still make terrible choices. All of these characters have messed up and carry a lot of guilt, but maybe it’s time they start only carrying the weights they’ve earned, not those of the entire world.
  * Billie continues to be an amazing Death. Chills every time she’s on screen. And I really wanna know (but don’t) why Dean will be seeing her soon…



I’m so excited for the rest of the season!!

[spn spoilers](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-spoilers) [13x19](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/13x19) [spn season 13 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-13-reviews) [i know i'm missing stuff](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/i-know-i%27m-missing-stuff)[but typing on my phone is a pain](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/but-typing-on-my-phone-is-a-pain)


	64. 13x20: Prepare to Die

Ok, so while the filming style might have been all Kill Bill, there were definitely more than a few moments that had me waiting for someone to cry, “inconceivable!”, only to be told they’re misusing the word. 

Granted, it was mostly when Loki accused Gabriel of killing his father, but also when Sam and Gabriel talked at the end (Sam was about half a second from asking Gabriel if he’d ever considered piracy, lbr).

(Also, as I’m writing this, I’m imagining @thayerkerbasy‘s head shaking or eyes rolling because it’s become a running joke how often I quote this damn movie. Love you, too, boo.)

(I regret calling you boo.)

(Mostly.)

_Anyway._

Some other thoughts under the cut…

## Gabriel, Dean, Sam

  * I’m too lazy to go back, but does the reveal that Loki and Gabriel are different beings change any of The Trickster’s earlier episodes? (I’m thinking more specifically Tall Tales because by Mystery Spot, it’s clear that this Trickster has a vested interest in the brothers.)
  * Gabriel’s kazoo. <3
  * “Never known an archangel to bleed” – keeping once again with our theme of angel(s)/angelic entities being almost human
  * Dean and Cas’ phone call…. #married
    * Also this means that Cas was on a wild goose chase :(
  * I just love Gabriel’s way of speaking. He’s just so damn  _funny_ , it’s no wonder that fanon has reinterpreted him as a loveable goof. (Even though canon, and this episode in particular, shows us once again just how much more complex and downright scary Gabriel is.)
    * “Don’t let anyone ever tell you you’re just a pretty face.” – actually my favorite part here was how  _offended_  Dean was. Like,  _no one says that wtf is wrong with you Sammy’s the smart one_. Which in true Winchester fashion is also as sad as fuck, but yeah…
    * Sam asking if Gabriel’s low on Grace from killing KFD…”And ditching you” lol
    * “Super dupes.” “Raspberries.”
    * “Ready to die?” omg could you  _get_ more cliche, there, Gabriel??? People (Crowley) always accuse Dean of that kind of Hollywood crap, but Gabriel’s just as bad (if not worse) lol.
    * “Casa Erotica?” “You call that help?” “I call that art.” lolll
  * THE POKER SCENE. Dean, sweetie, just come out of the closet already.
    * But for reals. There’s no reason for that  ~~Cas stand in~~ guy to be there in the realm of popular media and narrative (because society is dumb and heteronormative and raise your hand if you honestly 100% thought that Gabriel meant anything other than female porn stars when he first mentioned them a few episodes ago and if you did raise your hand congrats on being woke af and also I’m sure some of you are BSing me so put your hands back down). In fact, there wasn’t even a reason for porn stars to be there  _of any gender_  other than the fact that  _Dean asked about them_. Gabriel had to “rewind” the story to include them, which means that Gabriel was likely making shit up to make himself seem cool.
      * We went from performing!Dean meta to performing!Gabriel meta. Gabriel, who was  _pretending_  to be a  _trickster god_  and likes to  _hide_  and use  _illusions._  He’s a walking performance.
    * Getting back to the porn stars… Dean’s the one actually imagining this scene. Cinematically, it almost always cuts back to Dean’s coverage, and Dean’s the one whose fantasy gets interrupted by Sam asking to skip to the end. Which means that  _the guy in the poker scene was there because that’s what Dean imagined._
    * bi bi bi bi bi bi bi bi
  * “Hiking in the fjords” – I got John Cleese “pining for the fjords” vibes when Gabriel said this, but that could just be me
  * Gabriel wants to bet personal lubricant. Dear Astroglide…
  * THE FIGHT SCENE!!
    * Loki’s hologram’s lollipops. I love that it wasn’t the  _real_  Loki who had this, once again reminding us that everything we think we know about these characters is a performance/trick/illusion.
    * Dude. All the kudos to Speight. He really brought it with playing two characters and directing. And it was so obvious in every mannerism who was Loki and who was Gabriel, beyond the costuming. Well done.
    * Side note: all of Loki’s sons were killed by a dude who looked like their father. Fun times with the father theme.
    * Speaking of… Loki saying Odin hated him, but it’s his father so he has to avenge him, then he prods Dean, saying that Dean would do anything for his– *stab* Sooooo much to unpack here with Dean’s own father issues.
    * “You’re a joke. You’re a failure. You live for pleasure. You stand for nothing, and in the end, that’s exactly what you’ll die for.” So, again, it was super clear that Loki =/= Gabriel, but still, be told that from someone with the same face as you? Damn. This was super intense and I just loved everything about it.
  * Sam and Gabriel’s conversation at the end – it’s so clear that they both know the other isn’t entirely buying what the other is selling (that Gabriel’s ok/“a whole new man” or that Sam believes him). 
    * I think it’s great this season that Sam’s the one who’s associated with more people (Rowena, etc.)…although I’d just like him to have one non-problematic friend.
      * *side eyes BL over 12x21* ahem
  * Dean’s attitude during all of this: we can just see how utterly done and close to breaking he is. We’ve been talking a lot about Sam’s trauma when it comes to Lucifer (which is good!!), but this is also deeply traumatic for Dean, too. He got the shit beat out of him by Lucifer wearing his brother and then his brother jumped into Hell, leaving Dean alone. I don’t care that it’s been almost a decade. That shit fucks you up  _forever_ , especially when your relationship is as tangled as theirs is. Sure, Dean could send Sam off in 12x22, but fighting the BMOL didn’t have quite the same traumatic resonance (Sam’s kidnapping and torture by Toni Bevell notwithstanding – he survived and Dean didn’t lose him). Now they’re going after the Apocalypse, as Dean pointed out, and he’s fucking terrified of losing his brother (basically, his child, lbr). So yeah, it shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone that Dean’s going to do something monumentally stupid at the expense of himself to protect Sam and save his family.



## Mary and Jack

  * I love their relationship. Mary gets to be a “mom” but without any of the baggage that comes with Sam and Dean. It’s so clear that she’s still mourning her two little boys (”I can’t lose another boy” – granted, she could also be talking about Cas and/or the fact that she’s separated from Sam and Dean, but she could mean all of these things) and Jack is her redemption arc on this front, in a way. She can’t parent Sam and Dean – she’s stuck in a weird limbo with them. And as Mary points out to Jack, “You can’t help them if you’re dead”. It’s a lesson she learned the hard way, but she’s determined to get it right this time. 
    * Obviously it’s not like she intentionally left her sons when she died, but she still wasn’t there, and that loss changed the Winchester family forever.
  * Jack is such a great mirror for everyone this season. Mary tells him he’s rushing into things, which is a mirror for Dean’s decisions lately, but Sam and Cas have also had their fair share of this. 
  * The armies on the map… anyone get Charlie/Moondor vibes?
  * Oh Kevin. :( Kevin is the new Adam, here, and it’s so sad to see how they were able to break him down like this. Ughhh. 
    * Minor complaint: I find it hard to believe that Linda Fucking Tran didn’t survive the Apocalypse.
  * AU!Balthazar is a bad guy and likely dead :(
  * 8 years of war – finally! I like having this bit of AU timeline clarified.
  * Mary confirms that Heaven is just memories and that John was clearly not in her personal little Heaven.
  * JACK’S WINGS!!! We get to see them TWICE! 
    * When he shields Mary
    * When he’s holding her after the camera pans over the dead people – I didn’t notice this until I rewatched the episode. Can anyone with better viewing capabilities see what condition his wings were in when he fanned them again? I’m curious if Kevin’s spell hurt them at all.
      * Also someone pointed out that this was the reverse Pieta and I’m kicking myself for not catching it. Such great symbolism/imagery.



All in all, this was a great episode. A+++ to Speight.

[spn season 13 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-13-reviews) [13x20](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/13x20)


	65. 13x21: Will We Always End Up…Here?

One of my favorite thematic lines of the entire series has been Lucifer’s “We will always end up–here” to Dean in 5x04 because of the ways it’s been revisited and/or upended over and over, whether with Lucifer specifically or from a character development standpoint for the brothers or for general narrative symmetry/subversion with other Big Bads. And now that in s13 and we’re finally  _truly_  confronting Lucifer and what he’s done to the boys, particularly Sam, the line is once again poignant. 

Say what you want about Lucifer and whether he’s overstayed his welcome (he has), but this particular arc  _needs_  to happen. S7′s Hallucifer and Sam’s “peace” with his trauma always felt like a cop out (to me, at least), and I think most of us were seriously frustrated at how s11 kind of just glazed over Sam’s trauma (even though Jared did what he could with it, if you really pay attention to his body language, but it’s far more subtle). 

This episode, we really start to see Sam vs. Lucifer, which we’ve been building to all season, particularly starting with Sam and Rowena’s conversation in 13x12. We also get to see Rowena vs. Lucifer, too, which is fantastic, but I’m going to focus on Sam vs. Lucifer today. (Not to diminish Rowena, or any of the other characters, but I’m actually jumping in on the meta bandwagon today, so I’m narrowing my scope, and I’m gonna assume that other people will cover that.)

In 13x21, there were  _a lot_ of film/TV homages – LOTR was probably the one that jumped out in everyone’s minds, though I also saw some people mention TWD (which, sorry, I don’t know much about; I saw the first season and what I know of the show since is what I’ve gleaned through the interwebs). But there was one scene that stood out to me that I haven’t seen anyone else dive into: Cas & Gabriel’s conversation and Sam & Dean’s conversation as a parallel to  _Stand By Me_.

For those of you who haven’t seen  _Stand By Me_  (or read  _The Body_ , the novella by Stephen King that the movie is based on), the general premise is four preteen boys (Gordie, Chris, Teddy, and Vern) set out on a long hike down the railroad tracks because one of them overheard their older brother talking about how the brother and his friend discovered the body of a missing kid, Ray Brower. They figure if they find the body and tell the police, they’ll be heroes. 

(Also, the movie is over 30 years old, so I have exactly zero qualms about spoiling it for anyone who hasn’t seen it. But, if for some reason you don’t want to be spoiled, consider this your warning that you should probably stop reading now.)

Now, keep in mind, some of the parallels I’m going to make aren’t a complete match because, for instance, Sam and Dean are brothers, and Gordie and Chris are not brothers, but the tropes/broad strokes work.

Allons-y!

Earlyish in the SBM boys’ journey, we have a scene where they’re split into two pairs as they walk down the path/tracks, with Teddy and Vern in the lead and Chris and Gordie behind them. 

_(Apologies for shitty screen caps – this is not my strong suit.)_

_[screencap of SBY - 4 boys walking on path L to R]_

[screen cap of Teddy and Vern singing/dancing in front, Gordon and Chris walking behind]

Much like our SPN boys:

[TFW+Gabriel walking L to R through woods]

[Shot from behind Sam and Dean, who are walking and talking while Cas and Gabriel are doing the same a bit head of them]

So, visually, we’re already in familiar territory. But wait, there’s more!

**Teddy & Vern // Cas & Gabriel:**

The musical cue for the SBM scene is oh-so fittingly [“Lollipop” by the Chordettes](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D3rYoRaxgOE0&t=NjM0MTZlZjYyNWQ1NWQyOGIwOWJjZGFlMGRjZjA5YjQzYmRhYjMwZCwyYjIxM2FmYTIxMTViM2M3MTM4ZjJiNWRhOGJmOTAzYjM2ZGI5ZmFi), and while 13x20 gave us a new explanation for why Gabriel is associated with candy, that it was actually Loki (although, the fact that Loki’s lollipop scene in 13x20 was a hologram/projection calls even that into question), the fact remains that we still as an audience associate Gabriel with this goofball candy-loving personality, even if it was a performance and even if we knew all along that Gabriel could be one scary motherfucker. 

In SBM, Teddy and Vern are our “goofballs”, even if Teddy in particular is a much more complex character (like his relationship with his father – who has PTSD so bad that he burned Teddy and yet Teddy still loves his father… *insert all the father meta from SPN you want here*). In this scene, they are singing/dancing to “Lollipop” and then start debating who would win in a fight: Mighty Mouse or Superman? Now, in SBM, this conversation serves as a stark contrast to the far more realistic and mature conversation Gordie and Chris are having (which I’ll discuss in a bit), and explains why by the end of the film, Teddy and Vern don’t go through quite as much of a transformation as the other two.

In SPN, though, Cas and Gabriel’s conversation subverts this. Their pairing in the AU starts off goofy with Gabriel landing oh-so gracefully (no pun intended) in Cas’ crotch, and their conversation as they walk begins with Gabriel trying to make light of Cas’ honest question: 

> **CAS:**  Have you, uh, have you thought about what’s next, after we get back to Earth?
> 
>  **GABRIEL:**  Uh, yeah, not so much, seeing as we still gotta find Jack and Mary. Not to mention, survive Michael and his super angel army.
> 
>  **CAS:**  Right.
> 
>  **GABRIEL:**  Although, I did tick off some, uh, bucket list items recently: got some revenge, had sex with a 300-year-old redhead. But what’s next for me? I don’t really know.

Cas then brings up the situation in Heaven and suggests that Gabriel, the self-proclaimed “screw up”, might be better than the “up standing angels” and could save Heaven. 

How does this connect to SBM? Well, the surface-level conversational parallel is the fact that Teddy & Vern and Cas & Gabriel are both discussing beings with super(natural) powers and the respective merits or abilities of each. Obviously, in the case of Teddy and Vern, this is all fictional, whereas Cas and Gabriel are discussing a very real problem. But this journey for all the boys in SBM is all about leaving home/the familiar/childhood, confronting death/reality, and returning home to face adulthood (the boys are going in junior high in the fall, which is a crucial part of Gordie and Chris’ conversation). Cas and Gabriel are on a similar journey: Cas and Gabriel’s respective relationships with Heaven/their pasts are complex, and who they will be when they emerge from the AU and face their futures (and deal with their pasts) is what they need to figure out. What they find and experience in the AU will undoubtedly impact that. Adult!Gordie’s narration at the end of the film tells us that Teddy and Vern don’t escape/grow like Chris and Gordie do, but hopefully the fact that Cas and Gabriel’s conversation about the Mighty Mouses and Supermans in their world are  _real_  and serious business is a sign that this will be subverted.

**Gordie & Chris // Sam & Dean**

Oh boy the character parallels. First, you have Chris, the kid whose “family was bad” and who “everyone knew [would] turn out bad”. He’s the leader of the group, his father is abusive, he is low class/under class and he doesn’t think he deserves (or should expect) anything better than that from life. He knows no one expects anything from him, he’s been branded a thief (because someone in authority screwed him over and of course who would ever believe that the “bad kid” would actually be a decent and telling the truth?), and he doesn’t think he can hack it in college track classes in junior high next year and will just end up in shop classes with the other “retards” [ _Note: I’m not advocating the use of this word, but it is the word Chris uses in the film._ ]. 

Yet, as they walk along the tracks, he’s also the one who tells Gordie that Gordie shouldn’t play dumb and go into shop classes and let his friends drag him down: Gordie is smart and has a chance. He even tells Gordie that he wishes he was Gordie’s father so he could essentially smack some sense into him because Gordie has a gift and “kids lose everything unless someone watches out for them”.

Sound like a certain Winchester we know?

Meanwhile, Gordie is the bookish younger brother whose intelligence and love of school isn’t appreciated by his parents because it’s not  ~~hunting~~ football. He’s virtually ignored by his parents, and his older brother, Denny, was the only one who ever gave a damn about Gordie’s accomplishments. 

Later on in the film, Gordie tells Chris that he’s not  ~~just a grunt~~ stupid and should enroll in the college courses, too.

Again, sound familiar?

(Obviously, here the Chris & Gordie // Sam & Dean parallel breaks down a bit because Dean ends up being both Denny and Chris, but again, we’re talking broad strokes/characterization.)

Now, characterization aside, what does this have to do with SPN?

Dean and Sam’s conversation is much shorter than Gabriel and Cas’, but the gist of it is Dean checking in with Sam and noticing that Sam seems “lighter” now. Sam explains that it’s because they’re so close to finally accomplishing what they’ve been trying to do all season: get their family back. (Dude, Sammy, way to jinx it…) This in and of itself isn’t all that similar to Gordie and Chris’ conversation (because that character dynamic has already been established in a myriad of ways over the years), but it does touch upon the future and what each of them wants or expect or hopes for – and that Sam believes, like Gordie does eventually, that it’s possible for  _both_  of them to get some of that peace, too. 

But, the true SBM/SPN connection here comes less in this brief scene’s specifics and more in the overall arc of the characters.

In the background of the four boys’ journey to find Ray Brower are the antics of the high school gang. They’re led by Ace, who is a general piece of shit and violent bully. Before the boys set off on their journey, Ace and Chris get into it when Ace takes Gordie’s hat (which his brother Denny gave him before Denny died). Chris gets pinned to the ground by Ace and forced to “take back” calling Ace an asshole, all while his older brother, Eyeball, watches gleefully while wearing Gordie’s hat. 

At the climax of the film, the boys find Ray Brower’s body and Gordie breaks down, as seeing Ray’s body triggers his grief over losing Denny 4 months ago and his feelings of inadequacy, saying his father hates him. Chris comforts him, telling him his dad doesn’t hate him – he just doesn’t know him – and he’s gonna be a great writer some day.

And then Ace’s gang shows up.

[screen cap of Ace + gang]

> **ACE:**  You guys have two choices: either leave quietly and we take the body, or you stay, we beat the shit out of you, and we take the body.

Lucifer presents Sam in 13x21 with two “choices”:

[blurry Lucifer behind Sam as Sam stares off at vamps]

> **LUCIFER:**  Yeah, [the vampires are] sort of all over there and I’m holding them back. … I didn’t want them flooding in here and eating you again, not until we finished our convo. … I’m getting to Jack, one way or the other. The only question is, you coming with? Or that?
> 
> [screen cap of ugly ass vamp]

In both cases, there isn’t really a choice. Sam ends up bringing Lucifer with him to the camp – and kudos to Jared for that entire scene in the tunnel when he realizes that he can’t even choose the vampires because Lucifer will bring him back, and for that expression of guilt and shame when Lucifer emerges in the camp. My heart. :(

But guess what Gordie does?

[screen cap of Gordie pointing gun (at Ace)]

He doesn’t kill Ace, but he does fire the gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, and then threatens to shoot Ace. Ace believes him enough to back out of the fight and the confrontation is over. The bully is defeated.

Sam has been walking on this path, much like the train tracks in SBM, and Lucifer has always said, this is where they’ll end up. But, unlike s5, where Sam’s only solution was to “give in” and sacrifice himself, in s13, we hopefully have another option. Lucifer might be right – we were always going to end up down this path – but what happens at the end of the tracks is another matter. It’s time for Sam to finally be able to stare Lucifer down and end the threat once and for all.

And…if we want to make this sad again…

Adult!Gordie tells us that Chris, our Dean character,  _did_  get out: he took the college track courses, went to college, and ended up a lawyer (whoops, wrong Winchester brother, but oh well, not the point), but then…he died. 

[screen cap of newspaper from SBY]

He walked into a fast food joint, saw two guys fighting, tried to be the good guy/peacemaker break it up, and ended up getting stabbed in the neck for his troubles.

So. Yeah. 

The season finale is gonna be a good time.

[spn season 13 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-13-reviews) [13x21](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/13x21) [stand by me](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/stand-by-me)[grey actually metas for a change](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/grey-actually-metas-for-a-change)[instead of just rambling and hoping someone else does the heavy lifting](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/instead-of-just-rambling-and-hoping-someone-else-does-the-heavy-lifting)


	66. 13x22: The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round

… I’m babysitting later, so I guess I’m just getting into the mindset.

Episode things!

  * Gabriel telling Lucifer off was awesome. And the fact that Lucifer still doesn’t get it? Yeah color me shocked when he Benedict Arnolds at the end.
  * Jack, sweetie, listening to Lucifer is the worst idea ever.
  * Kelly Kline gets more screen time! And then Lucifer ruins it by being gross about her.
  * Dean and Mary’s convo about Jack and fathers…oh boy.
  * For once, there weren’t a bagillion storylines in a BL ep so we had fun filler like the bus and jeep driving forevvvvverrr.
  * Sam and Dean hug and Dean supporting Sam’s need to deal with Lucifer. :)
  * Cas vs. Castiel: I love Misha but the accent really detracted from the emotional punch of the scene for me.
  * If Ketch is getting a redemption arc, I think I kind of like that it’s beside AU!Charlie. I also see why it’s potentially hugely problematic, but… I dunno. I have a weird soft spot for Ketch. (Also I totes thought he was going to kiss Dean…)
  * Dean, Mary needs to make her own decisions. And you don’t *need* her, not like you did when you were a kid.
  * Lucifer calling Cas “old sport” gave me some major Gatsby vibes and if I weren’t tired or if I were more invested in this ep, I’d probably have some metay things to say about it.
  * Gabriel is dead again??? That whole scene made no sense. *sigh*
  * Party in the Bunker! Also, Bobby, you forgot a Winchester in your speech. Cas was there, too!
  * Rowena, you did good :)



This was a really short review with very little to say… Sorry…. I guess I’m outta juice today.

[13x22](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/13x22) [spn season 13 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-13-reviews)


	67. 13x23: Ding Dong the Fucking Devil is Dead

Really, I’m tempted to end my review there because that’s mostly what I care about! Good riddance!!

I do wish that Sam had been the one who’d gotten the final kill, but I’ve also seen a few posts explaining why he couldn’t, so… I dunno. I’m not going to wade into that discussion any more than this because it involves a lot about trauma and that’s something I don’t feel knowledgeable enough to really weigh in on.

Other thoughts…

  * FYI: I’ve already expressed my dislike of the editing/directing choices, so I’m not going to talk about that here.
  * Bobby’s view of how fucked up our world is is A+
  * Mary/Bobby is definitely intriguing
  * Charle and Rowena off on a roadtrip…I’m not sure how I feel about this. I know everyone else is super excited but I dunno. 
  * I loved Dean’s conversation with Jack. Dad!Dean feeeeeeels.
  * Also, Dean shooting Jack just to get his attention…lol.
  * Michael busting down the door was pretty awesome.
  * Jack being seduced to the Dark Side… I was wondering for a little bit if that’s where they were going to go with Jack, and I’m glad they didn’t. Watching him have a break down and self harming/hitting himself was also really difficult to watch (partly because it was frighteningly similar to some student stuff I’ve seen lately)
  * Lucifer’s utter lack of a redemption… THANK YOU. I said last episode that Gabriel telling Lucifer he was a total fuckwad who couldn’t change was my jam and I’m glad they stuck with it.
  * Sam and Jack’s scene in the church was so heartbreaking but so good. 
  * Dean saying yes to Michael…
  * Ever since we found out Jensen would be playing someone other than Dean, we all jumped aboard the Michael train, even if there were compelling arguments for why it didn’t make sense for Dean’s character to say yes, especially if he didn’t in s5 and he’s grown a lot since then. That being said, I was still pretty convinced that was the direction they were going to go, simply because 1) they’re not that clever with their PR, lbr 2) I couldn’t think of a single other character that would make sense AT ALL given the mytharc elements of the season. Granted, I was expecting it to be our Michael so we’d have a Michael vs. Michael showdown, but Michael vs. Lucifer was a really great narrative callback to S5. 
  * Really, though, I feel like this decision to say yes wasn’t about Dean’s character, but was more about narrative ways out of a situation. Yes, Dean is Humanity and there’s a reason why he’s never been down this path before. But, the narrative kind of backed us into a corner with only a nuclear option. Lucifer is bad enough on his own when he’s powered up, but he stole Jack’s grace, which we know is even  _more_  powerful. I really can’t think of any other solution to fighting a super juiced up Lucifer other than Michael!Dean. Throw him in the Cage? How? Would that even work and contain him with Jack’s powers? And Rowena’s not around, and they don’t have the Horseman’s Rings, so…
  * I’m not trying to dismiss the “this doesn’t fit Dean’s arc” arguments. Because they’re not wrong. What is different, though, than say, Sam saying yes to Lucifer or Cas saying yes to Lucifer is that neither Sam nor Cas thought they would get out of the situation alive. Sam fully expected to sacrifice himself, Cas was too depressed to care what happened to him. But Dean, even though he said he doesn’t care what happens to him, still fights for his agency. In S5, Dean’s only conditions to saying yes were to protect the people he cared about. In S13, Dean demands that it’s a one time deal and he gets to be in charge. True, Michael betrays him and Dean really should have seen that coming, but at no point was Dean ready to just throw his life and agency away, even to save his brother and Jack.
  * In other news: Jensen in a suit. Please and thank you.
  * Cas’ utter brokenness at the end there, when Mary and Bobby arrive. The grieving widower. I love that he got a separate reaction than Sam and Jack, and I love that he was silent during this. We’ve talked again and again this season about how silence and emptiness says so much more, and this just continued that theme. It was a great parallel to Dean falling to his knees beside Cas in 12x23. (And by great, I mean, ouch.)



Overall, not my favorite episode by a long shot, but there’s definitely been worse. Commence hellatus crack. :)

[spn season 13 reviews](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-season-13-reviews) [13x23](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/13x23) [team free will: world police](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/tagged/team-free-will%3A-world-police)


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